Separated
by iheartlancelet
Summary: What happens when Pony gets separated from his brothers when the state decides that Darry is not capable of taking care of him? What if he had to live with a man that was charged with child abuse in the past?
1. Getting Jumped

LOL I know I should be working on my other fanfic, but I was really really REALLY bored in algebra class today so I just started writing another ficcy~  
  
Oh and this happens before the book and before everything happened, so Johnny and Dally are still alive- YAY!!! : )  
  
Disclaimer: none of these characters belong to me; they all belong to SE Hinton *sob*  
  
*WARNING*: this fic contains child abuse!!! If you don't like it, press the li'l X button on the right hand corner of your computer screen IMMEDIATELY. Lol.  
  
No flames please!  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
Track had just ended. The coach had made us all run ten extra laps around the field in addition to the normal thirty everyone had to do after class because some seniors wouldn't stop fooling around. Everyone cleared out of the field as fast as they could after practice ended, leaving me alone. I sighed, rubbing my aching legs.  
  
"Curtis!"  
  
I turned around. It was my track coach.  
  
"Do you know how you're getting home?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay." He turned and drove off. I walked over to the nearest phone booth, and dialed Darry's work number for a ride home.  
  
"Yeah?" a man's low voice sounded on the other line.  
  
"Hello? Can I talk to Darrell Curtis?"  
  
"He's unavailable right now."  
  
"Okay. Thanks."  
  
The phone clicked. I sighed, fishing around in my pockets for another quarter. They were empty. I bit my lip. Darry would kill me if I walked all the way back home, but I really didn't have a choice. I regretted telling my coach I had a way to get home.  
  
I looked up at the quickly darkening sky. It would be night soon. Ignoring my protesting leg muscles, I started walking home.  
  
The first few minutes were uneventful. I went at a leisurely pace, knowing I had hours before Darry came home  
  
Suddenly, I heard a soft footstep behind me. I whirled around. There was nobody in sight. I shivered. The warm, balmy evening turned into a menacing, shadowy night. I felt eyes watching me.  
  
"Stop scarin' yourself," I said aloud. My voice was a little shaky. Looking behind me one last time, I started walking again at a faster pace.  
  
I froze again as I heard a low laugh and a few more footsteps behind me. my heart rate sped up and cold sweat appeared on my palms. I wiped them on my pants.  
  
"Who's there?" I called.  
  
I heard another chuckle. Terrified, I started running as quickly as I could. Looking over my shoulder, I could see four huge shadowy figures giving chase. Socs.  
  
My breath was coming in short, ragged gasps and the extra burst of energy adrenaline caused was being used up fast. I forced my aching limbs to keep moving, but I knew I'd never get home in time. The Socs were gaining on me. I could hear their jeers and taunts over their heavy, thudding footfalls.  
  
Still breathing hard, I stopped and turned to face them.  
  
They circled slowly around me, like vultures circling their prey. I could smell the whisky on their breath as they cussed me. They were all older than me, tall and lean, and dressed in expensive madras shirts.  
  
"It's not smart to be wandering around on your lonesome at this time, kid," said the one nearest to me, his voice a little slurred in drunkenness. He emphasized the word 'kid'.  
  
"You're the ones that should watch out," I said, trying my best to sound unafraid. "This isn't your turf."  
  
One of them grabbed me. I struggled, but the hands holding my arms were strong. I winced as I felt bruises forming on them.  
  
The other three laughed.  
  
"This isn't your turf," imitated one of them in a high, squeaky voice.  
  
Another punched my stomach hard. I tried to double up, but the Soc holding me wouldn't let go. The last one took out a blade. I started shaking as I watched it glint in the moonlight.  
  
Again, I struggled to get loose. One of them cussed and slugged me a couple of times until I lay limply in the arms of the Soc holding me.  
  
The one with the blade advanced slowly, and held it to my throat.  
  
"Just picture it," he hissed in my ear. "By tomorrow morning it'll be all over the newspapers. One kid greaser found dead on the side of the road. Too bad you won't live to see it."  
  
I panicked, feeling the cold, sharp blade against my neck. I saw the Soc grin drunkenly as he increased the pressure onto the blade. Summoning up the last of my strength, I yanked free of my captives at the last moment. The blade slipped and cut into my shoulder instead. Blood immediately blossomed from the wound, soaking through my thin white T- shirt. It looked black in the night. it throbbed painfully, but I didn't look at it. I could feel warm blood running down my arm in rivulets.  
  
The Soc holding onto my arms swore and dropped me. I fell onto the ground, groaning as I fell on my wounded shoulder.  
  
I dimly heard more footsteps running toward us, and wondered for a second if it was the fuzz.  
  
I tried to sit up, falling back again when one of them kicked me in the ribs. There was a sharp pain and I heard something snap. I curled up on the ground, wishing with all my heart that the Socs around me would just disappear.  
  
"Hey!" shouted a familiar voice. "Fuck off, trash!"  
  
I tried to place the voice, but at that moment I couldn't think straight.  
  
I gave a sigh of relief as I heard the Socs running away. The footsteps approached me and I felt hands helping me up.  
  
"Glory, are you okay, Ponyboy?"  
  
I looked up and found myself looking into the worried gray eyes of Two-bit. They seemed strange without their usual laughing sparkle. I felt a burning at the back of my eyes and I really wanted to start bawling, but I held the tears at bay.  
  
"I'm okay," I said shakily, leaning onto my friend for support. "Thanks."  
  
"No problem." Two-bit shook his head. "You really shouldn't be wondering around on your lonesome at this time, kid."  
  
I shivered as the words brought back the image of the four, menacing figures around me, hearing the same words spoken, but this time, in a threatening tone. Two-bit's voice broke through my thoughts.  
  
"Let's get you home."  
  
I nodded, feeling a lot safer in the company of the other greaser. There was a sharp pain in my ribs whenever I took a breath, and the cut on my shoulder was still throbbing painfully. I ached all over.  
  
Two-bit looked at me closely. "You look like shit kid. Darry's gonna go through the roof."  
  
"You sure know how to make someone feel great," I mumbled.  
  
We reached my house.  
  
"Good luck in there," said Two-bit.  
  
"You're not coming in?"  
  
Two-bit shook his head.  
  
"Nah. I'm gonna catch some action at the drive-in. See you."  
  
"Bye."  
  
I slowly approached the front steps, pausing as I put my hand to the doorknob. Darry was definitely home already. I braced myself for the inevitable lecture, and opened the door as quietly as I could.  
  
Review!!! Pleeaaaz? The more reviews I get, the faster I update *grinz* 


	2. Hospital

Thanks to FUDDYDUDDY, Lizzy Halliwell, Estelle Yavetil and killslay (yup- I'm so predictable, aren't I?) for reviewing. You guyz make me so happy!! :o)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders. SE Hinton does (lucky her!).  
  
The door squeaked, announcing my arrival. I glared at it and walked in, hoping there was nobody in the living room.  
  
My heart sank as I came in. Darry was sitting in an armchair, reading the newspaper. Soda, Steve, Dally and Johnny were all watching TV.  
  
They looked up at me as I walked in.  
  
"Pony!" said Johnny, his eyes wide. "What happened?"  
  
Darry stood up, striding over and towering over me. "Exactly. Where in the goddamn universe were you?"  
  
I started shaking, partly out of fear of my oldest brother and partly remembering the Socs.  
  
I saw Dally, Johnny and Steve get up quietly and walk out of the house, leaving me alone with my brothers.  
  
"Lay off him, Darry," said Soda, as always, coming to my rescue. He gathered me up in his arms. "You okay, honey?"  
  
I felt the hot tears I managed to hold back before build up, spilling uncontrollable down my cheeks. I gave up trying to hold them back in front of Darry and bawled into Soda's chest. He rubbed my back reassuringly, talking to me in a low, steady voice.  
  
Finally, the tears stopped. I wanted to fall asleep in Soda's arms, but I knew I had to explain to Darry first.  
  
Soda took my arms gently, holding me out in front of him, his worried brown eyes flicking over me.  
  
"You got pretty beat up, huh?"  
  
"What happened?" Darry asked again.  
  
"He got jumped," said Soda, a little more snappishly than normal. "Obviously."  
  
Darry wordlessly got up and went into the bathroom. He came out, holding a clean cloth, water and some alcohol. He sighed.  
  
"Pony, sit down." His voice was a lot softer than before.  
  
I collapsed onto the nearest chair. He walked over, seating himself across from me, and started cleaning up my face.  
  
I winced and pulled away as he dabbed alcohol onto a cut on my face.  
  
"Sorry little buddy," said Darry. "Just stay still a bit longer. I'm almost finished."  
  
I yawned. "Can I go to bed now?"  
  
"Not yet. What happened to your shoulder?" Darry asked. My shirt was drenched with dried blood. I had gotten used to the throbbing and had almost forgotten about it. Soda helped me take off my shirt, which was stiff with dried blood. Both my brothers' mouths dropped open as they saw the deep cut on my shoulder. There was blood all over my shoulder and arm, and new blood was still oozing out of the wound.  
  
"We'll need to go to the hospital to get that checked up," said Darry, looking concerned. I yawned again.  
  
"Can't we go tomorrow?"  
  
"No. It could get infected."  
  
"I don't wanna go to the hospital," I complained. I hated hospitals. Everything seemed so white, sterile and cold. I also had a phobia of needles. Darry and Soda both knew about it.  
  
"Don't worry," said Darry. "We won't let the doc give you any shots unless its absolutely necessary."  
  
I nodded, still a little reluctant. "Okay."  
  
"Can you stand?" Soda asked me. I gave him a quizzical look.  
  
"Of course I can stand." To demonstrate this, I started to stand up, but my tired legs almost gave out on me. Darry caught me just in time.  
  
"I think I'd better carry you, little buddy."  
  
I gave in and let myself be carried out into the truck. Darry put me down in the backseat, and Soda got in next to me. Darry started the truck. I rested my head on Soda's shoulder, and immediately fell asleep.  
  
The uncomfortable plastic seat I was lying on woke me up. My head was in Soda's lap. I looked around. We were in a white room.  
  
"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," said a voice above me. I looked up. It was Soda. He gave me one of his infectious grins, and, despite my aching body, I couldn't help smiling back at him. My smile withered as I figured out where we were.  
  
"Are we in the hospital? Where's Darry?"  
  
"We're in the hospital. Darry's signing you in."  
  
"Talking about me?" Darry walked into the room.  
  
"Pony woke up!" said Soda. Darry looked down at me.  
  
"How're you feeling?"  
  
"I'm okay." I didn't feel okay at all, but you just didn't complain in front of Darry. Darry looked at me unbelievingly for a second, and then shrugged.  
  
"Come on. Doc's ready to see you." He helped me up.  
  
"No injections, remember?" I reminded him.  
  
"No injections," Darry promised.  
  
My brothers helped me into the clinic. The doctor was a middle-aged man with dark brown hair. He was wearing a long white coat. He smiled at us when we walked in.  
  
"And you must be Ponyboy Curtis."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Let's see that shoulder."  
  
He cleaned the cut and put a dressing and bandage on it. I found out that I also had a cracked rib. The doc gave me some painkillers, and then he was finished.  
  
"Well, that wasn't too bad, was it?" said Soda as we walked out, giving me a light punch. I yelped as his hand hit a particularly painful bruise on my arm.  
  
"You okay, Pony?" asked Soda worriedly. "Gosh, I didn't mean to hit you so hard."  
  
"I'm okay, Soda. You didn't hit me hard." I tried to give him a reassuring smile.  
  
We got back into the truck.  
  
"Pony, tell me what happened this evening."  
  
I sighed. I knew Darry would ask me that question sooner or later.  
  
"Track ended late because some seniors were horsing around. I tried to call you, but this guy said you weren't available. I didn't have money for another phone call, so I started walking home and these four drunk Socs just appeared outa nowhere." I shivered, remembering them. Soda put a protective arm around my shoulders. I continued. "One of them put a blade to my throat but it slipped and cut my shoulder instead. Then Two-bit showed up and chased them away. He took me back home."  
  
I saw Darry's knuckles tighten over the steering wheel. "Which Socs?" he growled. I looked down at my tennis shoes.  
  
"It's okay, Darry. It doesn't matter."  
  
"Pony," said Soda. "Who were they?" His voice was gentle, but his blazing eyes betrayed the fact that he was furious about the Socs.  
  
"I don't know," I mumbled, not looking at Soda. "It was really dark, y'know? I couldn't see too clearly."  
  
Darry just sighed.  
  
We were silent the rest of the trip home. I fell asleep halfway through, listening to the rhythmic whirring of the engine. 


	3. Recovery

LOL I'm sooo evil! I'm writing this at school. . . yup, I'm a major procrastinator. Noo!! I'm addicted to fanfiction!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of SE Hinton's characters (which totally sux). . .  
  
Killslay: NO!!! YOU WERE RIGHT! Well, extremely close. Yup, you're right again. Hehe, I just typed out exactly what would happen in the next few chapters but I was like, what am I doing?? And pressed back-space. LOL.  
  
MissLKid: Thanks for reviewing!! Yup, I HATE hospitals too. Teeheehee~ they're so scary!  
  
Thanks to Hanah for reviewing too. You rock!  
  
*SODAPOP'S POV*  
  
I smiled fondly as I looked down at my kid brother, sleeping peacefully in my lap. My hands clenched into fists as I thought of the Socs that had tried to hurt him. They were all damn cowards. Teaming up to jump kids. I shook my head. I was ready to whoop one right there and then. The only thing stopping me was Ponyboy. No matter what we told him, he still thought of himself as a burden. I knew he'd hate it if I got a shiner or something from a Soc because of him.  
  
I absent-mindedly played with Pony's copper-colored locks. How could anyone living in this neighborhood remain so loving and trusting? Pony was probably the only greaser in our neighborhood who got up every morning just to watch the sun rising. Even I didn't completely understand why he loved them so much. I never had the patience to watch through one, let alone get up early enough. My baby brother was something special. I would never let him get hurt again.  
  
*DARRY'S POV*  
  
My knuckles were white over the steering wheel. I had to keep taking deep breaths to calm myself. I didn't want to accidentally crash into another car or something.  
  
I clenched my teeth. I couldn't believe that those Socs had tried to kill my baby brother, actually kill! I knew I coulnd't take this to the fuzz; to them, the Socs were always in the right. We'd probably be the ones to get punished.  
  
I sighed, remembering the frightened look on Pony's face when he saw me at home. Why couldn't he understand that I loved him, and that I'd never hurt him? I never meant to yell at him; he was so scatter-brained it just annoyed the heck outa me. We had grown farther apart after our parent's death, while Pony and Soda had gotten closer. I yelled at him because I knew that Pony was going to get somewhere. He wasn't going to spend the rest of his life in this crummy neighborhood. I wanted him to have the life I never had the chance to have.  
  
*PONYBOY'S POV*  
  
Darry made me stay in bed for the rest of the next day. I wanted to get up, but I didn't want to try moving my stiff shoulder.  
  
As I lay in bed, bored as heck, studying the patterns the sun was making on my bed, I heard the front door slam. I grinned. Only Two-bit be as inconsiderate as to slam the door every time he walked in.  
  
"Anyone home?" Two-bit hollered.  
  
"I'm in the bedroom!" I said, raising my voice. Two-bit walked in, sitting on my bed.  
  
"Hey Pony!"  
  
"Hi."  
  
"You feelin' okay now?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Darry won't let me outa bed."  
  
"Well, you shouldn't be outa bed anyway. Those Socs gave you a pretty bad whipping." Two-bit's hands clenched into fists. "I didn't even get a chance to fight 'em. Those bastards ran away the second they saw me. Cowards."  
  
"Don't go looking for them, Two-bit," I pleaded. "I don't want to cause another fight."  
  
Two-bit looked at me. "You won't have caused it. Look kid, this isn't your fault."  
  
I shrugged with my uninjured shoulder.  
  
"It's those Socs faults," continued Two-bit.  
  
The front door slammed again.  
  
"Who is it?" shouted Two-bit.  
  
"Steve and Johnnycake!" Steve yelled back.  
  
They walked into the bedroom. Steve stopped at the door, but Johnny ran over at the sight of me and sat down on the other side of the bed.  
  
"Pony! You okay?"  
  
"Hey Johnny. I'm fine," I replied.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He got jumped by Socs," Two-bit answered for me, glowering darkly. "I say we go and kick their asses right now-"  
  
"Two-bit!" I interrupted, "It doesn't matter. I'm okay."  
  
"Dally's in for giving them a whipping too," continued Two-bit, "But if the kid doesn't want us to. . ."  
  
"I don't," I said firmly.  
  
Two-bit sighed. "Okay."  
  
Steve turned away without saying anything. We heard the television turn on a few seconds later. Yeah Steve, I thought wryly. I love you too.  
  
After a while, Two-bit joined him in the living room, but Johnny stayed with me.  
  
We sat together in comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Johnny had been my best friend ever since I was little. We were close because we understood each other without having to talk. There was never any need for idle chatter to fill up empty spaces.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Johnny asked me after a while.  
  
"My shoulder and my ribs still hurt, a and I guess I'm more afraid of Socs now," I said frankly. Johnny nodded.  
  
"Pony, don't worry about-"  
  
He stopped as we heard the front door open and then close. Darry and Soda's voices could be heard.  
  
"Hey Steve man!" we heard Soda shout.  
  
"Hey Soda!" came a similarly enthusiastic shout. Johnny and I grinned at each other as we heard something, probably a plate, shatter. Steve and Soda's yells were interrupted by another voice.  
  
"Pick up those pieces, you two. If you want to wrestle and horse round, take it outside," said Darry sternly. The laughter abruptly stopped.  
  
"Sorry Darry," chorused Soda and Steve.  
  
"How's Pony?"  
  
"He's okay, Dar," replied Two-bit. "Johnny's keeping him company."  
  
The door to my bedroom opened and my brothers came in.  
  
"Hey ya'll," I said, sitting up.  
  
"Hey Pony!" Soda leapt onto the bed, landing on his back. It creaked loudly. Soda grinned up at Johnny. "Hey Johnnycake!"  
  
Johnny gave him a small smile. "Hi Soda."  
  
"The doc told you not to move that shoulder, Pony," said Darry, standing next to my bed. I craned my neck up to look at him.  
  
"But I've been lying down the whole day!" I said. "Can I at least get outa my room for dinner?"  
  
Darry sighed, but grinned at me. "Well, it's your turn to make dinner."  
  
"YAY!" I shouted. Soda pulled me out of bed. My legs were a little wobbly, and I leaned on the table to get my balance.  
  
"You sure you're up to it?" Darry asked me.  
  
"I'm fine, Dar," I reassured him. 


	4. Social workers r evil!

Killslay: teeheehee~ you find out in the next chapter!! Ps. Thanx for reviewing!  
  
Estelle Yavetil: thanks for reviewing! Ur great! :o)  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
We had a relatively uneventful dinner, if you don't count Steve and I breaking a leg off one of the kitchen chairs, accidentally, of course, and Dally showing up on our porch totally stoned.  
  
The boys left pretty late at night, and Darry made Pony and I go to bed, despite my many complaints.  
  
Pony was already sitting on the bed, reading a book when I walked in.  
  
"Good book?" I asked. He smiled.  
  
"My favorite. It's called 'Gone with the Wind'."  
  
"Tuff. Darry's gonna skin us if we don't get some sleep soon.."  
  
Pony closed his book without argument. "Okay."  
  
I turned off the lights.  
  
"If you're not in bed-" Darry stopped talking when he opened the door and saw me and Pony already in bed. We giggled under the covers.  
  
"Night," said Darry.  
  
"Night Darry."  
  
He closed the door. I flung an arm over Pony.  
  
"Good night, Soda," he said softly to me.  
  
"G'night," I mumbled back. I closed my eyes and easily fell asleep, tired out from my hard day at work.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I pulled my favorite armchair over to the small coffee table, figuring out the bills. I sighed. It had been a long day. I leaned back, resting my head on the back of the armchair.  
  
I closed my eyes, allowing myself to forget the burden of responsibility I bore. If mom and dad were still alive, we'd still be living in the country. Dad and I would go hunting every day like we used to. I would be in college and on the football team again. And every night, when I came home, I wouldn't have to worry about how we'd get our next meal. Mom would cook up something delicious and our whole family would gather around the table and eat and eat and eat. And afterwards, I would lie on my back in the tall grass with dad, looking up at the stars. . .  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
I woke up immediately when I heard a scream. I sat up and looked over next to me. Pony was tossing and turning in his sleep. He was obviously having another nightmare.  
  
I shook him gently, trying to wake him up without hurting him.  
  
"Come on honey, wake up."  
  
His eyes opened, immediately filling with tears. I put my arms around him. He buried his head in my chest, bawling. I rubbed his back.  
  
"It's okay, Pony," I soothed. "It was just a dream."  
  
The door opened again and Darry rushed in.  
  
"Nightmare?"  
  
I nodded. Darry came in and sat on the other side of the bed.  
  
"You okay, little buddy?"  
  
Pony wiped his eyes, trying unsuccessfully to stop crying. He nodded.  
  
"Do you remember what you dreamed about?" I asked him softly. Pony nodded again, sniffling. After a pause, he started talking.  
  
"I was in a huge, empty field. Then I saw you and Darry and the whole gang, and I tried to run over to you, but these shadowy figures just appeared outa nowhere and they wouldn't let me. I tried really hard, but whatever I did, I just couldn't get over to you guys."  
  
Pony started bawling again. Darry reached over and took Pony's hand, and I took his other one.  
  
"Don't you ever worry about getting separated from us, Pony," I said.  
  
"We won't let anyone ever take you away," Darry promised.  
  
Darry and I stayed, holding our baby brother, until he fell asleep again. Darry tucked Pony back into bed.  
  
"You'd better get some sleep, Soda," said Darry quietly. I nodded, gratefully sliding ito bed next to Pony.  
  
"Night Darry."  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I woke up early the next morning and wriggled out under Soda's arm. I checked the time and frowned as I realized that I had missed the sunrise by about two hours. That usually happened when I had a nightmare the night before. I shivered as I remembered it.  
  
I sighed, and went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out three eggs. I had just put the eggs down on the counter when I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody used the doorbell. Everyone usually just barged in. to tell the truth, I was surprised that it still worked.  
  
A little curiously, I opened the door. A woman in her late thirties was standing on the doorstep, looking around at the neighborhood distastefully. She was dressed in a smart black suit and not one hair on her head was out of place. I swallowed, scared without knowing why.  
  
"Is this the Curtis residence?" she asked briskly.  
  
"Um. . . yes," I answered nervously, chewing on my fingernail.  
  
"I'm from the State. I would like to speak to Darrel Curtis Jr."  
  
I suddenly went cold. My mouth was totally dry and I found it hard to breath.  
  
"Wait here," I managed to croak out. I ran into Darry's bedroom. He was fast asleep.  
  
"Darry!" I said softly, trying to stay clam. "Darry, there's someone from the state here!"  
  
Everyone please R/R!!! 


	5. Leaving

Thanks to all you awesome reviewers!!  
  
Aislynn: I tried to make this chapter longer :o) Thanks for your idea! It's great- I'll try it out!  
  
Gryphon girl: heehee~ really? Thanks!!! You make me feel so happi  
  
Eh, Man: I know!!! Pony is soooo cute *jumps up and down hyperly*  
  
Killslay: thanks for reviewing every chapter! Ur great!!! Yup, I'm glad someone noticed that Darry and Pony had similar dreams- I was trying to show that they're actually kinda alike in some ways. . .  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters except for Kevin Skinner and Ms. Vide- how come I only own evil people?? Argh.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I sat up immediately, seeing the terrified look on Pony's face. I quickly pulled on my clothes, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.  
  
"Darry!" said my little brother frantically, his eyes wide. "Don't let her take me away. You promised, remember?"  
  
Despite my wildly beating heart, I put a hand on Pony's shoulder. "Pony, calm down. Everything's going to be fine. Go and wake Soda up. I'll go out first."  
  
Soda was a lot more apt at calming Pony down, and I was pretty sure Pony would freak out if he had to face the social worker another time.  
  
Pony nodded and ran off. I walked into the living room, relieved that I had tidied up most of the living room the night before.  
  
The social worker was standing in the middle of the living room. She looked up as I came in.  
  
"Are you Darrel Curtis Jr., the legal guardian of Sodapop and Ponyboy Curtis?"  
  
"I'm Darrel," I said, shaking her extended hand. Normally, I'm known as the person who can keep his head best in the gang, but as I looked at the woman who was undoubtedly going to try to tear apart what was left of our family, all I could do was keep myself from punching her face in. however, I knew it would make matters worse.  
  
"I am Ms. Vide, a social worker from the state. As you know, we considered you inadequate to fill the job of taking care of children because of your age."  
  
I gritted my teeth. "I have been taking care of them as well as I can-"  
  
"Which is not well enough, young man," interrupted the social worker. "We have been keeping track of you. We know that you went to Tulsa Hospital yesterday because your youngest brother was beaten up. What he needs is to live in a safer neighborhood."  
  
"What he needs most is his family!" I snapped back, losing my temper.  
  
I saw Soda and Pony walk into the living room in the corner of my eye. Soda's hand was on Pony's shoulder, and Pony looked a lot calmer than he had before.  
  
"Ah," said the social worker, seeing them too. "Right on time. Ponyboy Curtis, we will be informing you on which foster home you will go to within this week."  
  
She turned and walked quickly out of the house before any of us could say anything.  
  
I turned to Ponyboy. He had turned very pale and had started trembling. He sat down on the couch, and Soda went and joined him, talking to him calmly, although I could tell from his shaking hands that he was scared too. I sat down next to them, putting an arm around each of my brothers. Pony leaned on me, putting his head on my shoulder.  
  
"Are they gonna take me away, Darry?" he asked. His voice sounded small and afraid. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him that everything was going to be fine again, but I knew I couldn't lie about something like this.  
  
"I don't know, baby. I just don't know."  
  
Soda and Pony started bawling, and it was all I could do to not join in. I had to stay strong. For both of them.  
  
At that moment, the door burst open. Two-bit and Dally walked in, each with huge grins on their faces.  
  
"Woohoo Curti-" Two-bit stopped as he caught sight of us. Our two friends walked over slowly, as if they didn't want to hear the bad news.  
  
"What is it?" Two-bit asked finally, the laughter suddenly gone from his voice. I knew I had to answer.  
  
"A social worker came to our house this morning and the state wants to take Pony a-" my voice cracked, but I swallowed and went on. "Away."  
  
"Glory!" said Dally, flicking his cigarette ashes at us. "Ya'll don't need to worry about those sonofaguns. They just talk about stuff like that, but nothin' actually happens."  
  
I had to swallow to speak again. "Dally," I said quietly. "The social worker said that we would be informed of Pony's foster home within this week."  
  
Two-bit and Dally both flopped down on the couch beside us. For once, Two- bit was at a loss for words. There was total silence, broken only by the occasional sniffles of my two brothers.  
  
Then Steve and Johnny walked through the still open door. They stopped in their tracks when they saw us. I tiredly gestured to them to come in.  
  
We stayed in the living room together for most of the day. I guess we just needed each other. I don't know how Pony would be able to get through one day without the gang. Don't say that! I immediately scolded myself. Pony is staying with us. He's not ever going to be separated from us.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
Pony and I just sat on either side of our oldest brother, bawling our eyes out the rest of the day. The gang stayed with us. I knew I should be comforting Pony, but I couldn't stop crying myself. Our family couldn't be torn apart! We were all we had left.  
  
We all jumped when the phone rang. Steve went and picked it up.  
  
"Yeah?" There was a pause. Steve wordlessly held the phone out to Darry.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
Watching Steve's expressionless face curiously, I took the phone and held it to my ear.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mr. Curtis, this is Ms. Vide."  
  
I got up and walked out of the room, still holding the phone. I didn't want my brothers to have to listen to me argue with her.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I knew it was the social worker. There was something in Darry's expression and his actions that made me absolutely certain of who was on the other line. Why else would Darry walk out of the room to talk on the phone? Although I knew it was wrong, I made up my mind. I had to know what was going to happen. I stood up.  
  
"I'm going to the bathroom," I explained as Soda looked up questioningly. I had to turn away from him so he didn't see me blush. I was good at lying, but I hated doing it to my brothers.  
  
I quickly walked out of the room, to Darry's bedroom, where I knew he would be. His door was closed, so I pressed my ear up to it to hear what was going on.  
  
"I will be bringing this matter to court," came Darry's voice. "Are you sure?. . . One month is far too long. . . you say there's no guarantee?. . . Okay. . . Okay. . . You had better be. . . Bye."  
  
The door opened before I had time to run away. Darry wasn't looking and almost walked right into me. I jumped out of the way, attracting his attention. He sighed as he saw me, and messed up my hair. He didn't holler at me for eavesdropping.  
  
"I'm pretty sure that you know that was the social worker."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"She called to explain that you'll be leaving to Murray on Monday to a foster family, but it's only for a month while they decide what to do. We can't take this to court because of a complicated legal process, but we can have a trial afterwards for your custody."  
  
"But there's no guarantee," I said, quoting Darry. I immediately wanted to kick myself in the head. Darry suddenly looked very young. I usually forgot that he only just turned twenty.  
  
"I'm sorry Ponyboy. I promised you. . . last night. . ."  
  
I suddenly didn't want him to finish his apology. I put my arms around him, and he hugged me back.  
  
"It's not your fault, Dar," I whispered. Suddenly, I felt tears running down my cheeks. I tried desperately to stop them, but then realized with horror that Darry was crying too. I had never seen my oldest brother cry, not even at our parent's funeral. The fact that he was crying now scared me even more.  
  
We clung to each other, not wanting to let go. This was the closest we'd been since mom and dad's death.  
  
I looked up when I heard footsteps approach. It was Soda. He tried to grin when I looked at him, but for once, the smile did not reach his eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry again. Darry and I held out our arms, and Soda joined our group hug.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
The rest of the week past quickly. Too soon, it was over. Pony had a nightmare almost every night, and we were all pale with circles over our eyes because of lack of sleep.  
  
The three of us stayed close together, not wanting to waste the last precious week of time we had together before Pony had to go. I think the worst part of it was not knowing if the state would allow Pony to come back.  
  
It was finally Monday. The whole gang accompanied us to the airport. I looked down at Ponyboy putting a protective arm over him. He looked so small and frightened I just wanted to un over to that so-called Ms. Vide and beat the living daylights outa her for scaring my brother like that. My eyebrows furrowed. I usually hated to idea of hitting women.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I don't think I had ever felt that helpless. I jammed my fists into my pockets, biting the soft inside of my cheek, something I always did when I was nervous. I tasted the coppery, metallic tang of blood. I couldn't believe they were making Ponyboy move to Murray, which was almost a four hour plane ride away. They wouldn't even give us any information on his foster family. All they told us was that he was going to be 'taken care of' by a single man by the name of Kevin Skinner, who lived in the country in Murray.  
  
Well, I thought. At least Ponyboy loves the country. It could be much worse. He could be moving to China.  
  
I hated how I felt so helpless. Suddenly, I remembered what my parents had said when Sodapop was born, and again when Ponyboy was.  
  
"You're a big brother now, Darrel," mom had said, taking my hand. "Remember to always be a good example to your brothers and take care of them.  
  
"And most importantly, never, for any reason, let them be taken away from you," dad had said, taking my other hand.  
  
I've failed you, I thought miserably. I tried, I tried my best, but I couldn't live up to your expectations. I'm sorry.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I was terrified. I had never been away from my family. Apart from when mom and dad were alive and we lived in the country, I had never even been out of Tulsa. Even Soda's arm around my shoulders did not reassure me, because I knew I'd have to survive for a month without him. Darry just stood them, a helpless expression on his face, with his fists jammed into his pockets. It reminded my of how he had looked at mom and dad's funeral.  
  
The gang was standing awkwardly around us, and even Two-bit wasn't wisecracking. Only Steve wasn't there. He was in a corner, talking to a few girls with far too much make-up. Well, I thought, at least one person's happy that I'm leaving.  
  
"Gate 14 is closing in ten minutes," came a voice over a speaker. "All passengers please proceed to the counter."  
  
I checked my ticket. It was Gate 14.  
  
"Come on, Ponyboy," said Soda softly.  
  
Darry picked up my small suitcase. It just contained a few of my clothes, a toothbrush, a bottle of hair grease and a picture of our family before our parent's death. We all walked slowly to the gate. I wished we could just miss the plane, but knew the social worker would just organize another one and make us pay for it.  
  
We stopped outside. I was shaking and really wanted to start bawling, but I didn't partly because I knew it would just make us all feel worse, and also because greasers never cried when there were other people around. Actually, most greasers never cried at all.  
  
A few tears slipped down my cheeks as Soda enveloped me in a huge bear hug, but I quickly brushed them away.  
  
"It's only for a month, Pony," said Soda. "You'll be right back before you know it."  
  
I nodded into his shoulder, not trusting my voice. Then Soda pulled away, and Darry gave me one of his bone-crushing hugs. I could feel his chest racking with sobs he was trying to hide from me. I gathered up my courage.  
  
"I love you Darry," I whispered in his ear. He was silent for a second, and I thought he hadn't heard me.  
  
"I love you too, little buddy."  
  
"Aren't we gonna get a hug too?"  
  
I looked up. It was Two-bit, and a comical grin was on his face again. I let go of Darry, and gave Two-bit a hug. Johnny, Soda and Darry joined, and I saw Soda drag a protesting Dally into the group hug.  
  
"Passengers, this is a last warning call," said the voice over the speaker again. "Gate 14 is closing in five minutes."  
  
I sighed. Two-bit messed up my hair as we all pulled out of the hug. I saw that Steve was standing near us now, without the girls.  
  
"Bye, Steve," I said, for the sake of courtesy.  
  
"Bye."  
  
"We'll miss you," said Johnny softly.  
  
"See ya'll in a month," I said. I took a deep breath and walked to the gate. I turned around once just before I turned the corner. Darry had a hand on Soda's shoulder, and Two-bit, Dally, Steve and Johnny were all standing where I had last saw them. There were all watching me. I gave them one last wave, and they all waved back.  
  
"We'll write!" called Soda.  
  
I gave him a nod to show I heard him, and walked through the gate.  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Murray

Gryphon girl: lol I just found a map of Oklahoma, closed my eyes and pointed (to find Murray). So Murray's in Oklahoma somewhere. . . from what I remember, it's about as far away from Tulsa as Hong Kong is from Singapore. Does that make sense? And I'll answer you're question anywayz :o) it's cuz they think Soda can take care of himself- u kno how Pony keeps getting into trouble but Soda kinda keeps a low profile (about trouble).  
  
Killslay: heehee I never noticed that thing about socs and social workers until u mentioned it! interesting =D and thnx for telling me about the social workers checking up on foster families- I'll fit it in the story somehow~  
  
Also, thnk you to Mel, DBZ gal, Ponyboysgirl and MissLKid for reviewing!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except for Kevin Skinner, Ms. Vide, the other random social worker, and Will. Argh- I still only own evil people! Well, except for Will. Wutever.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
All I could do was stand there, rooted to the spot, watching as my baby brother left. I must've looked really shook up, because Darry put his hand on my shoulder.  
  
Just before Pony turned the corner, he looked back at us one last time, and gave us a wave. We all waved back. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what. I shouted the first thing that came into my head.  
  
"We'll write!"  
  
Pony nodded, and then he disappeared around the corner.  
  
"Come on, little buddy," Darry said softly. "We'd better get home."  
  
A sarcastic remark about Pony not being able to go home immediately popped into my head, but I swallowed it down, and let myself be led away by my oldest brother.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I walked down a narrow corridor. It was deserted. I was probably the last passenger on. I reached the end of it, and walked through another doorway. I found myself in the plane.  
  
My heart sank as I looked at the rows and rows of blue cloth seats. I'd never find my seat.  
  
I heard a voice near my ear, and jumped.  
  
"Need any help, dearie?"  
  
I turned around. It was an air hostess. She had hair that was too platinum blond to be real, and dark red lipstick was smeared over her overly large smile.  
  
"Uh. . . yes. Can you tell me where my seat is?" I showed her my ticket.  
  
"It's six rows forward from here, window seat on your right."  
  
I thanked her, and walked through the rows of chattering people to my seat. To distract myself, I looked out of the window, watching workmen load bulky suitcases onto the plane. A movement near me made me look up. An elderly man had sat in the seat next to me. he pulled out newspapers from his briefcase and was soon absorbed in them.  
  
"The plane will be taking off in approximately one minute," came a man's voice over a speaker. "All passengers please buckle your seatbelts. I wish you all a safe, enjoyable flight."  
  
I nervously buckled my seatbelt. I had never been on a plane ride before. I could feel the engines in the plane whirring and gripped the armrests on my seat.  
  
The plane started moving slowly. Then it got faster and faster. My stomach did a flip as the plane lifted up in the air. My eyes squeezed shut and I felt my ears pop.  
  
Only when the plane was leveled out did I dare to open my eyes again. I cautiously looked out of the window again, and was delighted to find fleecy, white clouds in a clear blue sky. My eyes fed hungrily on the sight. I wondered how sunrises looked from here.  
  
Tearing my eyes away from the window, I looked around the plane. Most people were reading books, magazines or staring off into space. I wondered why nobody noticed the beauty that was just waiting to admired so close to them. Shrugging, I returned my attention to the clouds.  
  
The four hours passed much faster than I thought they would.  
  
"We will be arriving at our destination presently. The current time in Murray is half past three in the afternoon. The temperature is 19 degrees Celsius. Thank you for flying on Tulsa Air. We hope you will fly with us again."  
  
Everyone buckled their seatbelts again. This time, I looked out of the window as we landed. At first, I could only see blobs of random color. As we neared the land, I could see treetops, parks and the tops of houses. Tiny people could be seen scurrying around everywhere like busy ants. I grinned. This was just like watching a movie.  
  
Before I knew it, the plane had landed. It slowed to a halt on the landing, and the plane ride was over. I was in Murray.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I went through my day at work almost mechanically. I checked my watch. Ponyboy had probably just arrived in Murray. I hoped he was okay. None of us had ever been in a plane before.  
  
"Curtis!"  
  
I started as I heard my name. Will, one of the workers, jogged up to me.  
  
"You're really out of it today, Curtis," he remarked, running a dirty hand through his sweaty hair. I shrugged.  
  
"Anyway," Will continued. "You're needed over there." He indicated a place to the left of us where other people were busy lifting roofing tiles.  
  
I nodded and headed over. "Thanks."  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
Feeling a little lost, I followed the crowd and we reached a place where we were to pick up our luggage. I found mine easily, and then followed the first few passengers into another room. It was huge, and full of noisily chattering people. I looked around, a little overwhelmed. Where was I going to find this Kevin Skinner guy?  
  
As I was standing there wondering what to do, a woman in a black business suit and high heels walked up to me. She reminded me a little of Ms. Vide.  
  
"Are you Ponyboy Michael Curtis?" she asked me curtly. I nodded.  
  
"I'm a social worker from the state. I will take you to your new guardian." She turned around and started walking away, giving me no choice but to follow. I glowered at her back. Skinner was NOT my new guardian; Darry was still my legal guardian!  
  
I was distracted from my thoughts as we walked up to a tall, dark- haired man. He half reminded me of Darry, with his short hair, height and muscles. Obviously, the man wasn't as muscular as my oldest brother was, but I was sure he could pack a pretty good punch.  
  
As we came nearer, I wondered how I could have compared the man to Darry. He had a small, high nose, thin lips, and he held his head at an arrogant tilt Darry would never have had. But his eyes scared me the most. They seemed cold and distant, as if he was lost in his own world. I saw a foreign quality in them, something dancing at the back of his slate gray eyes. A shiver ran down my spine as I identified it. Cruelty.  
  
I shook myself. Me and my overactive imagination. We walked up to him. The social worker put on a huge smile and held out a hand. He shook it.  
  
"Mr. Skinner, this is Ponyboy Curtis. Ponyboy, this is Kevin Skinner."  
  
We looked at each other. I squirmed uncomfortably under his raptor gaze.  
  
"Um. . .hi," I finally said. He merely nodded.  
  
"I'm sure you'll get to know each other very well," continued the social worker cheerfully. "I'll leave you two to sort things out."  
  
She walked away.  
  
"Follow me." with those words, Kevin turned and started walking away. Nervously, I followed.  
  
We walked out of the airport and into a car park. Kevin stopped at a small dark green car. Without speaking, he got in and started it up. I hopped into the backseat, not feeling comfortable sitting next to him.  
  
It was a long journey, and Kevin didn't speak throughout the ride. I entertained myself by looking out of the window, watching people and enjoying the fact that I was in the country again.  
  
Finally the car stopped outside a small, old house. It didn't look much different from our house, but it lacked the warm, welcoming quality our house had.  
  
Kevin wordlessly got out, and I followed, holding my suitcase.  
  
Inside the house, I looked around curiously. It was a normal living room, with a light brown couch, a small television and a coffee table. I could see a kitchen from where I was standing, with an ordinary sink, refrigerator and stove.  
  
"I'll show you to your room," said Kevin, breaking the silence. I nodded and he led me to a small room at the end of the house, with a bed, table, cupboard and lamp.  
  
"The bathroom's the door to your left and my room's the door to your right. Don't EVER go into my room." Kevin looked almost menacing, his cold gray eyes fixed on mine. I swallowed and nodded quickly.  
  
"You've already seen the living room, and the kitchen's the room next to that one. Dinner's at six thirty. Can you cook?"  
  
I nodded again.  
  
"Then you'll be making dinner tomorrow."  
  
Without another word, he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I sank down on the narrow bed, suddenly missing Soda, Darry and the gang badly. I never knew how much I had needed them until I was separated from them. Boy howdy, I thought miserably, looking at the peeling wallpaper on the ceiling. I'm never gonna survive a month without them. I felt a tear run down my cheek, and impatiently brushed it away. At least I had a family that loved me. Johnny didn't have anybody of kin who loved him, and I had never heard him complain. I was being totally ungrateful.  
  
Exhausted from the day's events, I lay back on the bed and fell into a deep sleep. 


	7. Kevin shows his true colors

Killslay: Thanks for the awesome review! I'll keep ur advice in mind =D  
  
Aaliyah-Charity: teeheehee~ I luv Singapore too!!! Go us!  
  
Kurupt-emotions: glad u think it's sad in the 'poor pony' way, and not that the story sucks!! : )  
  
MissLKid: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except for the ppl I mentioned in my past two disclaimers. . . can't be bothered to write all of them. The only new person I own is Mr. Robertson (yup, I know- extremely unoriginal name!)  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
When I first woke I thought I was still at home. I wondered why my bed felt so hard under me, and where the usual noises, shouts or yells of the gang were.  
  
I only remembered where I was when my eyes opened again and I found myself in the small room, in the house I would have to live in for the next month.  
  
Rolling off the bed, I checked the time. It was exactly six thirty. Dinner. I quickly brushed a hand through my hair and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I shivered at the thought of having to face Kevin Skinner again. He was just so cold and unfriendly. Why did he even volunteer for this foster family stuff?  
  
I didn't have time to ponder on this, because it was dinnertime and I really didn't want to be late- the thought of those piercing gray eyes boring into mine just gave me the shivers. He really reminded me of those bad guys in movies. I frowned again, mentally scolding my imagination.  
  
Dinner was uneventful. Kevin was unsurprisingly silent throughout it. He left as soon as he had finished, leaving me to do the dishes. I shrugged. Normally I resented this chore above all others, but here I was glad of something to occupy my hands with. Humming softly to myself, I started washing the dishes.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
The gang was sprawled in front of the TV, but I doubted anyone was actually watching it. I had been staring blankly at the screen for at least half an hour, and I still didn't know what was going on in the television. I looked around at everyone. They were all lost in their own thoughts.  
  
I had never been separated from my baby brother, and spending a day without him was killing me. I wondered what he was doing now. I hoped he was enjoying himself. Suddenly, I remembered my last words to Pony. I jumped up, making the gang stare at me. I grinned at them.  
  
"Let's write to him!"  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I finished doing the dishes and went back into my room. Feeling lonelier than I had ever felt, I switched off the lights, and jumped under the covers of the bed. It was pitch black, and the whole house was silent. Suddenly, I felt terrified. I buried my head under the covers, wanting the comfort of Soda's arms very much.  
  
I was still too exhausted to stay awake for very long, and I fell into a troubled sleep.  
  
I woke up early the next morning, and went into the kitchen to make some breakfast. Kevin was already sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a mug of steaming coffee. He barely looked up when I walked in.  
  
"Eggs are in the fridge. Cook them yourself."  
  
I nodded, and headed to the fridge.  
  
"And you're supposed to start school today. It starts at seven thirty."  
  
He gave me the address and walked out of the house, obviously expecting me to get to school by myself.  
  
I stood there for a moment, absolutely shocked. Darry would never had told me to get to school by myself, especially if I didn't even know where the school was! I checked the time. It was six thirty. If I ate quickly, I'd have almost an hour to find my way.  
  
I hard-boiled my egg. It was strange not cooking for three. I sighed, quickly eating it. I searched the fridge for any chocolate milk, but the only drink in it was beer. I wrinkled my nose. I'd have to settle with plain water. I didn't even bother checking for chocolate cake.  
  
After breakfast, I started out to look for the school I was supposed to go to. There were a few other people walking around the place. I couldn't classify them as Greasers or Socs. They just looked like average, middle-class people. None of them paid me any attention as I walked by, something for which I was extremely grateful. I tried following road signs, but soon I got totally lost. I looked around for a relatively safe person to ask for directions. I settled on an old man in overalls reading the newspapers on a bench on the side of the road. I walked up to him, a little nervously. I hate having to talk to strangers.  
  
"Can you tell me where Murray High School is?"  
  
He looked up at me. "Huh?" His voice was low and coarse.  
  
I repeated my question, and he looked at me calculatingly. I think he was trying to tell if I was joking or not. Finally, he answered.  
  
"Go down ter the end of the road, turn right. Keep walkin'. Yer can't miss it."  
  
I thanked him, and walked on.  
  
As the man had said, you couldn't miss it. It was a large, old red- brick building with a huge white sign with "Murray High School" engraved in black block letters. There was a yard. A few kids older than I was were hanging out in it. they stopped talking and stared at me as I walked in. I put on the tough, expressionless face Greasers reserved for strangers, and they quickly averted their eyes. I ignored them and walked into the school. I looked around, not really knowing what to do. A woman in her late forties bustled up to me.  
  
"What are you doing inside? No students allowed in the school before exactly seven thirty!"  
  
She tried to shoo me out.  
  
"I'm new here," I said. She stopped, and checked a chart she was holding.  
  
"Your name is. . . Michael Curtis?"  
  
"Ponyboy," I corrected. "Michael's my middle name."  
  
She looked at me suspiciously, like most people do when I first tell them my name, but I guess she decided not to comment.  
  
"Well, if you're new, I'll give you your schedule. You'd better wait in your classroom, or you'll be totally lost."  
  
She led me to an empty classroom, and left. I looked around. There were small windows at the top of the room, opened so slightly that the room felt stuffy and warm, despite the chilly air outside. The wallpaper was yellowing, and peeling off the walls in some places. Trash was littered here and there, with scribbles and pieces of gum stuck on the tables.  
  
I took a seat near the back of the class. Soon, people started filing in. they were all about Soda's age. They all looked at me curiously for a second. Some turned away and ignored me, and some glared at me. I ignored them too.  
  
Finally, a man in oversize spectacles holding a file full of papers walked in. I guessed that he was the teacher.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Robertson!" shouted one of the boys near the back. "We've got a runt in the wrong classroom here!"  
  
Everyone turned around to look at me and I fought not to blush.  
  
"Ah. That's the new student," said Mr. Robertson. He looked at me. "You look a little young to be in this class. are you sure you're in the right room?"  
  
I nodded, and he shrugged. "We're on page 136." He handed me a worn textbook, and everyone flipped theirs to the right page. Well, some people. The others just stared into space, blowing bubbles with their gum.  
  
I skimmed the page we were on. It was on BC Calculus. I shrugged. I had completed that course last year. (A/N: YAY! Smart Pony! LOL.)  
  
The rest of the day passed quickly. The people at Murray High School just ignored me, which was fine with me.  
  
The bell rang at half past three in the afternoon, and school was over. I walked back to the house slowly, dreading to see Kevin again.  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief when I got back to the house. Nobody was home. I checked the mailbox, not really expecting a letter for me. I pulled out three white envelopes, scanning through them. Two were addressed to Kevin Skinner. They were both bills. The third one, however, was addressed to me. I grinned happily. Darry and Soda had remembered me!  
  
I ran back int omy room, leaning back on my bed and opening the letter. I immedieatly recognized Soda's handwriting.  
  
"Hey Pony," it read. "How's Murray? Bet it's great to be in the country again, huh? We're missin ya like crazy back here in Tulsa. How's the Kevin Skinner guy? Hope you get allong well together. Well, can't wait to s ee you again.  
  
Sodapop Curtis.  
  
Ps. Darry and the gang say hey too!"  
  
I grinned again, cheered by the little reminder of home. I took out the picture of our family, examining each of our faces. Darry and dad had an arm around each other, and they both had huge identical grins on their faces. Darry's forehead didn't have the worry lines that had appeared after the car crash. Mom had an arm over Soda and I, and we all looked carefree and happy. I smiled sadly, closing my eyes, remembering the days with mom and dad.  
  
I don't know how long I sat there, but when I opened my eyes again the sky was a dark inky blue. I jumped up. It was almost six, and I hadn't started any of my homework yet.  
  
I spread all of my work on the small table in my room and got to work.  
  
I jumped when I was distracted from my work by a loud crash. Somebody had slammed the front door hard. Just as I was wondering who it was, I recognized Kevin's voice.  
  
"Kid! Get over here!" he sounded angry. Wondering what I had done wrong, I walked into the living room. Kevin was standing in the kitchen, and as I entered, I could feel anger radiating from him like heat waves.  
  
"Do you have any idea what the time is?" his voice was dangerously soft.  
  
"What's the fucking time, kid?" he shouted. I found my tongue.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"It's eight p.m. I told you specifically to have my dinner on the table by six thirty!"  
  
He took a step toward me and I instinctively stepped backwards.  
  
"WELL?"  
  
I swallowed. "I forgot. I'm sorry."  
  
"You forgot? You fucking forgot?"  
  
I started shaking. Kevin pushed me roughly backwards. I lost my balance, not expecting it, and fell heavily against the fridge on my injured shoulder. I fought back a painful yelp.  
  
"You just going to stand there, or are you gonna make my fucking dinner?" Kevin shouted. I stood up shakily and walked over to the counter, trying to get as far away from him as possible while seeming to follow his orders. I could feel warm blood trickling down my arm and knew my wound had reopened.  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard him storm out of the kitchen. I made him a quick dinner, and ran back into my room. I inspected my shoulder. There was a huge bruise on it, and it was, as I had known it would be, bleeding. I longed to go to the bathroom and clean it up, but I knew I would never dare to get out of my room while Kevin was outside.  
  
I sank down on the bed, trembling. Something crinkled. I looked down, and saw Soda's letter. I had almost forgotten it. I picked it up slowly, and made my decision. I wouldn't make my brothers worry.  
  
"Hey Soda," I wrote, making sure that no blood from my shoulder dripped onto the paper. "Everything's fine here. . ."  
  
Pleaze review!!!!!!! 


	8. Author's note

Hey everyone!  
  
Sorry this isn't a new chapter, but I'm kind of stuck. . .  
  
Aaliyah-Charity asked me to make Soda write longer letters, but I can't think of anything to write because nothing much is happening back in Tulsa!!!  
  
Do you guys think I should make Sandy leave Soda, hehe. . . *soda torture* lol. To give the gang more stuff to talk about?  
  
Or any other ideas, people? . . .  
  
HELP ME!!!  
  
Thanks a lot to all my reviewers, Killslay, DBZ- gal, Aaliyah-Charity, Aislynn, Estelle Yavetil, gryphon girl, Hell-Flame, MissLKid, Hanah, Kurupt Emocions and Mel! You guys are the best! :o)  
  
-Litzy. 


	9. Goodbye Sandy!

Sorry this chappie's a bit shorter, but I typed it up last night at like, eleven pm after the 8th grade dinner dance (yay! I finally graduated!!! *jumps up and down hyperly*) so don't yell at me!!!  
  
Killslay: Thanks for your, as-always, great advice! In answer to your questions, I considered it, but no, Pony's not going to have a new friend in Murray. I find it annoying when there are too many OCs. Yup, I'll have Johnny write a letter too later! And no I didn't purposely make Kevin's word similar to Darry's; that was just coincidence, but thanks for mentioning it! heehee~ you'll find out later why he is doing this foster work~. Like, why the social worker assigned him to Pony. I still haven't decided how Kevin and Pony are going to act when the social worker comes (I mean like, if Kevin's going to answer, or Pony). Thanks for reviwing!!!  
  
Lis: Thanks so much for e-mailing me!!!  
  
Aaliyah- Charity: I promise Soda's next letter will be longer!!! Juan de Nova and Bassas da India? Sorry my geography sucks- where are they?  
  
Aislynn: Looking forward for an email from you! Good luck on your fic! I'm sure it'll be great.  
  
Hell-Flame: hah! Ur last! Daayvid! You evil guy! Actually ur nicer than YaYa cos I'm practically begging her to read this and she won't!!! teeheehee~ ur the first person that I know who read this. O and that comment about the evil fathers wuz really funny! I was laffing my head off. Hehe did u notice that mi spelling for urs is da worst? LOL. Sowee can't help it. newayz, thnx 4 reviewing! Oh and if you bug me about this chapter (you'll know wut I'm talking about after you finish it) I will totally do the Stephen-act and shove glitter down ur shirt.  
  
Thanks to DBZ gal, MissLKid, Gryphon girl and Estelle Yavetil for reviewing too!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from 'The Outsiders'; SE Hinton does. Oh wait, I own Dillon. Do I own Sandy's mom? She's kinda SE Hinton's, but she wasn't mentioned in the book. LOL. Whatever~  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
The first thing I checked when I got back home the next day was the letterbox. Sure enough, a letter was in it, waiting for me. I picked it up eagerly. It was from Pony.  
  
I sat down on the couch, quickly opening the letter.  
  
"Hey Soda," I read, "Everything's fine here, so don't worry. Kevin mostly ignores me, but that's okay with me. The weather in Murray is about the same as it is in Tulsa. As a matter of fact, Murray is pretty much the same as Tulsa, except that there aren't any Socs or Greasers here. Everyone in Murray looks about the same. They could all be classified into the same middle-class group.  
  
I started at Murray High School today. People there don't really pay me any attention either, which is good. Classes are also pretty easy.  
  
Ps. Say Hey back to everyone for me!  
  
Pps. I miss you all too.  
  
Ponyboy Curtis."  
  
I grinned as I put down the letter. I didn't like the fact that Pony was being ignored, but I was content that he was okay. I frowned. I couldn't shake off an underlying feeling of uneasiness as I looked at the letter. I shrugged, ignoring it. It was just my imagination. I left the letter lying on the coffee table, and flipped on the TV.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I cleaned my bleeding shoulder with one of my shirts, and turned off the lights in my room. This time, I kept the small lamp on. I lay down in the narrow bed, keeping an eye on the door. I know it sounded stupid, but I was terrified that Kevin would storm in again, his eyes blazing and his fist raised. . .  
  
I trembled and drew up the covers.  
  
No, I decided suddenly. I won't let him make me cower in fear. I lowered the thin blanket and closed my eyes, refusing to let the fear consume me.  
  
In my mind, I was back in Tulsa, with Soda's arm flung over me, his light snores lulling me to sleep. I sighed contentedly, and finally fell asleep.  
  
I woke up early the net morning, hoping I would be able to slip out of the house before Kevin woke up.  
  
I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face in the bathroom, and went into the kitchen. I found myself face to face with Kevin. The fear I was able to chase away the night before returned twice fold, and I involuntarily took a few steps back.  
  
"Make me my breakfast, kid," growled Kevin, reaching out and cuffing me hard on the head. "And next time wake up earlier."  
  
My head spun and I grabbed onto the counter to steady myself. I put a hand up to my head, nursing my temple.  
  
"Hurry up."  
  
With that, Kevin swept out of the room. I stood still for a moment, shaking away my dizziness, and then went to make breakfast, quickly wolfing down two eggs in my hunger; last night I had not had dinner.  
  
I left Kevin's breakfast on the table and rushed out of the house before he came back in.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
I flipped through the channels of the television boredly (A/N: lol is that even a word?), finally switching it off with a sigh. I stood up and stretched. Darry wasn't home yet; usually it was only Pony and I in the house at this time. The house seemed unbearable empty without him.  
  
I thought for a moment. Yes, I decided. I had waited too long.  
  
I picked up the phone, my fingers automatically pressing the familiar numbers. I waited impatiently while it rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
I sighed inwardly. It was Sandy's mom. She hated me, thinking I was some dirty hood who would be a bad influence on her daughter.  
  
"Hello. This is Sodapop Curtis. May I talk to Sandy please?" I said as politely as possible. It didn't work, as I knew it wouldn't.  
  
"She's unavailable-" started Sandy's mom, her tone considerably colder. She was interrupted by another voice.  
  
"Mom, is that Soda?"  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Hey honey," I grinned.  
  
"Hey baby," she replied.  
  
"Can you meet me at the park?"  
  
"Now?"  
  
"If you have time."  
  
"I'll try."  
  
"Thanks. I love you."  
  
"Love you too."  
  
I put the phone down, and put on Darry's khaki pants and a blue button-down shirt. I went into the bedroom, feeling around under the mattress of the bed. Finally, my fingers found the tiny blue velvet box. I grinned softly as I drew it out and placed it safely in my pocket.  
  
I checked my reflection in the mirror, running my fingers through my hair to make it neater. I sighed. Why were we always out of hair grease when I needed it?  
  
I headed out of the house and walked to the park, sitting down on a bench.  
  
I didn't have to wait long. Less than five minutes later, Sandy walked in, looking around for me.  
  
I grinned helplessly as I saw her. Her blond hair shone in the last hours of sunlight, and her pale blue dress matched perfectly with her china blue eyes.  
  
I stood up, attracting her attention as I did so. She smiled as she walked up, and I pulled her into a kiss, losing myself in the sensation of her soft, warm lips against mine. I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, entangling my fingers in her long, silky hair.  
  
"I missed you," I breathed as we pulled out of the kiss. She laughed, a beautiful soft, tinkly sound.  
  
"We saw each other yesterday."  
  
"I missed you all the same."  
  
We smiled at each other.  
  
"I love you Sandy."  
  
"I love you too baby."  
  
I got down on one knee, looking into her beautiful eyes. My heart suddenly started banging against my ribcage. I reached into my pocket and opened the small box, opening it and taking out the silver ring. I took her hand with my other hand.  
  
"Sandy Runtherford, will you marry me?" I asked breathlessly.  
  
There was total silence for a few moments, broken only by the occasional whisper of the wind fluttering through the tree leaves.  
  
Then Sandy looked away.  
  
"Soda. . . I can't."  
  
I felt like she had slapped me. I tried to swallow the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat, but it wouldn't go away. My heart felt like a heavy stone in my chest.  
  
"Why?" I managed to whisper painfully. "I thought you loved me."  
  
She shook her head. "Look baby, I love you, but I don't want to marry at sixteen in this crummy neighborhood. I was going to tell you- I'm moving to Florida tomorrow. Permanently. To live with my grandmother."  
  
Her tone softened as she looked into my eyes. She put a hand on my cheek. "People move on. I'm sorry."  
  
She gave me one last dry kiss on the cheek, and walked away.  
  
I sat down on the ground, hardly believing what had happened. I watched as the only girl I had every truly loved walked away, her golden hair flowing over her shoulders, her hips swaying slightly as she walked. I shut my eyes, engraving the image of her face in my mind.  
  
"I'll always love you, Sandy," I whispered after her one last time.  
  
I watched until she disappeared from my view, and put a hand to my cheek, which was still tingling from her last touch. I was surprised to find tears running down them.  
  
I buried my head in my arms and bawled. The tears wouldn't stop coming. I didn't care who saw me.  
  
"Well, look at this bawl-baby," came a voice above me I didn't recognize.  
  
"What do ya reckon he's cryin' about, Dillon?" came another voice.  
  
"His mommy kicked his good-for-nothin' ass outa the house, probably," smirked a third voice. I took a deep breath and looked up.  
  
Three Socs were circling slowly around me. Instead of being afraid, I merely felt annoyed. I stood up. The biggest Soc cracked his knuckles in an obvious attempt to be menacing.  
  
"Gonna go crying back to your mommy, Greaser?"  
  
Grateful for an excuse to start a fight, I flew at him. A little taken aback by the ferocity of my attack, the other two Socs didn't join in until the one I was slugging shouted for help.  
  
They jumped on top of me, and then we were all rolling around on the ground, hitting, kicking and punching. I gladly released my emotions into the fight.  
  
Too soon, it was over. The Socs got up and ran away, nursing several injuries. After a moment, I picked myself up too, ignoring my aching body, and walked slowly back home.  
  
Review!! 


	10. Kevin comes home drunk, uh oh

Thanks for reviewing, everybody!!!  
  
Killslay: Yeah, i totally agree about getting annoyed when OCs take over the whole story. Hey, what ARE Mary Sues anyways? Yup sorry i'm dumb. Hm. . . i'll try to write something in everyone's POV. I noticed i've only done Pony, Soda and Darry so far. Oh and also, can i ask you a few questions? You don't have to answer them, but i'm just interested if firstly, are u a girl or a guy, and secondly how old are you? Sorry. If you find them too personal, just ignore them and i won't ask you again. =D  
  
Hell-Flame: LOL yea it was sooo freaky! In the dinner dance, Stephen GRABBED the front of my spaghetti strap and like, SHOVED a handful of glitter down my front!!! I was like WTF??? And i tried to put glitter down his shirt too, but his had a collar, so i couldn't so i ended up pouring it on his head. LOL.  
  
Aislynn: Thanks for reviewing! I hope ur email thingy works soon!!!!!  
  
MarLyG Riddle: Thanks a lot!! Hehe dun worry, much more Pony torture comin up in dis chapter!!! *evil grin*  
  
Thanks also to MissLKid and Ponyboysgirl! :o)  
  
Disclaimer: i REPEAT (from previous chapters, lol) i don't own ANY characters from the "Outsiders". Argh- these disclaimers are really getting annoying~  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I drove back home quickly after work, knowing Soda would be lonely by himself at home. I hoped Steve or somebody was keeping him company. He was taking it the hardest of all of us about Pony having to leave.  
  
I sighed. I had gone to the State today, trying to get permission to let him come home sooner, as I had the day before, but again, they had adamantly refused. I was glad I hadn't mentioned my going there to anyone. They didn't need any false hope.  
  
I arrived at home, and walked up the front steps. I opened the as- always unlocked door, and went in. I grinned when I saw the gang sprawled in front of the television; that meant Soda wasn't alone.  
  
"Hey everyone," I called. They turned around.  
  
"Hey Darry," said Two-bit, giving me one of his comical grins.  
  
"Where's Soda?" I asked, looking around. I wasn't really worried; he was probably in the kitchen whipping up another of his too-sugary chocolate cakes.  
  
"I thought he was with you," replied Steve.  
  
"With me?" I echoed. "I haven't seen him since this morning."  
  
We all stared at each other. My heart started beating faster.  
  
"None of you know where he is?"  
  
They all shook their heads.  
  
"He went back here after work," supplied Steve. "But he wasn't home when we came, which was about five thirty."  
  
I could hardly breathe. Not Soda too! If I couldn't find him, the State would take him away to some foster home too. I would probably never see them again. I started to panic.  
  
"Darry, don't worry. He's probably just at the Dingo with Sandy or something," said Two-bit, getting up and walking over to me.  
  
I ignored him and started pacing around the small living room, clenching and unclenching my fists. Where WAS he?  
  
Suddenly, the door squeaked open. I looked up. It was Soda. I felt a wave of relief, and then of anger.  
  
"Where the FUCK have you been?" I shouted. I seldom use swear words, but I was so angry I couldn't think straight. I could never control my temper.  
  
"Darry, please don't start," said Soda tiredly, not even looking up at me. He sounded near tears, and I felt my anger ebb away as I heard him. I walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"What's wrong, Pepsi-cola?"  
  
I felt his shoulders shake, and he shook his head, shrugging my hand off. Before I could do anything, he ran out of the living room and into his room.  
  
I looked around at the gang. They looked as baffled as me.  
  
"Look everyone, let's call this a night," I said. They understood immediately, getting up.  
  
"See you tomorrow, Dar," said Johnny as they walked out of the house.  
  
"Bye."  
  
I closed the door behind them and quickly headed to Soda's bedroom.  
  
My kid brother was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down at the floor when I walked in. I started getting worried again. I had never seen Soda that down before.  
  
I sat down next to him wordlessly, letting him know I was there for him. I knew he would start talking soon.  
  
"I proposed to Sandy," he said finally.  
  
"What happened?" I asked him, as gently as I could.  
  
The tears he had obviously been trying to hold back overflowed. I pulled him into a hug.  
  
"She said she didn't want to marry at sixteen and she was moving to Florida to live with her grandmother forever," he bawled. I rubbed his back, letting him cry all he wanted.  
  
I didn't know what to think. Part of me was furious at Sandy for breaking Soda's heart, but the other part understood her. Sandy wasn't the type of girl to marry at sixteen and settle down. I knew she would move sooner or later, and I HAD warned him, but Soda hadn't wanted to listen.  
  
However, I knew it wasn't a great time to say, "I told you so!"  
  
I stayed with Soda until he fell asleep, and tucked him into bed. I sighed softly as I turned off the lights. I could see the silhouette of my brother, curled up miserably in his bed. I just wished mom and dad were alive. They always knew what to do, and how to comfort. I closed the door softly and went to bed myself.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
School passed uneventfully. I walked back to Kevin's house, weighing my chances of escaping. I sighed. It was all just wishful thinking. I had contemplated running away countless times that day. It would never work. If I ran away, I would decimate my already minute chances of the State allowing me to return to Tulsa. Anyway, where would I go? I could probably carry a few days' supply of food with me, but what could I eat afterwards? I had no many to take care of myself. I sighed heavily again as I arrived at the house. I forced myself to walk in, although I wanted to run away as fast as I could din the opposite direction.  
  
Luckily, Kevin wasn't home. I grabbed something quick to eat and headed to my room, getting out my homework.  
  
My mind wondered as I looked down at the instructions for my English paper. I wondered how everyone was back in Tulsa. I sill felt guilty about sending that letter to Soda. Part of me hoped he had believed my lie, but the other part of me wished that he could find out about Kevin and rescue me from Murray. I smiled softly as I imagined Darry storming into the house, and Kevin running away. . .  
  
I shook myself, coming reluctantly out of my daydream. I would never tell the gang, especially my brothers, about Kevin. I was already a burden to them. Darry had enough troubles, and there was no way I would add my problems to his.  
  
Suddenly, I remembered that I had to cook Kevin's dinner. I walked out of my room and into the kitchen. The only thing I could find in the fridge was microwavable pizza. I shrugged. It would have to do. I quickly defrosted it and popped it into the small microwave. I ate two slices and left the rest in the microwave for Kevin.  
  
I went back into my room and read through the instructions to the essay I'd have to turn in tomorrow. I sighed, realizing I had forgotten to bring back any paper. I knew without having to look around that Kevin had not provided paper for me in my room. Kevin. A sudden idea came to me. Kevin would definitely have paper in his room. But did I dare to go in, after Kevin had so expressly forbidden me to enter?  
  
It didn't matter, I reasoned. I wasn't going to poke around or anything. I'd just go in, grab a few sheets of paper, and run back out. I'd have plenty of warning and time to escape if Kevin suddenly arrived at the house.  
  
A little nervously, I walked out of my room and into the corridor. I turned to the right room, my hand tentatively touching the doorknob. It turned easily and, my heart pounding in my throat, I walked in.  
  
It was a normal room. Inside, it was a little dim. A single unmade bed was in the corner, with a wooden wardrobe and a table with drawers. A black electric light was on the bare table, and a small window with green curtains was on one wall. The paper had to be kept in the desk, I decided. I opened the drawer and found, as I had expected, a stack of white paper. I grabbed two sheets and shut the drawer quickly, making sure nothing looked like it had been disturbed.  
  
I walked out of the room, closed the door tightly, and ran back into my room. I was still breathing a little more quickly than usual. I sat down at my table and put the paper down. I poised my blue pen over the paper, about to write, when the light in my room caused me to see something I had not noticed before in the dimness of Kevin's room. Tiny, black typed letters could be seen faintly from the other side of the paper.  
  
It wasn't, as I had originally thought, blank paper. I stood up again, about to return to Kevin's room to put the papers back, when I stopped slowly, wondering what information the papers in front of me contained about my foster parent. I sat back down and curiously turned over the paper.  
  
I knew what it was the second I saw it. I had studied governments in eighth grade in Social Studies class. I recognized the layout of the paper, and the stamp of the Murray State Court of Appeals. This was a trial document.  
  
My eyes quickly skimmed through it.  
  
"Full name: Kevin Hugo Skinner  
  
Occupation: Workman  
  
Age: 31  
  
Convicted of: Child abuse and murder. . ."  
  
I did a double take. CHILD ABUSE AND MURDER? I forced myself to continue reading.  
  
"Crime: Beat an orphaned six year old girl to death. No obvious reason why. Police found him at the site of the scene holding a baseball bat, fully covered in her blood.  
  
Pleaded guilty. . ."  
  
The rest of the page was details of the murder. I skipped down to the bottom of the page.  
  
"Sentence: 10 years in jail, and one month custody of a child."  
  
My hands were shaking hard. I put the paper back down on the table. The document explained everything. I stood up. I was going to leave. I'd hitchhike back to Tulsa from here if it meant getting away from Kevin.  
  
Not bothering to pack in my haste, I strode out of my room, into the living room, and finally reached the front door. I put my hand on the doorknob, but just as I was about to turn it, the door was flung open with such force, it hit my head hard. I fell backwards, landing on the hard, wooden floor. I groaned, my hand coming up to nurse the large bump that had appeared on my head. the first thing I saw was a pair of large brown shoes, uncomfortably close to me. My eyes traveled upwards fearfully. I knew who I would find standing in front of me.  
  
Kevin towered over me. I scrambled to my feet. He put his face close to mine.  
  
"Where did you think you were going, kid?" I could smell the beer on his breath, and my voice caught in my throat.  
  
"Tryin' to run away, kid?"  
  
I hated the way he said 'kid'. It was his way of showing that I was inferior to him, and that he could do anything to me.  
  
I tried to back away from him, but he grabbed my arm. His strong grip was painfully bruising. I let out a small cry of pain as his hand tightened on a still-healing bruise from the Socs on my arm. He seemed to enjoy my pain. The sides of his thin lips curled slightly upwards, the closest expression to a smile I had ever seen on his face. The fact that it was there because of my pain made me shudder.  
  
"Good little kids don't try to run away," he said, his words a little slurred in drunkenness. "Bad little kids need to be punished."  
  
I tried desperately to get away from him, but his grip was firm. Keeping a hold on my arm, he started taking off his belt with his other hand. Terrified, I started to struggle again. It only made him angrier.  
  
He finished taking his belt off at the same second I, by some miracle, struggled free.  
  
In my rush to get away from him, I tripped on the carpet. I was so terrified I could hardly breathe. I could hear Kevin walking toward me. . .  
  
LOL okay that was a really really really extremely totally horrible stupid lame ending but WUTEVER. Lol. Sorry. I have to get some work done or I'm screwed majorly.  
  
Please review! 


	11. Poor Pony!

Hey everyone!  
  
Sorry I haven't posted anything up for such a long time, but fanfiction.net wasn't working!!! Argh. . . well anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed!  
  
Killslay: omg!! That was the longest review I've ever received!!! THAAANK YOOOUU!! and yes I've never heard of a case in which the punishment is to foster a child, but I couldn't think of any other reason why Pony would be under Kevin's care. . . the social worker is going to visit their home in chapter 12! Heehee~ thanks for the compliment! I was jumping up and down- my friends were like. . . wtf? Oh and thanks so much for answering! I wuz getting really curious~ lol.  
  
Porcelain Princess: yea~ Kevin Hugo Skinner is a horrible name! Suits his personality! Hehe. erm. . . he's supposed to prove that he's changed after his 10 years of prison, I guess. I don't know! it just goes along with the story. . . whatever! Teeheehee~ I'll try to put more Ponyboy POV in it.  
  
Hanah: Thanks for clearing that Mary Sue thing up!  
  
Also, thanks to DBZ gal, Estelle Yavetil, Ann, Jess S, Mandy aka Uni, Hell- Flame, MarLyG Riddle, RemusLover and MissLKid for reviewing!!! You guys are great :o)  
  
Erm. . . okay I am aware that I missed out a few people, but I deleted the review alerts in my email inbox after I received them cos I thought they'd show up on fanfiction.net. they still haven't, so I'm REALLY sorry if I missed anybody out. . . I'll mention you in the next chapter if it finally shows up!!! SORRY!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters; they're all SE Hinton's.  
  
~*~STEVE'S POV~*~  
  
Life was strange without Ponyboy. It would be strange without any member of our gang, but it surprised me that I would feel any emotion for Pony's leaving Tulsa.  
  
To me, he had always been an annoying, tagalong kid. Soda had been my best friend since grade school, but I knew he cared more about his kid brother than he would ever care about me.  
  
I've just always hated Pony. My animosity toward him came as easily as I breathed. I guess I have to admit I've always been a bit jealous. Pony may be an orphan, but that's a helluva lot better than having to go home to a drunken father every night. At least Pony had two brothers that loved him and would always take care of him. I had had to fend for myself for as long as I could remember.  
  
I hate to say this, but I knew it was true. I just had to yell at someone to get rid of the anger I had bottled up inside of me toward my father. I picked on Pony because he was the youngest, and the most vulnerable. If I did anything to Johnny, I'd have the whole gang on my back. But I knew Pony would never say anything. Firstly, he loved Soda and would never tell him that he hated me, his best friend. And secondly, Pony always kept his problems inside. He had always been a quiet kid; shy, too, which wasn't a good thing to be in our neighborhood. I guess that's why the Socs kept picking on him.  
  
I sighed. The problem was, I was just so used to him being there, I felt kind of strange inside, as if part of me was missing. I frowned. Was I actually beginning to miss Ponyboy Curtis?  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I washed my face, brushed my teeth and went back to my room to sleep. I opened the door to Soda's room as I walked past it, checking to see if he was okay. He was still sleeping. I quietly closed the door.  
  
As I went into my room, I accidentally tripped on something small, rectangular and solid. I looked down. It was Ponyboy's paperback copy of "Gone with the Wind". I sighed as I bend down, picking it up. I had bought a copy for Pony for his twelfth birthday. I flipped through the worn pages. Pony loved that book.  
  
I grinned as a sudden idea came to me. I'd send the book to Pony. I was pretty sure he was going to bring it with him to Murray anyway, but forgot. I carried the book back to my room, put it on my bedside table, and fell asleep.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I let out a whimper of pain in spite of myself as the belt descended on my back.  
  
"I'll teach you not to try to run away, kid!" Kevin shouted.  
  
I stifled another cry of pain as the belt fell across my back again. I felt as if my back were on fire.  
  
"Apologize!"  
  
I gritted my teeth. There was no way I'd ever apologize to that pig.  
  
I cried out as the belt hit me again. Kevin had switched to the side with the buckle. I felt the cold metal tear flesh from my back. It sickened me to see a small pool of dark red blood around me. My blood.  
  
"Say you'll never do that again, kid!"  
  
The belt hit me again. I shut my eyes tight, trying to put Soda's face in my mind. I couldn't. I opened my eyes again quickly when the image of Kevin appeared behind my eyelids instead.  
  
I took a deep breath, knowing I'd get it worse for what I was about to do.  
  
"Go to hell, you bastard," I said, with the last of my strength. (A/N: sorry I know Pony wouldn't swear like that, but I can't think of any other insult!!! If any of you guys have a better idea, I'll change it later. Thnx.) I knew Darry would probably skin me alive for using language like that, but I had never met a person that so accurately fitted that description.  
  
"So it's gonna be that way, is it, kid?" Kevin said in a dangerous voice.  
  
Please, I prayed. Anybody. . . somebody. . . help me!  
  
I knew my prayer wouldn't be answered. Our closest neighbors lived miles away from us.  
  
The belt fell again and again. . . my world turned into a burning, red haze. . .  
  
Finally, the merciful darkness closed in on me, and I lost consciousness.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
I woke up the next morning wondering briefly why I felt so unhappy. Tears came to my eyes as I remembered what had happened with Sandy. I put my head under the pillow, blocking out the rest of the world.  
  
I head the door open a few minutes later, and Darry walked in and sat down on my bed. He put a hand on my back.  
  
"You gonna get up, Pepsi-cola?" he asked softly.  
  
"I don't want to," I said miserable. Darry just sighed.  
  
"Okay. I'll call you in sick."  
  
I was surprised that Darry had given in so easily.  
  
"You okay, little buddy?"  
  
I nodded wordlessly. I wasn't, and Darry knew it. The question was merely rheorretical (A/N: spelling??).  
  
He sat with me for a while, and then got up and went out to the living room. I heard him on the phone seconds later, calling me in sick.  
  
Then the front door opened with a loud crash. It was the gang. I sighed. I really didn't want to face them at that moment.  
  
"Mornin' Dar!" I heard Two-bit shout. "Where's Soda?"  
  
I felt a rush of gratitude as I heard Darry reply, "He's sleeping in. Don't disturb him."  
  
"Is he okay?" I heard Steve ask. There was silence.  
  
"He will be," said Darry after a while.  
  
"I'm goin' in to see him," said Steve. I heard footsteps approach and then my door opened.  
  
"Steve?" I asked softly.  
  
"It's me."  
  
I lifted my head up from under the pillow, and Steve sat down on the side of my bed.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
I really didn't want to go through it all again, but Steve was my best friend. I took a deep breath.  
  
"I proposed to Sandy yesterday," I began. I was grateful when Steve didn't interrupt. "She said. . ." I swallowed. "She said no."  
  
Steve jumped up angrily.  
  
"What?" he shouted. "She said no? Man am I gonna go crack her head. . ."  
  
"Steve," I interrupted painfully. "She's in Florida. And she's not coming back."  
  
I started bawling again. Steve sat back down on my bed, awkwardly giving me a hug. I understood; Steve had never been the comforting type.  
  
After a while, I heard everyone else come in too. They stopped at the sight of us.  
  
"What's wrong, Soda?" asked Johnny finally.  
  
"Okay everyone," said Darry, coming up. "Out. Leave him alone. He'll explain later."  
  
He herded everyone out except Steve.  
  
"You'd better get to work, Steve," I said quietly. "It's almost time."  
  
He looked at me. "Will you be okay alone?"  
  
I nodded tiredly. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." I sounded like Pony talking to Darry. I felt like bawling again as I thought of Pony, but I hid my tears from Steve, putting my head on the pillow again.  
  
"Go to work, Steve," I mumbled. After a moment, Steve got up.  
  
"I'd better get going then. Call me if you need me, okay?"  
  
I nodded, and he walked out of the room.  
  
I lay there in my bed for a while after everyone left for work or school. Memories of times in my life with Sandy flashed through my head. . . the first time I saw her. . . the first time we watched a movie together. . . the first kiss we shared. . .  
  
I jumped off my bed. It was no use moping around. The silence in my room wasn't helping. It was even easier to slip back into daydreams of Sandy.  
  
I got out of the house, not knowing where I was going. I walked blindly for a while, lost in my thoughts. Suddenly, I looked up. I found myself in the park.  
  
Sitting down on a bench. I could faintly smell the sweet scent of roses. I sighed. Sandy always smelt like roses. I closed my eyes, breathing in the aroma, allowing myself to think of her one last time. I smiled softly as I pictured her long, thick eyelashes, like a veil, partially covering her sparkling crystal blue eyes . . . 


	12. A visit from a social worker

Firstly, thanks to everyone who reviewed!  
  
Killslay: thanks for the spelling thing! I'll change it when I have time. . . thanks for your great review!  
  
Lin: omigod I'm on your favorites list??? THAANK YOOOUUUU!!!  
  
Mary: thanks so much for your review! I'm glad u found my story! Hm. . . I considered your idea about Kevin and Pony, but I don't read slash that much so I'm not sure I could write it. . . but it was a great idea! :o) I hope I put enough info about Kevin in the last few chapters!~*  
  
MissLKid: I know!!! He'd better get back home. . . heehee I'm not telling!!! *sticks tongue out*  
  
Aaliyah-Charity: lol mi ass is back on the computer finally! Thanks for telling me where they are!!!  
  
Maxwell de Charenton: lol I'm turning you into a sadist? Teeheehee~ evil moi*  
  
Porcelain Princess: heehee~ more ponyboy pov is coming up! I like writing in his pov best! :o)  
  
A huge thanks to Latinagal, CrazeLilDreamer, darkdestiney2000, piewolvesandsuch, ponyboysgirl, True-Slytherin-gurl, DBZ gal too!  
  
A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated for such a long time! I'm in summer school and we have sooooooo much homework- it's totally insane. . . *groanz* ah well. Since I'm already complaining, I'll go on just for fun~ and then I've had MAJOR writer's block~ waaahhhh. . . hehe. Am I boring you guys yet?  
  
Okay okay. . .  
  
I'm trying! Erm. . . erm. . . erm. . . *poises pen over blank paper* I'm TRYING!!  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I groaned softly as I came into consciousness. My body ached all over, and my eyelids felt like heavy weights. I felt like I had walked in front of and crashed into a Mustang going at full speed. I wanted to pass out again, but I fought the darkness that was threatening to close in on me and painfully opened my eyes.  
  
I was lying on the cold wooden floor of the living room. The floorboards were stained a rusty reddish-brown from my blood. I felt stiff all over from lying on the hard ground. I tried to sit up, but collapsed back on the floor again with a hiss of pain.  
  
Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching. Fear raced through me. I knew who it was. I struggled unsuccessfully to rise again. Tears leaked out of my eyes at my failure to get away.  
  
"Finally awake kid?" said a hard voice near me. A callused hand grabbed my arm, forcing me up. I gave another cry of pain as some of the wounds in my back started bleeding again because of the sudden jerk.  
  
The world spun and I swayed a little dizzily. I would have undoubtedly fallen back on the ground again if Kevin's hands weren't gripping my arms tightly. Kevin. I started trembling, using the last of my strength to fight off his hands. He cuffed me hard on the head and I stopped, my head exploding in pain.  
  
Kevin leaned down, putting his head in front of mine. His black, cold eyes looking into mine menacingly.  
  
"A social worker is supposed to come in and check up on you today. If you tell her anything. . ."  
  
He let go of one of my arms and put his fist in my face threateningly. I wondered why he thought I would tell anyone. I mean, I knew I should, but what was the point of upsetting my brothers? They already had enough problems to deal with anyway. The fact that Kevin was worried about me telling people about what happened almost wanted to start laughing, but fear of Kevin made the urge to express any amusement disintegrate.  
  
"Well?" he snarled.  
  
"I won't say anything," I said, inwardly cursing my voice for wobbling. Kevin looked a little suspicious at my immediate assent.  
  
"You better not, or you know what you'll get," he scowled after a moment's silence. "The social worker's coming in an hour. Clean yourself up and tidy up this dump."  
  
He let go of me so abruptly that I almost fell, and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed onto the edge of the couch to keep my balance, putting a hand to my temple to ease its throbbing.  
  
I took a few slow, cautious steps away from the couch, relieved that I didn't fall over. The room was still sliding a little in and out of focus and my head was pounding. I could feel warm blood trickling down my back, which was stinging painfully.  
  
I found the bathroom and collapsed down on the white floor, staining some tiles with my blood.  
  
I put the back of my hand to my forehead, which felt unnaturally hot. Great, I thought miserably. And I'm sick on top of all this.  
  
Struggling up, I turned the shower on, waiting for the water to get warm. I got into the tub, hissing in pain as the water made my back burn. I gingerly cleaned up and got out of the tub, wincing as I wrapped a towel around myself.  
  
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and sighed. I looked a total mess. There were no visible signs of any injuries on my face, because Kevin had never exactly punched me in the eye or anything, but my arms and body were covered with cuts and bruises, and my back had about ten long, deep welts. Blood was still trickling out of some of them, and I turned away quickly, not wanting to see more.  
  
I put on a dark colored T-shirt so that, even if one of the wounds opened up again, the bleeding wouldn't be so obvious. I quickly slipped on a pair of jeans and walked out of the bathroom.  
  
I was still feeling slightly lightheaded from the pain, and I leaned onto the wall for a second, resting my head on the cool surface, hoping the dizziness would pass. It got a little better after a while and I continued walking back into the living room.  
  
I stopped as I saw Kevin standing in the middle of the living room, his hands folded across his chest. The living room was spotless, showing no evidence of what had happened the night before.  
  
"I told you to clean up the fucking living room, kid," growled Kevin angrily. "What the hell were you doing? God- do I have to do EVERYTHING myself, you good-for-nothing. . ."  
  
He stopped as the doorbell rang.  
  
"Siddown," said Kevin, shoving me down onto the couch. He towered over me, glaring down at me. "And don't forget our little 'chat'."  
  
He walked over to the door and opened it. A woman in a white blouse and black pants was standing on the front steps. Her graying hair was pulled into a tight bun and a shiny brown handbag was slung over her shoulder. She gave Kevin a wide, fake smile, and he returned it, letting her in.  
  
She paused at the threshold, looking around critically. I saw Kevin tense up a little, but he relaxed as she gave another smile to indicate that the room had passed her examination, and walked in.  
  
"Hello Ponyboy," she said, seeing me sitting on the couch.  
  
"Hi," I replied, hoping she didn't notice anything was wrong.  
  
"Well, I'm supposed to talk privately to Ponyboy, so could you please leave the room for a few minutes?" the social worker asked, looking up at Kevin.  
  
"Of course," said Kevin. His voice sounded strange to me because of its lack of menace. He shot me a warning glare that the social worker missed, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
  
I relaxed a little as I saw Kevin leave the room. The social worker turned toward me, flashing me another large, toothy smile.  
  
"So, Ponyboy, how is your new foster home?"  
  
"It's okay," I replied. I couldn't bring myself to sing praises about it.  
  
She looked a little annoyed at my lack of enthusiasm, but continued. "And how do you like your foster parent?"  
  
"He's nice," I replied shortly, forcing the words out of my mouth. I crossed my fingers behind my back. I knew it was babyish, but it was strangely satisfying; it was the only way I felt like I could defy Kevin.  
  
"That's nice," she said, opening her handbag and scribbling some notes down on a black book with a ball-pen.  
  
She asked me a couple more questions about how I liked it in my new school, and whether I had made friends, et cetera. I mostly lied, telling her stuff I knew she would want to hear. At last, she was done.  
  
"Sounds like everything here is going on just fine," she said, getting up. "If you need any help, just call this number." She dug around in her handbag, and gave me a small white business card with her name and number on it.  
  
"But remember, I'm a very busy person, so please don't call me unless it is an emergency." She gave me a look that indicated she didn't want any calls from me whatsoever.  
  
I nodded, not surprised. I didn't expect any social worker to care about what happened to me.  
  
"Well," she continued, "I'm going to have a quick little talk with your foster father. Stay right here."  
  
She quickly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. Moments later, I heard her voice and Kevin's. Normally, I would have gone up to the door to eavesdrop, but I knew I wasn't exactly up to running back to the couch if the door unexpectedly opened.  
  
I leaned back on the couch, closing my eyes. I felt safe, because I knew that Kevin couldn't come into the room and hit me or anything- not with the social worker there. I smiled, content with the small luxury of the cushions on the couch after a night spent on the floor. My head sank back onto a cushion and I fell asleep, lulled into slumber by the comfort surrounding me and feeling of protection from Kevin . . .  
  
Sorry- that chapter sucked majorly- I know. That chapter took me forever to write and I'm half asleep cuz we had like, three tests yesterday and I was up till like, 3:45am studying~ and I don't have the book with me so don't yell at me if I made mistakes- although I wouldn't really need it for this chapter- ah well. Just another pathetic excuse for this lame chapter.  
  
Yup I repeat that it sucked- but please review??? Pretty pretty pretty please please please??? 


	13. Only two more days!

Firstly, thanks to all you awesome reviewers!  
  
David: heehee ur first! Just cuz I feel like being nice today. thanks for ur review!! And u can feel special cuz I have soo much hw and I'm only updating cuz u asked me to like, 10 seconds ago. . . lol.  
  
Soda-Fan2603: chills? Teeheehee~ thanks for your review! Sorry I haven't updated for such a long time!  
  
Sarah7777: it didn't suck? *smilez* thanks!  
  
Mandy aka Uni: thanks so much! I got a yahoo passport and joined!!  
  
Killslay: yea~ the social worker's a maayjor bee-yatch! Hehe. cool- you're reading les miserables? Hehe. okay this is sad but I am soo crzy about that song 'a heart full of love' in the broadway version of it! omigod it's SUCH a good song!!! You don't need to tell me that I'm a sad person!  
  
MarLyG: thanks for your encouragement! And your great review!  
  
Pony's girl: hehe I still haven't decided what to do with Pony! Aargh~ I do have this REALLY cute scene planned when Darry and soda find out about Kevin! I can't wait to write it!!!  
  
Lin: thanks so much for your review!!! I'll try to update faster next time! But- no promises! Sorry- I have soo much hw nowadays! Ah well. High school sucks.  
  
Porcelain Princess: say's reeaaally quietly "it was a good chapter and I'm a good writer" with u~ hehe. lol! Thankz for your review!!!!!  
  
Lizzy Halliwell: thanks for your review! I'm glad u didn't think the last chapter sucked! :o)  
  
Latinagal: yup 'great' IS better than 'good'! thanks for using it to describe my story!!! And thanks for your great review!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING!!! *sigh*  
  
A/N: by the way, just saying~ this is going to be another pointless chapter where nothing really happens. . . SORRY!! I can't help it! I can't really think of what else will happen before pony gets home. Ideas are welcome!  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
"Hey, Soda!"  
  
I jumped slightly as a voice abruptly brought me out of my daydream. I looked around for the source of the interruption and found myself face to face with Steve.  
  
"What've you been doing all day?" Steve asked. "I've been looking for you."  
  
"What time is it?" I asked, checking my watch and answering my own question. "Glory, I didn't know I've been sitting here so long."  
  
"C'mon, let's get home before Darry finds out you've been sittin' here in the cold all day." He grabbed my arm, pulling me off the bench, ignoring my protests.  
  
"I'm not cold!"  
  
Steve grinned. "I swear, Soda, you're like a six year old kid sometimes."  
  
He ducked my swing, as I knew he would, and I shot out my other fist, giving him a playful punch in the nose.  
  
I jumped backwards as Steve laughed and tried to hit me back, and started running back home. Steve gave chase.  
  
"CHIIIIICKEN!!!!" he shouted, making a series of high, squawking chicken noises.  
  
"Can't catch me, Randle!" I yelled back over my shoulder.  
  
I closed my eyes as I ran, trying to banish the image of Sandy from my head. I could feel the wind whipping past my face and Steve's hooting catcalls behind me. I blocked everything out and just ran as fast as I could, trying to get away from the misery and pain of my heartache.  
  
Suddenly, something solid collided into me hard, knocking the air out of me. I was knocked out of my path and toppled to the cement ground.  
  
The tumble broke my concentration and I opened my eyes, wincing a little in pain as I examined my scraped knees and elbows. I looked around, annoyed, to see who had bumped into me.  
  
Somebody from behind me hauled me roughly up to my feet, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me hard.  
  
"What the fuck are you playing at, Sodapop?" Steve yelled. His hair was messed up from the fall and a small trickle of blood, starting from his forehead, was trickling down his face. "Are you trying to get us both fucking killed?" Steve shouted, giving me another shake.  
  
"W-what?" I still wasn't sure what had happened. I heard a car door behind us open and then slam shut.  
  
"You no good hoods!" came an angry man's voice. We both spun around. A short, pudgy man shook a stubby, fat finger at me.  
  
"Kids nowadays. Trying to get me into trouble!" his face was red with anger. "running into my car- if you want to kill yourselves next time, don't involve me!" he broke off into annoyed muttering and we caught words like "juvenile delinquents", "good-for-nothings", "dishonest", "lying, thieving, stealing". . .  
  
Steve stepped forward, giving the man a rough shove in the chest. He stumbled backwards, his rant stopping abruptly. He stared up wide-eyed at a furious Steve. Steve leaned down, putting his face right in front of the man's. their noses were almost touching. The man tried to back away, but found himself trapped between Steve and his car.  
  
"Get back into your fucking car," Steve hissed, "and carry on with your fucking pathetic life, and don't you ever fucking dare to insult me or my friend here, or--"  
  
He grabbed a handful of the man's shirt and raised a clenched fist threateningly.  
  
Feeling that things had already gone too far, I quickly took Steve's arm, lowering his fist, which was so tightly clenched it was shaking.  
  
"Steve," I tried. "Let the guy go."  
  
He turned to glare at me, but released the man's shirt. Once free, the man ran back as fast as his fat legs could carry him.  
  
We watched silently as he quickly started up his car and drove off. Steve swore angrily.  
  
"Why the hell did you stop me, Soda?" he growled. "I wanted to stomp that bastard's ass-"  
  
"Which wouldn't have improved the situation at all," I finished off for him. Steve redirected his anger to me.  
  
"And what the hell were you doing, Sodapop?"  
  
"What? I still don't know what happened!" I said, a little bewildered.  
  
Steve looked at me disbelievingly for a second. Then, he sighed. "You ran straight into the road and that car almost fucking crashed into you." Steve paused.  
  
"I dunno," I said uncomfortable. "I had my eyes closed. Anyway, thanks for saving me."  
  
Steve raked a hand through his hair in frustration. "You had your eyes closed? Look man, you don't need to go around trying to kill yourself just because of the sneaking broad-"  
  
He stopped, sighing, as he saw my hurt expression. "Let's get you home," Steve finished off in a slightly gentler tone. He started walking, and I followed him.  
  
We were both silent for a while.  
  
"Hey, Soda," said Steve suddenly, looking at me uncomfortably. "I'm sorry for calling Sandy a . . ."  
  
I swallowed the lump in my throat that had appeared when Steve said her name.  
  
"It's okay." I looked down at my shoes.  
  
There was another long silence. I knew Steve was waiting for me to talk. That was the thing I liked best about him. I know he seemed bitter and hard- with the life he had to live, who wouldn't? But, I knew he had a good side- a gentler side. He rarely showed it, and only to people he really knew.  
  
"I don't know," I started miserably. "she wasn't just any girl, y'know?" I sighed. "There was something about her . . ." I stopped, at a loss for words. Steve didn't say anything.  
  
"I just can't stop lovin' her," I said, so softly that I wasn't sure Steve had even heard me.  
  
"Why don't you just give her a call?" said Steve after a pause. I shook my head.  
  
"She doesn't want to marry me. She made that part clear enough. I've gotta respect her wishes."  
  
We reached my house. I saw Steve open his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, the front door opened.  
  
We both looked up. It was Dally.  
  
"Hey," he said lazily, flicking a cigarette out of his back pocket and lighting it.  
  
"Hey Dally," Steve said. "Where'r you going?"  
  
"Drive-in. You two want to come along?"  
  
I started to say no, but Steve interrupted me.  
  
"Sure. We'll come. Right, Soda?"  
  
I sighed. "Okay."  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
The rest of the month passed in a blur. Sometimes the hours seemed to fly by, and other days, the seconds seemed to drag by gradually.  
  
Social workers came and went, all of them cold and uncaring. I didn't mind; I had given up hope that a social worker would come and save me from Kevin's hold. The only thing that sustained me through his constant beatings and mistreatment was the thought that, soon, very soon, I would be back in Tulsa with Soda, Darry and the gang.  
  
I almost didn't care anymore. I didn't even cry anymore. There were no more tears left to shed. They had run dry weeks ago. I had learned to hold in the tears, the wails of anguish. Kevin's beatings were always much worse when I showed pain.  
  
I wasn't sure if I even remembered how to cry. Greasers didn't cry. Most had forgotten how to. Was I now a greaser? Did that quality make me a true one? I hardly knew who I was anymore, or who I wanted to be. Sunsets and the many joys and beauty of Nature were now strangers to me.  
  
I went through each day mechanically, telling myself that each second brought me nearer to my brothers. I didn't think of what would happen if the state didn't let me return to Tulsa; I just couldn't. I wouldn't be able to take it if I wasn't allowed back.  
  
Sighing tiredly, I marked off another day on a small, cheap calendar I had bought. Only two more days. . .  
  
PLEEAAASE review!!! Pwweeez? I'm not updating until I get. . . hm. . . let's see. . . 15 reviews.  
  
REVIEW! 


	14. Almost back! emphasizing the 'almost'

Hey everyone~  
  
Erm. . . I just added a few paragraphs to this chappie so plz read again! Sowee! It will make the next chapter make more sense. Thanks!  
  
Litzy.  
  
YAY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I FINALLY HIT 100 REVIEWS! Well, 104 to be exact. I'M SOOO HAPPY!!! YOU GUYS ARE SOO GREAT. THAANK YOOOUUU!!!  
  
Killslay: Oh wow- thanks for the quote. I've gotta try reading Le Mis. I'm reading "The Grapes of Wrath"- John Steinbeck right now and it's one of the most boring books I've read in my entire life!!! Hehe. Good luck on your book!  
  
As for the questions: they'll all be answered in the next chapter!! I was going to let Pony go back to Tulsa in this chappie, but. . . one idea led to another, and the chapter got too long to allow that! :o)  
  
Maxwell de Charenton: You're welcome! I absolutely LOVE angst as well! (as you can tell!) and yup, Ponyboy's my fave character too!  
  
Anon: thanks for your review!  
  
Latinagal: OMIGOD!!! I'M ON YOUR FAVORITE'S LIST??? You are soo nice! Thank you so much!  
  
Leese: hehe thanks for the compliment!  
  
David: humph you meannie. I'm not weird! You're weird, you obsessed with pie person!! Lol I can't believe you still haven't asked me which "Kevin" in HKIS "Kevin Skinner" is named after! Come on guess! Lol. And thanks for your reviews!  
  
Lizzy Haliwell: lol! Soweee~ I promise this chappie will be a leetle bit longer to make up for it!  
  
Two-BitGortez: that's okay- I totally understand! I have to fight tooth and claw for computer time with my sister and my mom! Hehe. Thanks for your great review!  
  
Naria4: aw thanks for offering to review every chapter! That was really sweet of you :o) but you don't have to if you don't have spare time =D  
  
Porcelain Princess: thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lin3: thanks! Yup, I finally updated! Sorry for the long wait- I was really busy, you know~ evil teachers plus school = lots and lots of homework for poor students like me!  
  
Pony's girl: thanks for your awesome review!  
  
A/N: sorry if this chapter is weird. Consider it the result of a major headache and writing on the schoolbus! Oh and add 'in the sweltering heat' to it. (the a/c was broken! Stupid school buses.)  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
It was almost over. I couldn't believe it. one more night, on more day, and I'd be back in Tulsa.  
  
I looked out of the window for the first time in a long while. Outside, in the crisp night air, I spotted the first bright star, high in the sky. I watched it twinkling silently, a small spark of light in the expanse of inky black.  
  
* * * "Go ahead, Pony," Mom said, holding my hand. "Wish upon a star."  
  
I looked up at her. "If I wish, will it come true?"  
  
Dad smiled down at me. "Of course it will, Pony. Star-wishes always come true.  
  
* * *  
I closed my eyes at the sudden memory, startled at the pricking behind my eyelids. A single tear escaped form my closed eyes, making its slow journey down my cheek. I wiped it away with a finger, rubbing my eyes. I swallowed down my sobs, opening my eyes. I looked up at the star again. Other stars had joined it by now, but I still easily recognized mine. I sighed. Why not?  
  
"Starlight, starbright,  
  
First star I see tonight,  
  
I wish I may, I wish I might,  
  
Have the wish I wish tonight."  
  
I paused, thinking.  
  
"I wish everything could get better," I whispered out to the night sky.  
  
I walked across the room a little painfully, stopping for a second to put a hand on the desk for support as a sudden wave of dizziness threatened to make me lose balance. I had an almost constant headache nowadays, partly from worry and also from missing my brothers and the gang. I missed them so much it seemed like a constant aching pain, pressing down on my chest.  
  
I switched off the light, as always leaving the small table lamp on. Getting into the narrow, hard bed, I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come.  
  
* * *  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KID?"  
  
My eyes snapped open immediately as I recognized the voice. I was covered in cold sweat and shivering, and the blankets were all tangled around me. I was still trembling from another nightmare I had, the ones I could never remember. I vaguely wondered why Kevin had woken up. After learning the hard way several times, I had learned to wake up from my regular nightmares in silence.  
  
The answer didn't matter. I knew I was in for it.  
  
I looked up, shrinking away from the large, menacing man towering over me.  
  
"You wanta scream the whole fucking house down?" yelled Kevin. His face was red and I could see a vein in his neck throbbing. He reached out and grabbed me, shaking me hard.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"S- sorry," I managed, my voice hoarse from screaming. Kevin smiled dangerously.  
  
"You should be."  
  
With that, he pulled me out of bed, and I landed with a bump on the cold, hard floor.  
  
"You think this is over?" laughed Kevin manically. "You think you're escaping soon? I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget."  
  
He gave me a punch on the nose, and I immediately felt warm blood trickling down my face.  
  
I was about to succumb to his blows as usual, when I suddenly thought of Soda. I was going to him soon. I wouldn't have to put up with Kevin any longer. I started struggling against him.  
  
"No. . ."  
  
Kevin stopped, putting his face near mine.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
His hand wrapped around my neck, choking me.  
  
"Say that again, kid!"  
  
I felt my feet leave the floor as he lifted me up. They kicked around weakly in the air. My hands flailed around, trying to get him to release his firm hold. His fingers tightened. I struggled harder.  
  
My vision was turning black, and I was beginning to see white stars. I struggled to take a breath. I could dimly hear Kevin's voice shouting at me in the background. I felt weak all over.  
  
Suddenly I realized that the hand blocking my windpipe was gone. I was lying crumpled on the floor. I took deep, gasping, much-needed breaths, ignoring the pain shooting through my throat as I did so.  
  
A hand grabbed the back of my shirt, forcing me to my feet. I swayed dizzily, trying to get my bearings.  
  
"Fuck you," came Kevin's voice through the haze. "You think you can die on me, kid? You fucking trying to get me in trouble?"  
  
I scrambled away from the voice, but Kevin grabbed my arm, stopping me.  
  
"Huh? Where you tryin' to go to? you can't escape! No one's coming to save you. Nobody. Nobody loves you. You got that? Nobody."  
  
He gave me another shake. I felt lears leaking out of my eyes. His fist hit the side of my head.  
  
"Don't you dare cry. You're fucking weak. You hear me? Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you, you worthless piece of shit."  
  
"Somebody loves me," I whispered, almost to myself.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Somebody loves me," I repeated louder, strengthened by the thought of my brothers.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Then how come nobody's coming to save you? How come? They don't really want you. They sent you here to get rid of you, 'cos you're a fucking burden."  
  
He grabbed my hair, pulling me with him out into the corridor.  
  
The first blow knocked me back to the ground. I fell face-down, tasting blood in my mouth. I struggled for air, wincing as my bloody nose was smothered into the carpet.  
  
I heard Kevin swearing something over me, and then fell back into my blazing world of pain as the first lash of the belt came down on my back. . .  
  
* * *  
  
I came back to consciousness, keeping my eyes cloed as I sharpened my hearing, trying to figure out whether my foster parent was anywhere near. I heard footsteps passing near me, and then the front door opened and closed.  
  
I lay still for a while, making sure Kevin had left. I cautiously opened my eyes. There was nobody in the house.  
  
I sat up slowly, wincing and holding my head in my hands as I experienced another bout of dizziness. My forehead was unnaturally warm again. I sighed. I had been sick on and off for a while, but I really hadn't wanted to get back to Tulsa with a fever.  
  
Trying hard to ignore the pain shooting through my body, I stood up, making my way to the bathroom. I was mildly surprised that I could actually walk.  
  
I looked into the mirror, startling myself as I saw a thin, miserable- looking boy covered in blood, staring back at me. wanting to make the boy feel better, I tried giving him a smile. The boy gave me a weak grin back.  
  
I headed to the bathtub, sickened as I saw the trail of black blood I had left on the clean, white tiles.  
  
I filled the tub with lukewarm water and sat on the side of it patiently as I waited for it to fill up.  
  
I got in gingerly, stifling a small yelp of pain as the water burned the open wounds.  
  
The water turned a deep red as I sank into the tub and I closed my eyes, grimacing as I tried to deal with the pain. My thoughts felt as though they were swirling around in my head.  
  
Kevin was right. I was worthless. Totally weak. No wonder why none of the gang came to see how I was doing. Darry and Soda must have been happy to see me go. Why would they want to put up with something like me?  
  
The tears threatened to spill, but I fiercely willed them away. What was I thinking? Of course Darry and Soda loved me. At least, I knew Soda loved me. Darry. . . he kinda looks like Kevin. I shuddered at the unexpected thought.  
  
I toweled myself dry slowly, and put on a dark, long sleeve shirt, glad that the chilly weather permitted me to do so. It hid the dark fingermarks around my neck, and the bruises along my arms, and the deep wounds across my back. I knew there were more, but I really didn't want to know.  
  
Checking the time, I found out that it was only five hours until my plane flight. Limping over to the bed, I sank into it, exhausted, and immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.  
  
Please review, everyone! This time I'm asking for 20 reviews!!! Pleeeaaaase?? Pweazyyy? LoL. I've got the rest of the story planned out already, so I can update REAALLY fast! That is, after I get reviews!!!!!! Teeheehee~ this is bad. I'm addicted! 


	15. Return to Tulsa

Whoa~ you guys are absolutely AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *grinz* 22 reviews!!!! Whoooooooo!!!!!!!  
  
Okiez firstly: thank you all for reviewing!  
  
Killslay: I luv the scene with Pony wishing on the star too! Thanks so much for your review. The state's only allowing pony to get back for a short time to wait for the trial; those evil meannies wouldn't give Darry custody again so soon! But they're gunna be forced to when Darry yells at them (when he finds out what happened to Pony)- but that's in the next chappies.  
  
David: lol you dummiee! Kevin. . . Kevin. . . come on! How hard is it?? lol. Well, obviously Kevin Ho and Kevin Wu *snarlz* absolute total fucking bastards!!!!!!!!!! Sorry~ had to swear. The mere thought of them makes me sooo angry!!!! It was like reading the real book?? Thanks!!!! :o)  
  
Amanda: aaw~ I'm sorry- I made you cry? *hands over a tissue* :o) thanks for your review!  
  
Pinkdaisy_01: hey! Thanks for your review!  
  
Battosai Yuriko: whoa! Three reviews! You rock! 'bibi' means 'bye bye', but I was too lazy to type the whole thing out~ lol! Sorry if that confused you. Thanks so much for the long reviews! Oh yea! Dally WAS Dillon in the movie! Lol I totally forgot. Thanks for bringing that up. Lol- *agrees and helps choke ms. vide*  
  
Squid-holes: yup- I'm finally updating! Sorry for the long wait~  
  
Wanda: heehee~ us fans of pony-torture!!! *evil grin*  
  
Latinagal: hehe. yup- we all hate Kevin. Only 5 more hours!!!  
  
Porcelain Princess: I'm glad Pony's getting away from him toooo!!! Hehe. evil Kevin. Thanks for your review!  
  
Joce: lol don't worry- I'm not that mean! Nah- he's not gonna miss his flight. :o)  
  
Anon: thanks for your review!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: *agrees and hugglez pony too* heehee!  
  
Maddy RAdd: yup I did! Thanks for helping!  
  
Lis: thanks for the compliments *blush* and for emailing me! it was so nice of you!  
  
Hana Chino: ooh! I'm on your favorite's!!! thanks sooo much! And thanks for the review!!!  
  
Lisa: lol- I tend to use the same letter all over again too- I'm so bored, I'm so bored, I'm so boooooooooored~ lol! Sorry~ that's what I've written that soo many times this year - biology class is SO boring!!!!!!! Thanks for your review!  
  
Trinity star and Her Muses: lol. Again, sorry for the wait~ here's the next chappie!  
  
Two-BitGortez: thanks for luvin the story! U make me so happie!~ hehe.  
  
Kurupt-emocions: oh yea! I totally forgot about Johnny!!! Thanks for the reminder!  
  
Lin3: hey! Thanks for your review~ omigod! That guy's called Kevin too? Hehe. it seems like all the kevins I know are idiots. He called u an asshole?? What a BASTARD!!!!!! LOL that wuz brave of you to say that to him! Heehee~  
  
Lillia: ooh!! Two reviews!!! :o) thanks so much! I was almost going to give up on this story because of MAJOR writer's block and absolutely NO free time, but I those questions you asked really helped me finish this chappie off!! =D  
  
A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated so long!! sorry! I was going to- I swear! But, with the ever-increasing homework load, and my recent OBSESSION with lord of the rings. . . *aragorn and legolas- aaahhhh hottieeeeezz!!!* lol. I really haven't had that much time. . .  
  
Well, without much ado, I present . . . (sorry- my stoopid world cultures teacher keeps saying that and it kinda rubbed off on me! LOL)  
  
Chapter 15:  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
My eyes opened and I jumped slightly as I heard the front door slam closed. Kevin was home. I sat up abruptly, wincing as the movement made my injured body ache and my back sting fiercely.  
  
"Where the fuck are you kid?" Kevin shouted from the living room. I shrank away from him involuntarily as the door to my room opened and he walked in. Not for the first time, I cursed myself inwardly for my weakness.  
  
"Start packing. I have to drive you to the airport in an hour and you'd better not be late. Damn social workers are gonna be there."  
  
I nodded, getting off the bed as fast as my injured body allowed me to. Instead of leaving, Kevin stood where he was, his hands on his hips, as he watched me move around the room, trying to put myself as far away from him as possible. My hands shook a little as I reached over to the desk he was standing near to put a small hardcover book into my suitcase.  
  
A small smile played along his lips.  
  
"Scared?" he mocked, smirking at me. Although I was trembling inside, I lifted my chin up to meet his eyes. I would not let him win this final battle. We stared at each other steadily for a few minutes. Kevin's mouth tightened into a thin, hard line and he held a fist up to my face.  
  
"You really askin' for it, kid," he threatened. I kept my eyes on his, not letting him force me to look away. I knew he couldn't strike me. We were going to the airport soon and we both knew he couldn't risk hitting me again.  
  
Kevin gave me one last glare and strode out of the small room, slamming the door behind him. Finally alone, I sat down shakily on the bed, succumbing to the weakness I never let him see.  
  
"Hurry the hell up," Kevin shouted from outside. I sighed, getting off the bed. I moved around the room slowly, putting the few possessions I had brought with me into the suitcase.  
  
* * *  
  
There was a social worker waiting for us outside the airport. Kevin grabbed my suitcase, smiling and shaking her hand.  
  
We walked into the airport, the social worker leading the way. I trailed behind Kevin and her, happy that his attention wasn't on me.  
  
They stopped outside the boarding gate.  
  
"I'm gonna miss ya, kid," said Kevin, reaching over to mess up my hair, a show of affection for the benefit of the social worker. I flinched away from his hand. He narrowed his eyes at me, glancing to see if the social worker had noticed my reaction. She hadn't.  
  
"What a pity you only had a month to get to know each other," she said, smiling broadly. "Remember Ponyboy- the trial's in a week. With any luck you could be living with Kevin again."  
  
I forced a smile, and turned to leave. I walked away from them, not looking back. I knew I should have felt ecstatic at finally escaping Kevin's clutches, but instead I just didn't feel anything. I got into the plane. This time I was early. It was almost empty. I found my seat and sat down. It was a window seat again. I looked out of the window disinterestedly, absently watching people outside scurrying around. I looked up at the sky, finding it an ugly gray-black hue. Sighing, I pulled the plastic cover over the window, blocking out the view.  
  
I rested my head on the back of the chair, closing my eyes.  
  
* * *  
  
When I next awoke, the plane was in the air and there was an old lady sitting next to me. She scowled at me when she saw my gaze on her, turning back to her knitting. I closed my eyes again, trying to block out my headache.  
  
The plane ride seemed to last forever. I kept my eyes trained on the small clock on the wall of the plane. The second hand crawled by frustratingly slowly.  
  
I tried to think of my brothers and the gang waiting for me in Tulsa. For some reason, they didn't bring a smile to my lips. They all wanted to get rid of me. . . they wouldn't be happy to see me . . . Nobody loves me. . .  
  
The thoughts kept swirling around and around in my head, making it throb painfully. No! It wasn't true. Soda loved me. He had to. I knew he did. Content with that one comforting thought, I fell back into a dreamless sleep.  
  
The sound of a woman's voice on a speaker woke me up again.  
  
"Welcome to Tulsa. It is half past seven at night. It's a little chilly, about 16 degrees Celsius. We hope you enjoy your stay. Thank you for flying with Tulsa Air."  
  
Everyone buckled their seatbelts again. I didn't bother to look out of the window to watch the scenery below gradually grow larger as the plane slowly lost altitude. It just didn't seem as interesting as it had before. The plane finally landed with a small bump, and slowed to a halt. People stood up, picking up handbags or backpacks, and filed out of the plane.  
  
I stood up, following the line of people out of the plane.  
  
~*~TWO-BIT'S POV~*~  
  
I couldn't believe how much I had missed the kid. I mean, I had liked him, but I was supposed to be tough. I was a greaser. I just missed the way the kid was always there, even though he never said much. I chuckled to myself, remembering the way I had joked about his and Johnny's friendship. I mean, both of them never said anything. It was interesting how they were both best friends. How did they know each other so well?  
  
I shrugged, leaning back in my seat, earning a shove from Steve, who was squished up next to me.  
  
"Move it, you fat greaser," Steve growled at me, half jokingly.  
  
I shot him back my most charming smile.  
  
"Who are you calling fat, fatso?"  
  
The whole gang was squashed in the back of Darry's truck, except for Dally, who had fought his way to the front seat, and Darry obviously, who was driving us all to the airport.  
  
Soda couldn't stop bouncing up and down in his seat on the other side of Steve.  
  
"We're gonna see Pony! We're gonna see Pony!"  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I chewed on the inside of my lip nervously as I parked the truck near the airport. It had been a month since I'd seen my kid brother. Would he be glad to see me again? Did he blame me for getting sent away?  
  
I had this nagging feeling that I had been pushing away to the back of my head ever since Pony had left to Murray. I didn't know what it was. Just some gut feeling that something bad would happen to Pony. Not the first time, I shook it off. It was just more of my over-protectiveness of my youngest brother. Pony was fine. He had to be.  
  
"Hey, Darry! Are ya getting out or not?"  
  
I jumped a little as a loud voice shouted near me. I looked up, realizing everyone except for me had gotten out of the truck. Shaking my head slightly to clear my thoughts, I opened the door, getting out. We walked into the airport.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I walked through the gate, almost immediately seeing the gang. They looked exactly the same as I had last seen them. My footsteps faltered a little as I walked slowly toward them.  
  
"Pony!" shouted Soda, suddenly seeing me. I saw him break into a run toward me. He gave a huge bear hug, whirling me happily around. He didn't notice my small, sharp intake of breath as his arms accidentally touched some of my bruises and the deep wounds across my back. I closed my eyes, concealing my pain. I had gotten pretty good at it after a month of practice. I let myself relax completely for the first time in a long while, feeling safe in my older brother's arms.  
  
The rest of the gang was jogging over to us. Soda finally let go of me and put me back on the ground. As soon as I was released from Soda's grip, I felt another pair of arms surround me as Darry crushed me to his chest. I tensed unconsciously as he hugged me, momentarily reminded of Kevin.  
  
I sagged in relief as Darry let go of me quickly, looking away.  
  
~*~DALLY'S POV~*~  
  
My eyes narrowed as I watched the kid stiffen in Darry's embrace. Pony didn't seem to catch Darry's hurt look as he looked down at the ground.  
  
We got back into the truck outside the airport.  
  
"Are you guys coming in?" asked Darry as we got near the house.  
  
"Nah," answered Steve. "My old man's gonna kill me if I spend another night outa the house."  
  
"Same," agreed Two-bit. "I'd better sleep in my own bed for a night. My mom's getting upset about me sleeping over all the time."  
  
"Dal? Johnnycakes? What about you guys?" asked Soda, looking over.  
  
"Johnny's staying over at my place tonight," I said, answering for Johnny. I knew he wouldn't open his mouth anyway.  
  
Darry parked the truck again, and we all got out. Darry walked into the house first.  
  
"See you tomorrow!" Soda said, his arm around Pony.  
  
"Hey! Soda," shouted Darry from inside the house. "Your turn to cook!"  
  
Soda rolled his eyes at us, but let go of Pony, running into the house.  
  
"I'm coming!"  
  
Steve left after Soda had gone.  
  
"It's great to have you back, kid," said Two-bit, reaching out to mess up his hair. I watched as Pony flinched away from the hand, his eyes widening a little in terror at Two-bit's words.  
  
He took a step back, away from Two-bit, and then turned and ran into the house, leaving us staring at each other, surprised.  
  
My eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck?  
  
Argh- please excuse this chapter. It was absolute pure torture to write. But review anyway! :o) *puppy dog face* I'm asking for 20 before I update!!!  
  
One note: I'm pretty sure I left a LOT of grammar/spelling mistakes, or weird sentences that don't make sense. . . but I'm really sleepy and I can't be bothered to double check. . . so please excuse them! =D  
  
And I'm sorry- I think I said somewhere before that this was the chapter that the gang finds out about what happened to Pony in Murray, but it's getting late. . . *yawn* and I'm a very lazy person *nod nod* so. . . I'll try and post up the next chappie soon. . . nite night! 


	16. Nightmares, comfort and suspicion

Firstly, thanks to everyone who reviewed!!  
  
Lillia: *grinz* this chappie is dedicated to you! Thanks for your THREE reviews for one chappie!!! (go you!)- they really made me get my lazy butt back onto the computer and start typing! Hehe.  
  
Killslay: thanks so much for your review!!! Hehe- Darry and Soda are gonna find out about what happened to Pony in this chapter~ I'm not sure if I'll have enough time to include the gang, but then- who knows?  
  
Squid-holes: hehe- I feel bad for poor ol' Pone too~ and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Joce: LOL *joins Joce in happy dance* *starts singing with Joce at top of lungs, "PONY GOT AWAY FROM KEVIN! WHOOOO!!!"* *ppl start edging away. . .* hehe!  
  
Pony's girl: thanks for your review. As to your question, Pony's just kinda confused right now, because he also had to put up with Kevin's verbal abuse, telling him how nobody loved him, etc. I'm sorry if I didn't explain that clearly enough in the last chapter!!  
  
Lisa: hey! This must be my fastest to update in a long while! Hehe. thanks for your review!  
  
Lizzy Halliwell: thanks for enjoying it- u make me so happie*~! Hehe.  
  
Porcelain Princess: I WAS going to follow your advice and not wait for 20, but as I was writing this chapter, the 20 just showed up~ hehe. that wuz pretty cool. . .  
  
Amanda: thanks for your review! I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
Latinagal: aw~ thanks for the compliment *blushes*  
  
Trinity Star and her Muses: LOL thanks for the review- it made me laugh!  
  
TwoBit-Gortez: thanks for reviewing!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: hehe- thanks for reviewing too!  
  
Anon: Cliffhanger?? What cliffhanger? *runs back to story and checks endings of all chapters* What cliffhanger?? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
David: LOL thanks for writing that review- your longest ever!! :o) don't worry~ I'll go and review yours later~ hehe. hey, I should write more trial scene- emails to you!! I didn't know they'd make you review so fast! Hehe. *evil, sadistic grin* oh- and I put meeting of the nations, NZ as one of my choices! The others are horseback riding in Australia, and sea-canoeing in Thailand. What are u doing??  
  
Terri: Thanks for luving it!!! hehe. and thank you for reviewing.  
  
Battosai Yuriko: sorry if I spelled your penname wrong!! but I'm kinda rushing right now~ need to study for my stoopid biology test!!! ARGH! Well anyway, thank you soo much for your review! Ooh and I downloaded those songs you mentioned on kazaa! Thanks! I luv 'em now! :o) and best of luck in your fanfiction! I'm sure it's gonna be great.  
  
Sarah7777: hey! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ellina: yup! I'M UPDATING!!! YAY! Hehe.  
  
[ps. I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry if I left anyone out, but as I said somewhere before, I'm in a rush~ once again, SORRY if I left anyone out!!!]  
  
A/N: sorry if this chappie is a li'l confusing; I keep switching around the three Curtis brother's POV's, so PLEASE review and tell me if it didn't quite flow!!!  
  
Oh and also, I've changed my penname from 'litzy bitsy' to 'li'l litzy'! sorry for any confusion, if anyone noticed. This is still the same person. :o)  
  
Chapter 16:  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
My back throbbed constantly, and my whole body ached. I felt freezing cold one second, and then burning hot the other. All I wanted to do was rest.  
  
It was dinner and the smell of food was making me feel like vomiting. I was picking at my chicken, feeling guilty that I wasn't eating that much because I knew Soda had cooked my favorite food on purpose. I tried to block out the pain and nausea by listening to Soda's incessant chatter. I was trying to avoid all questions about Kevin and Murray as much as I could, although Soda questioned me about it more than once.  
  
I stifled another yawn. I was ready to fall asleep right then and there.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I couldn't bring myself to look at my youngest brother throughout dinner. All I could feel was the guilt rushing through me. Pony blamed me. I couldn't stop thinking about the way he had looked away from me at the airport. It was all my fault. I had broken my promise to mom and dad all those years ago. I had let a member of our family get taken away from the state. I hadn't been strong enough, or capable enough of taking care of him. Even now the chances of him staying were slim. The trial was in a week, and the state seemed to be hell-bent on tearing our family apart. I knew that nothing we said or did would change their minds.  
  
I could vaguely hear Soda talking excitedly to Pony, and the occasional quiet sound of Pony's voice, but I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. I heard my name a couple of times, but I just nodded absently.  
  
"Darry, Darry!"  
  
Suddenly, I became aware of someone insistently calling my name, and looked up. Soda looked at me bemusedly.  
  
"You're really out of it today, Dar," he grinned. I just raised an eyebrow, a trick Two-bit had taught the gang to do. Behind Soda, I saw Pony stifle a yawn, one hand coming up to rub his eyes. I almost unconsciously assumed my parent role.  
  
"It's getting late. Ten minutes till lights out."  
  
"Aaww!" Soda complained, bouncing up and down. "Do we haaave to? Pony, you don't want to go to sleep yet, do ya?"  
  
Pony shook his head, at the same time letting out a jaw breaking yawn.  
  
"That's it," I ended the argument. "Get into bed, both of you."  
  
Unable to face Pony any longer, I quickly piled the dirty dishes in the sink (I'd do them tomorrow), and went into my room. I took off my shirt, not bothering to change my jeans, and lay down on my bed, closing my eyes tightly, trying to shut off the guilt.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
Pony had been awful quiet since had gotten back to Tulsa. I mean, he normally didn't say much, but I don't think I had heard him say more than a 'yes' or a 'no', or an occasional soft sentence since I had seen him. I shrugged. Maybe he was just shy after not seeing us for so long. I shook my head. That couldn't be it. Sighing, I turned off the lights in the house and got back into the room Pony and I shared.  
  
Pony was already in bed, fast asleep. He was lying on his side, curled up into a ball. I frowned. I had never seen him sleep like that. I shrugged. But then, I had never really kept track of his sleeping habits. I got into bed quietly, and stretched out, lying on my back, with my arm flung over Pony.  
  
I couldn't fall asleep. I was too excited about Pony's coming home. I turned my head to look at my kid brother, grinning affectionately at him. I watched him for a while. His back was toward me, and his arms covered his face.  
  
All of a sudden, I heard a soft whimper come from him, and I sat up in bed, my eyebrows furrowing. Was he having a nightmare? He wasn't making a lot of noise, or moving around, like he did when he normally had nightmares.  
  
Pony shifted a little, curling up tighter. "No. . . No. Stop. Please. . ."  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I was lost in a red, hazy world. Images flashed through my mind, each vivid and real. I could see blood. . . my blood. . . everywhere. . . Kevin was standing over me, laughing. . . the belt came down on my back, leaving red, painful welts. . . there was nowhere to run. . . there was no escape. . .  
  
"No," I pleaded. "No. . . stop. Please. . ."  
  
I almost sobbed at my helplessness.  
  
Suddenly, I felt strong hands grasp my shoulders. I cried out in terror, struggling to get out of Kevin's firm grip. His face loomed closer to me. . . You're worthless! Nobody loves you! Nobody cares for you! The cold words echoed around me unceasingly.  
  
The hands were shaking me. I tensed, expecting pain, but they were gentle. Soft, urgent words were coming through Kevin's hard voice.  
  
"Pony, Pony! It's just a nightmare. Wake up!"  
  
I struggled to get out of the dream I was in. My eyes popped open with a start. Instead of Kevin's cold, black eyes, as I was so fearfully expecting, familiar warm, chocolate brown ones were looking down at me worriedly.  
  
I started shaking, partly from relief, and partly from the aftereffects of my nightmare.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
Ridden by feelings of guilt, I had not been able to sleep, and I sat up in bed as I heard a soft sound of distress from the room Pony and Soda shared next to me. I strained my ears to find out what it was, but everything was silent. I shook my head. Stop imagining things, I scolded myself.  
  
Lying back down in bed, I closed my eyes again, only to open them a few seconds later when I heard Soda's voice.  
  
"Pony! Pony, it's just a nightmare. Wake up!"  
  
I jumped out of bed, running into Soda and Pony's room.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
Pony's green eyes snapped open, and for a second they looked fearfully around the room, and then looked back at me, his eyes wide and scared. I resisted the urge to frown. I had felt that there was something wrong the second I had seen Pony again. An annoying nagging at the back of my head. And I intended to find out what it was. However, I gave him a reassuring smile and wrapped my arms around Pony.  
  
I frowned when I caught his muffled gasp of pain as my arms tightened around him, and his forced attempts to steady his breaths. I loosened my arms, looking down into his wet eyes worriedly.  
  
"Ponyboy, what's wrong?"  
  
At that moment, the door opened. I looked over my shoulder, but Pony just buried his head into my chest, shaking.  
  
"Nightmare?" Darry mouthed at me. I nodded. Darry crossed the room, flicking on the small table light, lighting the room with a soft, orange glow. I turned my attention back to Ponyboy, talking softly to him as his shaking slowly subsided.  
  
Suddenly, I noticed the unnatural heat that radiated from his body. I drew away from him a little, pressing the back of my hand to his forehead worriedly, confirming my suspicions. And then I kicked myself mentally for not noticing his fever earlier.  
  
"Ponyboy, you're sick," I said softly. "Why didn't you tell us?"  
  
Pony looked alarmed at my words, jerking away from my hand, which was still on his forehead. I sighed, deciding to ask him again later, and pulled him into a hug again, my hand rubbing small circles on his back.  
  
Immediately, I felt him tense, and gasp softly. I stopped. I was starting to get genuinely worried. That had been the second time Pony had flinched from my touch. And he had barely touched his food at dinner. Now that I thought of it, he looked as if he had lost a lot of weight during the past month. He seemed tense all the time, and I could feel his tension as I held him in my arms. Every breath he drew out was too controlled, too regular to be normal. And they did not match his wildly thumping heartbeat, or the clamminess of his hands, or the cold sweat on his back. He was scared of something, and he was trying to hide it from us. That much I was sure of now.  
  
I looked over at Darry, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. We had gotten a lot closer since Pony had gone, and I understood in that single glance we shared that he knew something was wrong as well.  
  
I lifted one hand up to brush away a stray strand of hair that was in my face, but my hand froze in mid air as I noticed a dark, rust-colored stain on it. I knew immediately it was blood. Ponyboy's blood. I don't know how I knew. Maybe it was just some of Darry's big brother paranoia that had rubbed off on me.  
  
I stared at my hand in shock. From the sharp intake of breath and sudden movement behind me, I knew that Darry had seen it too.  
  
A/N: omigod ppl! I'm sooo sorry! I left you at a kind of cliffhanger. . . okay fine, Anon, I do have some! But only a few!! :o) sorry!!  
  
I just wanted to get this chapter posted asap but I promise I'll try my best to find time to write the next chapter REALLY REALLY REALLY SOON!!! Once again, SORRYYYY!!! I really didn't' mean to leave you all hanging. . . 


	17. Discovery

A/N: Argh! I haven't updated for such a long time, and I'm really, really sorry! I was meaning to update asap, but my evil biology teacher gave us a huge chapter test at the last second, and after I finished studying, I was far too exhausted to write anything~ and I had so many bouts of writer's block I've lost count. . . but once again, I'm REALLY sorry for the long wait!  
  
And also, I'm trying DESPERATELY not to check fanfiction.net or write fanfiction that much anymore. (sowee Lillia!!) I'VE GOTTA SPEND MORE TIME ON MY HOMEWORK!!! But it isn't working! This stuff is WAY too addictive. However, my next chapter might not come out for a while, that is, if I can restrain myself! Lol! Don't worry~ that doesn't mean much; I have like, less than zero self restrain. Maybe negative 100000? Hehe.  
  
Anyway, onto my thank-yous! ;o)  
  
Killslay: thanks for telling me about Darry being OOC- I'll change that part of the story later when I have time! ;o) and thanks for the ideas! I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
Lillia E: hey! Whoa~! EIGHT reviews for ONE chapter!!! *jaw drops* You make me feel like such an evil, ungrateful, mean, horrible person!!! But thank you so much!!! You are so nice! And you are NOT sad or pathetic!!! No, I haven't seen The Muse. . . was it good? I'm like the devil? Teeheehee~ *puts on an angelic smile* Lillia's like, YOU'RE NOT TRICKING ME! YOU EVIL GURL!!! Lol. Anyway, thanks for the reviews again! Hehe you're spoiling me! LOL.  
  
Hell-Flame-Narf: WHOA long review!!!! Thank youuuu!!! :o) That was soo hilarious! I was like, rotfl in the computer lab. . . that was all your fault!! *grabs david's green lightsaber and cuts off his hand* yay! Now you're hayden Christensen!! Teeheehee~  
  
Lisa: thanks for your review!!  
  
Ryo Wings: thanks! I hope you enjoy the next one! :o)  
  
Ann: yup I am! Hehe. thanks for your review!  
  
David: updating! Sorry- I didn't really update that soon though!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: hehe thanks for liking the last chapter!  
  
Porcelain Princess: too short? I'm sorry! I'll try writing longer ones!  
  
Hano Chino: thanks for your review!  
  
Trinity Star and her Muses: lol thanks for your review! Gagged Muses? Rotfl!  
  
Pony's girl: yea, he has been sick for a long time~ aw poor pony! LoL. I'm finally updating! Hehe.  
  
Joce: LoL I'd love to see that! You really hate Kevin, don't you? Hehe. well, who doesn't? THAT BASTARD!!! *Litzy chases after Kevin with huge kitchen knife*  
  
Two-BitGortez: thanks for your review! I hope you like this chapter!  
  
Pigtailed Goth: you owe me a cookie! I'm waiting! Give it here right now!!! *stomps brattily* LOL! Just kidding. Thanks for reviewing! Ps. Have you tried the soft baked dark chocolate chunk cookies from Pepperidge Farm? I'm eating them right now. . . *yum!* hehe.  
  
Happy Me: thank you so much for the compliment. It really made my day. :o) I really hope you like this chappie!  
  
Vaula: yup! I live to torture Pony! *sadistic grin* lol no I'm just joking~ but yeppers, I like to!  
  
Outsiders-maniac: it's killing you? *gasp* oh no! better update faster!!!  
  
Mona: thanks for the review! LoL- another Sandy hater? Don't worry- I wasn't planning any more Sandy stuff! :o)  
  
Curtis4ever: thanks! I hope you like this chapter!  
  
P.S. IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY November 8! Yay! I'm finally 15!!!!!!! Hehe. but it SUCKS!!! I'm took my SSATs on the SAME DAY!!! AAAARRRGHHHH!!! Sorry, I just had to complain~  
  
Anyway, onto the story!  
  
CHAPTER 17:  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I could feel the blood trickling down my back, making the open wounds sting fiercely. My tossing and turning in bed must have reopened some wounds and, against my will, I tensed in pain as Soda put a hand on my back. He instantly took it away, and I relaxed slightly, only to stiffen once again as I heard a small gasp from Soda, and a sudden movement from Darry. Looking up slightly, I caught sight of Soda's half raised hand. Both my brothers were staring at the blood on Soda's palm. I realized with a sinking heart that my blood must have seeped through my shirt. I started shaking. My brothers would find out everything. It was all over.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
I tried to stay calm, fighting to control my voice.  
  
"Pony, what happened?" I cursed myself as my voice shook. Ponyboy tried to wrench himself out of my grasp, but I seized his shoulders gently, hugging him close to me and speaking to him softly in an effort to calm him down. For the first time, it didn't seem to work. He seemed even more terrified, and I let go of him slightly.  
  
"Honey," I said, as gently as I could, "We wanna help you, but we can't if you don't tell as what's wrong."  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I wanted to tell them; really I did. I felt like a huge weight was on my chest, and I was almost collapsing under the weight of my long pent-up tears and the doubts and terror clouding my every thought.  
  
But I couldn't tell them. I was just worthless. And once I opened my mouth to tell them, they'd know. And they wouldn't love me anymore. How could they? I was just a pathetic excuse for a human being.  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
"Do you want some chocolate milk?" I asked. I knew how he loved it, and it had always worked calming him down. Still looking down, Pony gave us a small nod. Without a word, Darry got up to get some.  
  
Once we were left alone in the bedroom, Pony scooted a little closer to me, putting his head in my chest. I noticed for the first time the way he clung to me, seemed as though he hadn't been hugged for a long time. I put my arms around him again, and sat with him in silence for a while. I didn't want to ask him again so soon; I just stayed close to him, letting him know I was there for him, and that I loved him.  
  
After a few minutes, the door opened and Darry walked in, holding a cup of chocolate milk. Pony almost jumped out of his skin at the soft sound. He raised his head, his eyes darting around the room again. I frowned. His actions reminded me of someone. . . they seemed so familiar somehow. I pushed the thoughts away as Darry handed me the cup. I gave it to Pony, and he took it in both hands. We all sat quietly as he drank, and I put an arm around his shoulders. I felt his shaking slowly decrease. Finally, he put the empty cup down on his lap, and his fingers played with the thin, cotton bedspread, something he always did when he was nervous. He could never stop his habit of fiddling with whatever was closest to his fingers.  
  
"Pony," I pleaded. "Tell us what's wrong, honey. Please. Whatever it is, we'll help ya through it. We love you Pony, no matter what."  
  
I saw Pony's eyes fill with tears at my words, but he blinked them back, looking down to hide his tears from us. He mumbled something.  
  
"What?"  
  
He sniffled. "He said. . . he said. . . you didn't love me. . . nobody loves me. . ." I had to strain my ears to catch his almost inaudible words.  
  
"Who said that?" I demanded. Pony didn't answer, trying to look away. I caught his chin with a hand, tilting up his head so he had no choice but to look into my eyes.  
  
"Was it Kevin?" Pony stayed silent, but the flicker of genuine fear and near panic that showed in his eyes at the mention of the name was answer enough.  
  
"Pony, we do love you," I said earnestly. "Don't you ever let anyone tell you otherwise, honey. You know we love ya, right?"  
  
I looked intently into my brother's wide, green eyes. I wanted to start bawling. He looked so small and lost. Suddenly, I realized who he was reminding me of: those wide fear-filled eyes, the way he jumped at every slight sound. Johnny Cade.  
  
"Pony, what happened?" I asked softly. He tried looking away again, but I wasn't going to let him get away with it this time.  
  
"Look, you can tell us everything when you're ready okay, honey? Just let me see what happened to your back." I knew the blood had come from there. In the light, I could see that his dark shirt was wet, and I knew it wasn't only sweat.  
  
Pony turned his terrified eyes toward me again. I looked back at him, waiting. His pupils were slightly dilated, and his slightly ragged breathing told me his was in pain.  
  
"Please," I begged. "You know you can trust us. Come on, Pony. Let us help you." Pony was still for a moment, and then he nodded.  
  
His hands started shaking again as he pulled off his T-shirt. I gasped when I saw his bruised ribs, and the dark fingerprints around his neck, but my surprise turned to horror when I saw his back. His skin was marred with layer upon layer of raw welts, and I could see the red imprints of a belt on his back.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I stared in disbelief, understanding slowly filtering into my brain. With the realization came the guilt. I could feel it settling over me like a heavy weight and something inside me sagged under the load. How could I have let him out of my care? How could I have allowed the state to take him away?  
  
Different emotions whirled around me dizzily, and, not knowing how to react, I grabbed onto one desperately.  
  
"That's fucking child abuse!" I exploded angrily, shaking my fist.  
  
I saw Pony cringe away from me, backing nearer to Soda, looking at me with wide, terrified eyes. My heart constricted painfully in my chest as I realized he thought I was going to hit him. My anger evaporating as fast as it had appeared, I slowly lowered down my hand.  
  
"Pony, I'm not going to hit you." It hurt that I had to tell him that.  
  
He shot me another terrified look, and then Soda enveloped him in a warm hug, careful not to touch his injuries. I could see Pony's shoulders shaking with sobs.  
  
"Let it out baby, just let it all out. . ." Soda said softly. "Nobody's gonna hurt you anymore." He talked quietly to Pony for a while, and his words had a calming affect on all of us.  
  
After a moment, I got up and walked to the bathroom to get some clean water and a cloth. It was the only thing I could think of to do. When I got back into the bedroom, Pony and Soda were in the same position as before. I silently handed them to Soda, my heart tearing a little more as I saw Pony flinch when I got closer. I went back, sitting on the edge of the bed. I hated feeling so helpless. I hated not knowing what to do. And, above all, I was being torn apart inside by the way he was so obviously terrified of me.  
  
"I'm gonna clean this up a little okay, Pony?" Soda said. Pony nodded, sniffling.  
  
Pony tensed in pain as Soda washed away the blood on his back as gently as he could. I had to look away as I saw Pony wince. I couldn't stand to see any of my brothers in pain.  
  
When I looked back, Pony was asleep, lying on his chest. Soda was trying to put a shirt on him without waking him up, and I quickly went over to help.  
  
I pulled the blanket up to Pony's waist and tucked them around him. We watched him sleeping for a while in silence. He seemed so small and vulnerable. I could feel my anger bubbling up to the surface again, but held it down firmly. Surprisingly, it was Soda who cracked first.  
  
"I'm gonna kill that bastard."  
  
The sudden words cut sharply through the quiet night air. I hadn't heard Soda swear for a long time. I looked over at him, a little surprised. His chocolate-brown eyes were blazing in anger and his fists were clenched.  
  
"Nobody hurts my kid brother and gets away with it," he ground out fiercely.  
  
I was longing to burst into anger with him and shout crude obscenities at Kevin, but I knew one of us had to keep our cool.  
  
"Calm down little buddy," I said, laying a hand on his shoulder. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?"  
  
Soda sighed. "Okay, Dar. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got mad like that."  
  
I nodded. "It's okay. Go to bed, Soda. It's getting pretty late."  
  
Soda stifled another yawn, but he got into bed without argument, slipping carefully under the covers so as not to disturb Pony's sleep.  
  
"Night, Dar," he called sleepily.  
  
As I closed the door quietly, I took one last peek at my sleeping brothers. I felt the guilt rush through me again as my gaze lingered on Ponyboy.  
  
"I promised I would protect you," I thought. "I've failed you."  
  
I made my way back into my room and lay down on my bed wearily, staring up at the ceiling. But I knew sleep would be a long time coming.  
  
Ack~ sorry. that was a horrible chapter. And a horrible chapter ending. And it took me a horribly long time to write it. but I really had to post up something. And, once again, I'm really sorry for the long wait.  
  
Anyway, REVIEW!!!!!! Please!! *Litzy gets down on her knees and beggs* 


	18. Guilt

Hey everyone! Yup *nods* I'm finally updating! Hehe. *runs away from angry reviewers who have been waiting forever for Litzy to update* well, I updated faster than last time! Ack~ it could have been much faster, because I had this chappie all typed out and everything by last week (can you believe it?) but I couldn't get onto the computer. . . lol. .  
  
Oh and MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Consider this my Christmas present to you all! :o) ho ho ho. . . hehe  
  
Anyway, I'm really sorry if all I write is 'thanks for your review' but I don't have much time right now. . . but thanks again to everyone who updated- I really really appreciated it! :o)  
  
Killslay: thanks for your review! And sorry- I'm dumb- but what does canon mean? And OMG I was bored the other day and I was reading through past reviews, and you said in your review for chapter 14 that you were starting the Silmarillion!!! Hehe sorry I just started it. . . is it good? my cousin wouldn't stop pestering me to read it (she's another LotR addict). . . hehe.  
  
Lillia E: whoa~ four reviews!!! Thank you sooo much! Aww I made you cry? I'm so sorry! *hands over a tissue* and OMG your last review made me feel SO guilty! I almost immediately grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling- hehe. lol I just got your fourth review as I finished up writing this- as to your question, no I'm not American, but yes I'm on Christmas break. . . BUT MY SCHOOL GIVES US MIDTERMS RIGHT AFTER THE 2 WEEK BREAK!!!!!! Yes I'm complaining again. . . but it SUCKS!!! LoL.  
  
Ami: hehe I'll try my best to update sooner in future, but no promises! And thanks for your review :o)  
  
SharpShooter626: thank you so much for your review!  
  
Sodapop'll-be-mine: *gasp* three reviews! You are soo nice!  
  
Gemma: thanks for the compliment!  
  
Trinity Star and her Muses: ouch! Four schoolbooks?! AND a skateboard? That sounds painful. . . *pats Trinity Star on the head* you poor thing!  
  
Porcelain Princess: hehehe yes fanfiction is far too addictive! It should be illegal! Aah! *runs away from other fanfiction-addicts*  
  
Two-BitGortez: thanks for reviewing!  
  
Elsie: yes they must! I hope you like this chappie too!  
  
Aquarius: lol I agree- and I'll try! I promise!  
  
Kaye: thanks so much for your review!  
  
Lin3: WHAT?!?!? NO! YOU HAVE TO FINISH YOUR STORY! YOU MUST! Sorry lol I'm yelling but you HAVE TO!!!!!!! hehe. thanks for the review. And you'd better finish your story! It's awesome! :o)  
  
Pony's girl: lol yet another Kevin hater! hehe. thanks so much for reviewing!  
  
Wanda: thanks for reviewing!  
  
Hell-Flame-Narf: LOL that review was hilarious, hehehehehe rotfl! *Litzy kicks david in the head* *david starts crying* *Litzy does the evil laugh MUAHAHHAHHAA* david: now why did you do that? Litzy: cuz I'm evil! MUAHAHHAHAHAHA! David runs away. LOL sorry.  
  
Joce: hehe- your review made me laugh- YAY lets all kill Kevin!!! That evil s.o.b!!!.  
  
Pigtailed Goth: lol- halfway to 30? I never thought of that! I can't imagine myself 30. . . hehehe.  
  
Mickey4U: thanks for your review!  
  
Mona: no! don't die!! *Litzy quickly writes next chapter* hehehe. and don't worry, I wasn't planning writing any more about Sandy- I'm not that interested in her either! Hehe. SODA'S MIIIINEE!!!! J/k j/k.  
  
PonysGirl2: thanks for your review!  
  
Curtis4ever: thanks for reviewing!  
  
CrazeLilDreamer: don't cry! Aww *Litzy hands over another tissue* hm. . . I'm beginning to run out, hehe.  
  
Drea: thanks for reviewing!  
  
Latinagal: I know, hehe. whoa~ many Kevin-haters by now lol! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!  
  
Gothic crow: cool! You speak German? MEE TOOO!!! Hehe well, my German really sucks. . . I learned it for 7 years but I haven't spoken it for 4 years now so. . . yea hehe. thanks for your review! (and don't worry- your English is great! :o) )  
  
Ponyboysgirl1: lol yes I wish Kevin would die too. . . *hits Kevin on the head with a golf bat* lol.  
  
CHAPTER 18 (aka Litzy's sadistic Curtis-torturing. . .- LOL sorry will shut up now)  
  
~*~SODAPOP'S POV~*~  
  
I woke up early, not being able to sleep too well the night before. Turning my head, I looked over at my younger brother. Pony was slightly curled up next to me, and although he was asleep he still had a slightly troubled look on his face. That tension that he could not escape from even in slumber. I felt that burst of anger that had exploded in me last night rise up dangerously again. For the first time in my life I seriously wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt Kevin badly. I wanted to kill him. How DARE he hurt my kid brother?  
  
But again I pushed those feelings away. Pony came first. And I knew he needed me. I won't leave you honey, I promised silently, reaching out to brush a few strands of pony's hair from his face. I love you.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I lay in bed, staring up at the blank white ceiling. I hadn't gotten any sleep at all last night. Why did I let them take him from me? Why? I asked myself for the thousandth time. I could have done something. I didn't know what, but I knew I should have been able to stop what had happened to Pony. It was my duty to protect my brothers. Why hadn't I been able to this time? What had I done wrong?  
  
I checked the time. It was half past four. Sighing, I sat up, pushing away my blanket. I was exhausted from my sleepless night, but I knew I wouldn't be getting any rest, however long I lay in bed. I shivered a little as the cold air hit me and grabbed a sweatshirt, throwing it on. I got out of my bedroom and padded down the hallway softly, pausing as my hand tentatively touched the handle to my brother's room. Did I dare face my brothers after I had let them down so badly?  
  
After a moment, I gathered up my courage and turned the handle, opening the door slowly so as to not disturb my sleeping brothers. Soda was sitting up in bed, and looked up when I walked in. He gave me a small smile.  
  
"Mornin' Dar," he said softly, careful not to wake Pony.  
  
"How is he?" I murmured, indicating my youngest brother. Soda sighed.  
  
"Not too good, Darry. I think his temperature went up in the night; he's burnin' up. I didn't want to wake him up yet though."  
  
I looked at Pony's flushed face, reaching over to feel his forehead to confirm Soda's suspicions. I berated myself inside; I knew he had been running a slight fever last night. Why hadn't I given him something for it then, before it had had a chance to get worse?  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Darry."  
  
I jumped slightly at Soda's soft voice, and looked down at him, finding it more than a little hard to meet his probing gaze. For a second I thought of denying it, but I knew I could never hide anything from Soda. Nobody could.  
  
"This is all my fault," I said miserably, sinking into a chair.  
  
"No, it's not," said Soda softly. "You tried your best, Dar. Pony knows it, and he doesn't blame you either. None of us do."  
  
I gave him a small grin. The words were comforting, and I wished I believed them.  
  
"Thanks, Sodapop," I whispered.  
  
"Think on it," Soda said, reaching out to touch my arm. "And don't eat yourself up about it. Pony needs you, as much as he needs me."  
  
I nodded. "Try to get some sleep, Soda. I'll go and clean up the house a little."  
  
"Okay. Call me if you need any help," replied Soda, agreeing easily and slipping back under the blanket.  
  
"And call me if Pony wakes up," I said, as I shut the door.  
  
I closed my eyes, leaning against the wall for a second as soon as I shut the door. What if Soda was right? What if Pony really didn't blame me? But my anguished memories countered my hopeful thoughts. Pony hadn't returned my hug at the airport. He'd turned away from me. I could almost see his wide, fear-filled eyes. Eyes that begged me not to get closer, not to hurt him. And I had hurt him. Sure, it was Kevin delivering the beatings, but who was the one who had sent him into that hellhole in the first place? I shoved my thoughts out of the way for a while, and walked into the kitchen. Seeing the pile of dirty dishes I had left in the sink the night before, I almost gladly picked up the first plate, scrubbing it clean with warm soapy water. I sighed softly as the sound of running water and the steady scrubbing of the dishes blissfully emptied out all my thoughts, providing me temporary relief from the self-blame and guilt that had been clawing at me for so long.  
  
~*~PONYBOY'S POV~*~  
  
I woke up, but kept my eyes closed, eager to stay awhile in the wonderful dream I'd had. The first good dream I'd had for a long time. In my dream, I had escaped Kevin and was back in Tulsa with my brothers. I relaxed slightly under the covers, indulging myself.  
  
Suddenly I heard the door slam loudly and my eyes snapped open. I tried sitting up, but I felt too sick and weak to. Just as the all-too familiar panic gripped me, almost mobilizing me with fear, a hand touched my shoulder gently and I found myself staring into a pair of gentle brown eyes.  
  
"It's okay, Ponyboy," Soda soothed, his voice almost immediately calming me down. "You're back in Tulsa now, and I won't let anyone hurt you okay, baby?"  
  
Still breathing a little faster than normal from my initial panic, I nodded and snuggled nearer to him, feeling warm and safe in his protection.  
  
"Go back to sleep, Pony," I heard Soda say. I closed my eyes again, not arguing. I couldn't have kept them open much longer anyway; the room seemed to be spinning around uncomfortably and I felt awfully dizzy. The unrelenting pain in my back didn't help matters at all. I was aware of my dry throat begging for water but I didn't have the strength to voice my request. I fell back asleep almost the second my eyes closed.  
  
~*~DARRY'S POV~*~  
  
I jumped at the sound of the door being slammed and turned away from the sink to glare at a grinning Two-bit.  
  
"Did you have to slam the door that loudly?" I growled.  
  
Two-bit's wide grin withered a little under my glare. He must have been surprised; I had never yelled at him about his frequent door slamming before.  
  
"Uh. . . sorry Darry," he said finally, backing into Steve. I ignored them both and ran back into Pony's room, opening the door quietly.  
  
"He woke up a few seconds ago when the door slammed," said Soda before I asked. "Is there any Panadol in the house? He didn't look too good."  
  
"I'll go and get some," I replied. "Wake Pony up."  
  
When I got back, I found Soda trying to wake a very groggy Ponyboy.  
  
"Come on honey. Just open your eyes a while. . ." Soda begged. He finally got Pony to sit up in bed. Pony rubbed his eyes sleepily.  
  
"I don't feel so good Soda," he mumbled.  
  
"I know baby, I know," Soda soothed. "Just swallow this down okay? Then you can go back to sleep."  
  
I handed Soda the Panadol and a glass of warm water.  
  
"Soda. . ." said Pony suddenly. "I think I'm gonna be sick. . ."  
  
It took me a moment to understand what he meant. Quickly, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, the trash can, just as Pony retched.  
  
When he was finished, he leaned back on the bed. He was awfully pale. After a few minutes of coaxing, Soda got Pony to swallow the Panadol and drink a little water. I watched as Soda tucked an exhausted Pony back under the covers.  
  
I heard a slight sound behind me and turned around to see Two-bit and Steve peeking in through the open door.  
  
"Is the kid okay?" asked Two-bit.  
  
I looked over at Soda questioningly. I knew he understood Pony the best of all of us, and he would know what Pony wanted. After a second, Soda nodded.  
  
"Just tell them, Dar."  
  
I sighed but acquiesced, leading Two-bit and Steve out of the bedroom and into the living room. Drawing a deep breath, I started.  
  
The words came haltingly and it was difficult to start, but I forced myself to keep going. I watched Two-bit's normally dancing gray eyes turned stormy as I spoke.  
  
There was a long silence after I had finished and my words seemed to echo around us, not allowing any escape from the harsh reality of what had happened. Then suddenly, without a word, Steve sprang up and ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving me and Two-bit sitting on the sofa, dumbfounded.  
  
~*~STEVE'S POV~*~  
  
My breath came in short gasps as I tore through the streets. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know when I'd stop. Maybe I'd never stop. Maybe I'd just keep running away. Memories flashed through my mind and I quickened my pace, trying to leave those behind. But I couldn't stop them from coming.  
  
I remembered myself shoving a ten-year-old Ponyboy out of the way. I remembered the time I had accidentally-on-purpose knocked the birthday cake onto the floor at his twelfth birthday party. I remembered how I had hissed, "Don't be such a sniveling crybaby" at Pony's parents funeral. I remembered all the times I had wished Pony would just die and stop tagging along with us and stealing all of Soda's attention.  
  
But I hadn't wanted THIS to happen to him. God Almighty, I would never wish anything like that to happen to any kid, let alone a friend.  
  
I stopped suddenly and leaned on a streetlamp, closing my eyes as more painful memories resurfaced. I could see my drunken father, yelling at a much younger me cowering in the corner.  
  
YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE IN THIS HOUSE! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET OUT!  
  
I flinched involuntarily as each word hit me like a sharp stone. I put a hand to my cheek and was shocked to find a tear running down it. I hadn't cried in years. Hell, I didn't know I even remembered how to cry. I wiped the tear off my face and stared at my hand for a second. The single tear ran down my finger in a tiny rivulet, a tiny reminder of my past. After a second I tore my eyes off it and brushed it off on my jacket.  
  
I'd make it up to Pony somehow.  
  
Well, that's it for today!  
  
Merry Christmas again! I hope you enjoy your holiday unlike me; I'm doomed to spend the rest of the hols chained to my chair and locked in my room, studying for midterms. . . *sob* lol yes I absolutely love complaining, whining, etc. hehehe. 


	19. Further discoveries

**NOTE: HEY, SORRY FOR THE CAPITAL LETTERS, JUST WANTED TO GRAB YOUR ATTENTION! This is not an update, but I changed some stuff in this chapter that might influence the rest of the story! Please read!! Thanks :o)**

**A/N:** omigod guys! i can't believe that i haven't updated since Christmas!! litzy hits self on head well, i was really bored the other day so i got onto fanfiction.net and I started reading through this fanfic and i have decided that no matter what I AM GOING TO FINISH THIS FIC!!! hehehe!!  
  
Thank you to all reviewers! huggles everyone you guys are the best!! :o) Killslay: Hey! Hope you're still here! I am soo sorry about the long wait! To your question, actually I have no idea where Dal and Johnnycakes are! But they turn up in this chapter! :o) and yeah, I gave up on the Silmarillion. I'm reading the Iliad now to get prepared for Troy! May 14!!! I CAN'T WAIT! Teehee  
  
**Lillia E**: ooh a long review!! Wow you check every day? I'm so sorry I haven't updated for the longest time! And thanks for the dark chocolate tip! :o) Gave me an excuse to eat candy 24/7 evil grin  
  
**Sodapop'll-be-mine**: Teehee, thanks for understanding about the updating thing!  
  
**Elsie**: yup, I agree about it not being Dar's fault! Poor guy. . . thanks for your review!  
  
**CrazeLilDreamer**: huggles CrazeLilDreamer thanks for reviewing!  
  
**Wanda**: hands over tissue and hugs Wanda  
  
**Driven to insanity**: smothers driven to insanity with rib-breaking hugs thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!! hehe, strangle abusive parents? I want to do that too! Oh and Happy (very belated) New Year to you too!  
  
**Gemma**: hm. . . of course I'll update soon! I always do! starts edging away LOL.  
  
**Curtis4ever**: don't worry, Pony will definitely realize that Dar is a good guy! As much as I love angst, sap is definitely another of my obsessions! So there will be more of that in upcoming chappies! :o)  
  
**Mickey4u**: I hope you like the reactions in this chapter! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
**David**: ROTFL! Thanks for the long review! You'd better review this one as well! tries to look threatening gives up and starts chasing David with frilly pink ribbons instead I SWEAR I'LL PUT THESE IN YOUR HAIR UNLESS YOU REVIEW!  
  
**Trine**: hehe, I have no idea why, but I love torturing my favorite characters! laughs sadistically no! don't run away! Why are you running away from meee?  
  
**Becca**: yup, Johnny and Dal's reactions are in this chapter! Hope you enjoy it!  
  
**Pony's** **girl**: I wish Kev could die too. . . hm wait why am I wishing? I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!!!!!! hehe.  
  
**Amber**: WOW jaw drops so many reviews! You are soo nice!!! huggles Amber until she can't breathe THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!! Ooh you're Hispanic? That's awesome! I don't know any Hispanic people, hehe. I totally agree about the freshman thing. . . high school is pretty scary! Ah well, next year we'll be sophomores and we can pick on the poor freshmen! evil snigger  
  
**Makado**: thanks for the compliment! :o)  
  
**Bailyy**: aww hands over more tissues with Orlando Bloom's face on them oops, wrong ones! hands over the ones with Ponyboy on them hehe! (sorry about the Orli thing if you are a guy! I'm just obsessed right now!)  
  
**JustCallMeEri**: AAAH! Evil killer monkeys? Sounds absolutely terrifying! I'd better update sooner! Lol.  
  
**Lin**: hey! I hope you like how Johnnycakes reacts! Thanks for reviewing! Thanks also to redrose2310, Ryo Wings, Ami, Joce, Two-BitGortez, PonysGirl2, Sul, Drea, darkdestiney2000, trunksGRL13, korin and blah for reviewing!!!  
  
Well, i hope you guys are still here... don't forget me!! sob I've been reading in the LotR fandom obsessively (Legolas! Aragorn!! Yes, I am another screaming fangirl that you do NOT want to watch any Orlando Bloom movies with in the same cinema!)  
  
But the main reason i haven't updated for such a long time was because everyone was really interested in how Johnny takes the news, and to be honest with you guys, i really had no idea. and i didn't want to disappoint anybody!!! ah well. Here I go! Tell me what you think!!  
  
Oh and lastly, please note that Two-bit is a little OOC in this chapter. And so is Darry. ARGH, almost everyone is OOC here!!! Ah well. I mean, you obviously would not act the way you normally would if you were just told that a close friend was abused, right??? So please don't flame me on this.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. wince please don't make me say that again. It was excruciatingly painful.  
  
Okay, enough of boring you guys! Onto the fic!  
  
**Chapter 19** (finally!):  
  
_TWO-BIT'S POV_  
  
I sat completely still, for the first time in my life not knowing what to say. I still couldn't believe this whole nightmare was true. I refused to accept it. My entire life had revolved around meaningless jokes and, to tell the truth, I was praying that this was another one. I had been waiting the last ten minutes for Darry to look up and grin, telling me that it was just a stupid prank and that of course Pony was okay. Then I would know what to do. I would laugh back in relief and punch him in the shoulder, perhaps a little harder than I should, and tell him that it was a sick, sick joke. Then maybe we'd get into a wrestling match, which Darry would of course win, and life would go back to normal.  
  
However, one look at Darry's slumped shoulders and the unshed tears glistening in his eyes told me the truth in a way that words never could. What had happened to Darry, the superman, the backbone of the gang? I had always turned to him for advice, help, or just for strength. The abrupt change left me reeling, unable to find my feet. Tentatively, I reached over, placing a hand on Darry's broad, well-muscled shoulder. I could feel his body shaking, struggling to hold back sobs that racked through his body.  
  
"Darry. . ." I said softly, my uncharacteristically gentle voice astonishing even myself. Surprised, Darry looked up, his eyes accidentally locking onto mine. Caught off guard, I saw the raw emotions and turmoil clearly in his hurting eyes. I could read his guilt, anger and pain at what Pony had had to go through.  
  
Then that protective shield slammed down again, restoring his eyes to an emotionless, icy blue. I knew better. I knew my friend was hurting badly underneath that calm, strong façade he had been forced to erect after his parent's death.  
  
Surprisingly enough, I understood him, us being closer in age, better perhaps in some aspects than Soda did. I knew how it felt, how young twenty still was. To Pony and the rest of the gang, Darry was old enough to be a dependable adult. But I understood. I don't know how I would possibly cope if that kind of responsibility had suddenly been placed on me.  
  
"Darry," I continued. "Nobody blames you for this. None of it is your fault."  
  
I saw that my words weren't getting through and tried a different tack.  
  
"Pony needs you, Dar. And you can't be of any help to him if you keep beating yourself up about this."  
  
Darry turned his head away at my words, trying to hide his tears from me.  
  
"Ponyboy hates me."  
  
I hated the self-condemnation in his voice as he forced out the choked, painful words, and desperately reached out to him again, taking his shoulders in my hands and refusing to break eye contact with him.  
  
"No Darry, he doesn't!" I insisted vehemently, trying to get Darry to see the truth. "I don't know what he said to you, or how he acted towards you, but I know for certain Ponyboy could never hate you. He loves you, Darry. He loves you!"  
  
For the first time in years I felt close to tears. I went through my life, both the good times and the bad, not really caring about anything. I know this sounded corny, but it was the love that bonded the Curtis family I depended on- hell, that the whole gang depended on- to remind us that there was still love in the world, and that no matter how bad life got, we would always be there for each other.  
  
I couldn't stand what was happening.  
  
Suddenly realizing how strongly I cared, and terrified of the alien, unfamiliar feelings, I pulled back, desperately fighting my tears and searching for something else to occupy my mind.  
  
"Have. . . have Dally and Johnny found out about. . . this yet?" I said, clearing my throat. Darry didn't respond and I was just about to repeat my question when he shook his head miserably. Taking a deep breath and rubbing his wet eyes with a fist, he looked down.  
  
"They're gonna have to find out sooner or later," he mumbled wearily.  
  
"I'll go and get them."  
  
Darry gave me a small nod to show that he had heard me, and sank back into his chair, closing his eyes tightly. Taking one last look at him, I fled.  
  
I know it was selfish, but I desperately needed to escape this harsh reality for a while. I took a deep breath as I walked out of the Curtis house, seriously considering going to the pub and drinking myself into oblivion. I resisted the urge, however, deciding to find Dally and Johnny first.  
  
_DALLAS' POV_  
  
I walked over to the lot slowly, knowing that Johnny would be sleeping somewhere near there. I smiled fondly as I thought of him. He was a good kid.  
  
At the thought of the word, the uneasy feelings that had been bothering me the whole night came back with a vengeance, making my stomach twist and flip uncomfortably. I couldn't get the image of Ponyboy's reaction when Two- bit had called him 'kid' out of my head.  
  
I don't think I had ever seen him so terrified. He had actually shrank away from Two-bit, ducking his head as if he expected Two-bit to strike him or something. It just didn't make sense.  
  
Not for the first time, I shook off the feelings. It was probably nothing. I was just feeling slightly protective because I had not seen him for so long. Yes, that was it. I grinned wryly to myself as I imagined the shocked expressions of the rest of the gang if they ever found out about this. Dallas Winston had actually had a sober, sleepless night worrying his ass off about a kid. I shook my head, lighting up a cigarette and flipping it into my mouth and taking a long drag out of it.  
  
I walked into the lot, almost immediately spotting the small figure lying on the bench, a jeans jacket pulled over him. I stood over Johnny for a while, marveling at how innocent he looked asleep. Johnny always looked tense and frightened awake, his brown puppy-dog eyes bearing the scars of his parent's neglect. I felt a surge of protectiveness toward him, and at the same time a wave of intense, almost blinding anger at his parents.  
  
I know everyone thought of me as a tough, unfeeling hood who would mug anyone for a couple of bucks, and hell, they were right.  
  
But there were certain limits. I just had something against hurting kids that couldn't even defend themselves. There was something so cowardly in hitting someone weaker than yourself. Of course, I would rather die than let anyone find out about Dallas Winston's soft side.  
  
"Johnny," I said, shaking the kid's shoulder. "Hey Johnnycakes, wake up."  
  
Johnny rolled over, his eyes opening as he looked at me confusedly for a second.  
  
"Oh, hey Dal," he said softly, sitting up and giving me a smile. I was about to respond when Johnny looked over my shoulder. Following his gaze, I looked behind me, and saw Two-bit running up to us. I didn't know why, but there was something in his urgent stride that made the knot in my stomach turn icy cold.  
  
He stopped just a few yards before us, as if he didn't want to come any nearer. Now that he was closer, I could see that the joker of the gang looked abnormally seriously and his characteristic dancing gray eyes were red and puffy.  
  
Finally, I took a deep breath and forced myself to walk those few steps, reluctantly closing the distance between us. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to know Two-bit's imminent bad news. I could hear Johnny following me.  
  
"Hey Two-bit," I said at last. Two-bit opened his mouth, struggling for words.  
  
"I- I . . ." he closed his eyes for a second. "Follow me."  
  
Johnny and I exchanged confused looks. Two-bit at a loss for words? I shrugged and we started walking, easily keeping pace with Two-bit. We were silent all of the way, each of us too lost in our own thoughts to speak. Finally, we stopped at the Curtis house. Two-bit hesitated at the door, letting us in before he walked in himself.  
  
The first thing I saw was Darry, slumped in the chair. That caught my attention. Darry never slouched. He hardly acknowledged us as we sat down.  
  
"Where's Pone and Sodapop?" I asked, trying to break the silence that was getting too loud for my ears.  
  
We were all surprised when Darry actually replied.  
  
"Ponyboy is sleeping. Soda's with him," he said flatly. He was obviously trying to keep the emotion out of his voice, but we all heard the slight tremor as he said Pony's name.  
  
Not able to stand the heavy quiet that had once again descended upon the room, I exploded in anger, the safest, most comfortingly familiar emotion to me.  
  
"Darrell Curtis, if you don't tell me what the FUCK is going on, I swear to god I'll. . ."  
  
I was still trying to think of a suitable threat when Darry spoke again, obviously with difficulty.  
  
"He was . . . Pony was. . . ab-abused. . ." Darry choked on the last word, "by that . . . man . . . by that. . . monster for a month.  
  
Last night he had a nightmare and we . . . found out what happened," he continued numbly. "We found . . . there were bruises all over him and . . . that bastard had beaten him- there were welts and belt marks on his back and. . . and. . ."  
  
Darry stopped, unable to go on.  
  
I froze, my blood running cold. Darry's words hit me hard. Images of Pony ran through my head. Pony tensing at Darry's hug at the airport, the way he refused to talk about his month with Kevin, Pony's terrified, huge eyes as Two-bit ruffled his hair. . .  
  
I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before. I had never wanted to punch anything more than now. I clenched my fists so hard that my knuckles turned white, my nails digging into my palm.  
  
"THAT FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! HOW DARE HE?!" I yelled angrily, not caring that Darry winced when I turned to him.  
  
I felt Two-bit's hand on my arm but I shoved it off roughly, causing him to stumble back. I hardly noticed. There was a burning red haze blocking my vision, and I could feel the rage building up in me.  
  
"HOW COULD HE DO THAT TO ANYONE- TO PONY? ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON THAT FUCKING BASTARD, HE'LL WISH HE WAS NEVER FUCKING BORN!"  
  
Without warning, I balled my fist, punching the wall nearest to me as hard as I could. My hand crashed against the cement with a dull thud. I looked down at my bloody hand, not feeling any pain, only a slight twinge of satisfaction at the hole I had left in the wall. I stared at it, picturing the bastard's face in place of the damaged wall.  
  
The room was suddenly silent, and then Two-bit's hands were on my shoulders again, guiding me away from the wall and pushing me down onto the sofa. I didn't resist, numbly letting him steer me over. My anger had dissolved as rapidly as it had appeared, leaving my mind blank, reeling in shock.  
  
All of a sudden, I heard a tiny whimper.  
  
I had almost forgotten that Johnny was in the room. I turned around to look at him, immediately coming out of my stupor. He was on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth slowly. I could see tremors running through his body.  
  
Two-bit crouched down next to him, lowering himself to eye-level, but Johnny flinched and shrank back, away from Two-bit's touch.  
  
"No. . ." he whimpered, putting his head in his arms, as if trying to shield himself from horrible images only he could see.  
  
"It's okay, Johnnycakes. . ." Two-bit looked up, at a loss as to how to comfort the terrified child in front of him. He tried to reach out to Johnny again, only to have him back away even further out of his reach.  
  
I looked over to Darry, but he seemed almost unaware of what was going on, trapped in his own world of horror. With effort, I stood up, suddenly conscious of how much my hand ached. Ignoring it, I joined Two- bit, kneeling down next to the shaking kid.  
  
I put an arm around his shoulders, but Johnny rejected me as well, trying to scoot out of my embrace. I stared at Johnny, a tiny ball huddled against the wall, crying and shaking. In all the years I had known the kid, I had never seen him lose control like this, not even after being switched bloody by his father.  
  
I made another attempt at contact, but once again, Johnny pushed me away. Somehow, that hurt me more than anything else before. Johnny had never rejected me before.  
  
"Johnny, please don't turn away from me," I said, surprising myself at the desperately pleading undertone in my voice. I hadn't meant my words to come out like that. However, Johnny just turned his head away as he tightened his grip around his legs, burying further into himself and blocking me out even more.  
  
_JOHNNY'S POV_  
  
I felt horrible about pushing them away, but I couldn't help it. I just. . . couldn't handle talking at the moment. All I could hear was Darry's broken words echoing around and around relentlessly in my head.  
  
"Pony was abused. . . Pony was abused. . . Pony was abused. . ."  
  
I could live with my parent's neglect and occasional slaps and punches. I had grown up with it all my life. And besides, although I didn't look like it, I was tough. I knew I could take it. I had no choice; it was my life.  
  
But Pony. . . Ponyboy was gold. He had a whole life ahead of him. I couldn't conceive of the terrible idea of young, innocent Ponyboy going through that kind of horror. Abuse was such an ugly word; it seemed impossible to associate it with nature-loving, dreamy Ponyboy.  
  
I buried my head deeper between my knees, trying unsuccessfully to block out ugly images of Pony's past month. My wild imagination conjured up sickening scenes, each one more awful then the previous one. I felt as if I was going to be sick. I wanted to throw up. . .  
  
_SODAPOP'S POV_  
  
I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, exhausted. I had finally coaxed Pony back to sleep and I felt emotionally drained; too much had happened in such a small space of time. I desperately needed a break. Lying down, careful not to disturb Pony's slumber, I gently flung an arm over him. I closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to come.  
  
Half an hour later, I opened my eyes again, sighing. I was tired, but it was impossible for me to sleep. Not with thoughts of Ponyboy and that bastard in my head. I turned over to look at my kid brother, but Pony was curled us on his side next to me, his face buried into my shoulder. I reached over, pushing auburn locks away from his face.  
  
How could anyone ever think of harming my angel? How DARE they? I gritted my teeth. Nobody was going to hurt him ever again. I would protect him; they would have to get through me first.  
  
My eyes teared up again. But that wasn't enough. I hadn't been able to keep him away from that monster in the first place.  
  
And where was the Ponyboy Curtis I used to know? I could see a shadow of himself in his eyes, but now fear and distrust had clouded over the normally clear, gray orbs. I would get him back if it was the last thing I'd ever do. I swore it. I would show him love again, show him that he had nothing more to fear.  
  
_PONYBOY'S POV  
_  
_. . . it was pitch black. Suffocatingly dark. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't move. Not again! Please not again! Panicking, I struggled against my confines unsuccessfully; I was trapped. There was no way out. And I couldn't breathe. . . I couldn't breathe!..._  
  
_SODAPOP'S POV_  
  
I closed my eyes once more, although I knew by now that any attempt at sleep was futile. All of a sudden I heard a muffled whimper next to me. Instantly alert, I turned my head again to look at Ponyboy. He was curled up into an even tighter ball, shaking and mumbling something unintelligible. I caught the words, "No. . . no. . . not again! Please not again!" Then he broke off, gasping and sobbing.  
  
My heart wrenched. The poor kid couldn't escape his fears even in sleep. I was just about to wake him up when he flailed out, kicking me hard in the shin. Quickly, I grabbed his thrashing wrists, pinning them down on the bed gently.  
  
Still in the grips of his nightmare, this terrified him even more and he struggled to escape my grip. I released him slightly.  
  
"Pony! Ponyboy honey, wake up!" I said urgently.  
  
His eyes flew open instantly and he sat up. Immediately I put my arms around him, stroking the back of his head in an attempt to comfort as violent, heaving sobs shook his body.  
  
"Shh. . . it's okay, honey, it's okay," I murmured, "I'm here with you, Ponyboy. You're safe now. . ."  
  
_PONYBOY'S POV_  
  
I couldn't stop crying. I was aware that I was soaking Soda's shirt, but he didn't seem to mind. I knew I was being weak and babyish, but I couldn't help it. my dream had seemed so real. . . so vivid. I really thought I had been back in Kevin's clutches. . . I shuddered involuntarily as flashes of my nightmare relayed in my head.  
  
Forcing them out of my mind, I let myself relax in the protection of Soda's warm arms and be calmed by his soothing words. Gradually the sobs lessened and I sniffled into Soda's shoulder.  
  
"Do you wanna go back to sleep, honey?" Soda asked, looking worriedly at me and pressing the back of his hand against my hot forehead. I shook my head and curled up again in his arms, reluctant to leave the cocoon of safety they made.  
  
"Okay," Soda said, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
I shook my head immediately. I couldn't tell him! It seemed shameful, somehow. I couldn't risk him hating me, thinking I was weak and cowardly. Soda sighed.  
  
"You have to talk about it someday, baby," Soda pleaded. "Please, just try Pony. I won't force you to say more than you will. It'll feel better if you tell someone, I promise ya."  
  
Suddenly I had an urge to tell someone. Perhaps not all, but maybe a part of it. It seemed so inviting to share some of the burden that was weighing me down with someone else. Almost not aware that I had begun speaking, I began in a tiny whisper.  
  
"He . . . he used to . . . make me sleep in the garbage . . ."  
  
I barely registered Soda's shocked, "WHAT?". Lost in painful memories, I started trembling violently.  
  
Flashback:  
  
_. . . my eyes popped open quickly and I sat up, my heart pounding and my breathing harsh, aftereffects of the nightmare I had, the kind I could never remember. My throat hurt from screaming and I started shaking, resisting the urge to cry. I needed Soda. . . I need Soda. . . I need Soda. . .  
  
I pushed the thought out of my head. Soda wasn't here. And no amount of wishful thinking would change that fact. Suddenly, I heard the door to Kevin's room slam open and my blood ran cold. Desperately, I looked around the dark room for somewhere to hide, but I knew it was useless. Before I even had time to panic, the door was forcefully opened and Kevin stood on the threshold.  
  
"How much louder do you have to fucking scream, kid?" his voice was deceptively soft. Somehow that scared me more than his drunken swearing tirades. I hated the anticipation, the dread. Waiting, not knowing when his fist would strike out.  
  
I cowered on the bed as Kevin came closer, scooting back until my back touched the wall as he towered over me.  
  
"No. . . please. . ." I whispered, hating myself for my weakness as I said the words. Kevin carried on, as if he had not heard my words.  
  
"I don't care if you have nightmares, kid. As long as you don't FUCKING wake me up in the middle of the night every single time you get one, you little bastard!" He leaned forward, trapping me between himself and the wall. I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he spoke.  
  
"I've had enough of this goddamned bullshit."  
  
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again," I whispered, my voice wavering.  
  
"We'd better make sure of that, shouldn't we?" Kevin replied, giving me a now familiar and very much dreaded smile. I hated that sadistic grin. It lit up his face manically and sent cold chills down my spine.  
  
Not sure what Kevin had in store for me, but sure I would not like it, I tried to jump off the bed and escape, but he was too fast for me. Strong hands grabbed me by my armpits and dragged me, kicking and squirming, off the bed.  
  
Fear and adrenaline gave me an extra burst of energy and somehow I succeeded in kicking him hard in the stomach. He swore and doubled over, letting me go. The second I escaped from his rough grip I ran toward the door, almost falling down as my shaking legs refused to support me.  
  
I yelped as a fist connected with the back of my head, making me see bright white flashes of light. Another hard punch to the stomach forced the wind out of my lungs and I fell down on my arm with a gasp of pain.  
  
I could hear Kevin cussing and swearing, but I couldn't make out the words over the buzzing in my head. I started struggling again as Kevin picked me up, but I felt too weak and shaky to give any real resistance.  
  
My churning stomach knotted in fear as Kevin opened the back door, dragging me outside. I looked around. We were in the woods outside his house and the night was pitch black and freezing cold. Somewhere in the wilderness I heard the loud hoot of an owl and jumped at the unexpected noise.  
  
"Like it out here, kid?" Kevin leered at me. "You'd better, 'cos it's where you'll be spending the rest of tonight! In the trash where you belong!"  
  
Grabbing me again with one hand, he picked up the lid of a garbage bin. Suddenly aware of what he was about to do I renewed my struggles with all the energy I could muster, but it wasn't enough.  
  
Half lifting me up with one arm, Kevin shoved me in, slamming the metal lid back on with a loud clang. I heard another thump as something large and heavy was placed on top of the lid. I almost gagged at the smell of the rubbish I was sitting on, and fought the urge to retch. I could hear Kevin laughing somewhere near. Then the laughter faded away and I was all alone.  
  
It was too cramped inside the bin. My back was pressed uncomfortably on a side of the cold metal and my knees were forced up against my chest. I shifted my head, trying to give my cramped neck some space. I yelped in pain as my head accidentally hit the hard lid, and decided not to try and move again.  
  
The silence weighed down on me as I sat there alone, and my adrenaline faded away fast. I started shaking again, partly from the cold and partly from my nightmare. I don't think I had ever been so scared in my life, all by myself outside in the dark of night. Silent tears flowed down my cheeks and I struggled not to make a noise, although I knew Kevin had already left.  
  
Trying not to think of anything, I concentrated on breathing. Despite the chilly night, the air inside the almost airtight container was getting stuffier and it was increasingly difficult to breathe. Desperately, I pushed my nose into the tiny crack between the lid and the trash can, trying to suck in more air.  
  
I was getting dizzier and dizzier from lack of oxygen and I started hyperventilating in my panic for air. I could feel myself passing out and I held onto consciousness for as long as I could, not wanting Kevin to come back while I was out cold.  
  
The red haze clouding my eyes got thicker and finally I gave up, succumbing to the now inviting darkness. And this time when my head lolled back and hit the metal again, I didn't feel any pain . . .   
_  
"He did that every time . . . I woke him up with my nightmares," I finished shakily. Against my will, I started sobbing again.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry," I choked out brokenly, burying my face in my hands. I didn't want to look up and see the contempt on Soda's face.  
  
"I should have been stronger . . ." I whispered through my tears. "I should have been able to protect myself. I'm sorry for being so pathetic. I'm sorry for being weak. I'm sorry . . ."  
  
I jumped as I felt a hand tilt my chin up, forcing me to meet Soda's eyes. I tried to look away, but I couldn't. His eyes were full of emotions, of sadness, anger and pain. But I couldn't find any scorn or disapproval for me in them.  
  
"Ponyboy, please don't say that!" he cried, also on the verge of tears. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Don't apologize for that bastard! It was HIS fault, not yours, baby."  
  
Soda engulfed me in his arms again, momentarily chasing away my fears. I could hear him bawling over me and suddenly it seemed okay to cry. I let go of the last restraint that held me back and cried back, for the first time in a long while not feeling ashamed of my tears.

PHEW!!! That must be the longest chapter I've painfully coughed up so far!!  
  
takes about a billion painkiller pills  
  
keels over from drug overdose  
  
LoL!  
  
Well, it was fun to write! Teehee  
  
Please please PLEASE review, you guys! I'm begging you!!!!!!! I'm not writing another chapter until I get . . . hm. . . maybe I'll be mean about this one: 30 reviews! Hehe!  
  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! (was there too much crying?? It seems to me as if every ten seconds SOMEBODY starts turning on the waterworks. . . ah well!)  
  
Grrr. . . I made an IDIOT out of myself yesterday at tennis because I couldn't concentrate!! (and my tennis coach is seriously hot too!) God, it was so embarrassing!!!  
  
I started laughing (in embarrassment) the first time I missed a shot because I was occupied in thinking about hehe, ways to torture Ponyboy! And then I missed another one because I was laughing, and then I missed like, five in a row!!! And then I just dropped my racket and started laughing my head off like some maniac it was SOOOO embarrassing!!!!!!!!  
  
And then when I was practicing serves I kept screwing up every single one, and at the end, my tennis coach (who's really nice) was like, 'don't worry about it; serves are really hard. You're using these different body parts. . .'  
  
God WHY did he say that?!?!? You know when you're in a giggly state (hehe) you start laughing crazily at anything? ARGH. Now he thinks I'm some seriously sick-minded person!  
  
Whoa! Hehehe sorry to ramble on like that and bore you guys! I can't help it!  
  
Anyway, I will stop bothering everyone!

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!**

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	20. The Telephone Call

Hi everybody! Here's a new chapter (finally, I know, I know…)

I'd like to start off by thanking every one of you wonderful people who took the time to review, especially the last few (you guys really got my lazy butt writing!)

I would love to respond to each and every single one of you but I'm afraid I don't have the time.

Luna: Thanks for your review! I know- lots of people have complained to me about the social worker thing, and I know that I have perhaps been unfair toward social workers. But remember: although many social workers are of course, amazing people, there could always be a black sheep. Just because I'm demonizing on of them does not mean that I am applying this definition to all the social workers in the world.

Varinia: pushes you back into your seat teehee!

sparklegoose: cute penname! And aww, don't cry! I promise everything will work out in the end! hugs

Tsunamina: Haha, thanks for this line: "Also...Sodapop, as protective as he is of Ponyboy, would never call him honey. It sounds...really gay." That really made my day- it was hilarious! I never thought of it that way- when I wrote it I was going for the whole 'brotherly love' thing… but anyway, I tried to decrease the pet names in this chapter! And about the social worker thing, yes, I do admit that it is rather unrealistic, and I can also say that I was too eager to start writing this particular fic to completely think things through, but this IS fanfiction. The excuse "it wouldn't happen in everyday life" doesn't apply here.

CountingSheep123: omigosh! I'm sorry- I didn't know your mum was a social worker. But still (refer to Tsunamina's comment) I don't mean to generalize social workers as a while. The social workers here may be unreasonable and unkind, but I am in no way saying that all of them are that way. I'm sure your mother is an awesome social worker :o)

Rons-Frekles: Thanks for reviewing! I have a huge crush on Pony as well! And Soda and Darry and Two-bit and… gah, I'll stop now. teehee

Hobbity: AAAHH! I heart hobbits! big, bonecrushing hug thanks for reviewing, and don't cry! hands out Frodo-print tissue

klblue19: Thanks for waiting for me to update! I hope this chapter is worth it :o) (ps. Go Coke! I hate Pepsi).

Celtic Angel 18: lol, I hope I don't embarrass myself again either, but knowing me, the next silly situation is on its way! Thanks for your review.

Sweet-single: haha. I completely agree with the Kevin-revenge! And don't worry- revenge is on its way!

Koala: I'm so glad you found my story! Thanks for saying those nice things about it too :o)

Miz-jif: I completely agree with you on the Darry thing. And don't worry- Pony WILL soon realize that Dar's a good guy!

Keira (Hairibo): Thank you soo much for the compliments- you really made my day.

Pony's Girl: Thanks for reviewing, but I think Pony would murder you for your suggestion of him going to hospital AGAIN, hehe. Poor guy.

AnAuthorFormerlyKnownACrazeLilDreamer: wow, hehe. That really is a 'long, Prince-like name'! teehee joins in the careful hug

Misty: thanks for the tip- I took out the 'not updated' part to the summary!

Gemma: haha. Please don't kill meee! I myself cannot believe the amount of time it took me to update… but hey! It's updated so you can't complain sticks out tongue

Ponysgirl2: yupyup! I'm too sadistic… ah well.

Rao: Aaahh… I wish I were Soda's li'l sis too… but hey, I'd rather be his girlfriend :o)

Lillia E: Thank you SOOO much for the detailed review! And thanks for being so nice :o)

AbbieE, EastSide, Baby, Drea, goth-junkie, Cherry0214, lin3, grease girl, K.E.M, rosa, Serena, BloodMistress, al, Amara, Sodapop02, Raine, Wanda, Annataremrys, cuulcure, pie, Ami, Joce, Two-BitGortez, Morgan, Anon, Trine, Lisa, and David.

I'm sorry if I missed anybody out by mistake. I'm pressed for time but I just wanted to get a chapter out before I go to sleep tonight. If I did miss out anybody, please know that I did read and thoroughly appreciate your review.

Lastly, I'm really, really sorry about the inexcusable lateness of this chapter. I'm doing crew as a sport this term and it is seriously eating up my LIFE!

All rightey. Enough chatting and on with the story!

Chapter 20

Darry's POV:

The days blurred into weeks that went by until one month had passed since Ponyboy's return home. Although the days were quiet and mostly uneventful, we all knew that the storm had not yet passed. The battle with the state for custody over Ponyboy was far from over. Sooner or later, the state would come to call, demanding Pony's return to Murray, back into the clutches of that monster by the name of Kevin Skinner. It was a constant weight on everybody's mind, but nobody voiced this dread, not amongst themselves, and definitely not when Ponyboy was within hearing range.

A sigh escaped me as my thoughts strayed toward my youngest brother. They say that time heals all wounds, but I had the feeling that however many years passed, those wounds inflicted on Ponyboy in Murray would remain as long, jagged scars marring the innocence he once possessed. Although the physical damage was mending slowly, he was still a wreck emotionally. I remember it was about this time last week when Steve, edgy because of the way everybody was tiptoeing around the house, accidentally dropped an empty beer bottle on the floor. The resulting crash resounded throughout the house, and half an hour later, we found an inconsolable Ponyboy cowering under the bed in a fetal position, his hands wrapped protectively over his head as if expecting a harsh blow at any second. He was lost in his own terror-filled world, eyes staring at something only he could see and unresponsive to anybody but Sodapop's voice. He clung to Soda, even more than he used to. At first, he refused to enter any rooms alone without Soda, following him around like a lost puppy. It was taking a toll on all of us, especially Soda. I could see how this was tearing him apart, being so helpless. It was eating my up inside as well, not only the helplessness of the situation, but the fact that I could have prevented all this misery and suffering.

I tried not to dwell on these thoughts; I knew that if I allowed them to, they could consume me whole. Instead, I busied myself with household chores, emptying my mind with the monotonous task of sweeping the floor or emptying out the dishwasher. However, I could not always hold the guilt at bay.

The dishcloth tumbled soundlessly out of my grasp and onto the ground and I sank down to the floor with it, holding my head in my hands, trying desperately to force out the invading, guilt-filled thoughts. After a moment's struggle, I gave up, allowing them in to wreak havoc on my mind. It was my fault, all of this. If only I had been stronger. If only I had been more responsible. If only…

I had let everybody down. I had failed abysmally, and everyone else was taking the punishment for my failure. I deserved it, this shame that was eating me up from inside. I deserved Ponyboy's disgust; why should he want to acknowledge me, the irresponsible, careless, heartless older brother who sent him into the devil's lair with nothing but a suitcase full of clothes?

My body was wracked with unwilling sobs as my mind was filled with hazy red images of what had happened to Ponyboy in Murray, conjured up by my wild imagination. I was unused to crying; I had never felt inclined toward tears, and could always hold them at bay, even at our parent's funeral, when I willed myself to stay strong for my younger brothers. I had no idea why I was being so goddamned weak. My chest heaved as dry, choked sobs escaped from my lips, each more painful than the last because of how hard I was fighting against them. I felt so helpless… Ponyboy refused to let me in; he hated me, and had every right to do so. The overwhelming fear of my youngest brother being once again snatched away from my protection and placed under the claws of that… that monster consumed me, and for a moment I struggled to breathe, as if I had finally given up swimming and had been pulled underneath the crashing waves of guilt, fear, and dread.

BRRRIIIiiiinnnnngggg

I jumped as the sudden shrill ring of the telephone sounded, jolting me rudely out of my horror-stricken reverie. My hand still shaking slightly, I reached over, picking up the receiver.

"Hello?"

My breath caught in my throat as the man on the other line introduced himself, and for a second I was once again overwhelmed with my previous terror. Forcing my body to breathe in and out slowly, I steeled myself for the inevitable war.

SODAPOP'S POV:

I sat on the edge of the bed quietly, feeling a surge of protectiveness as I watched my younger brother sleep. He was curled up around a pillow, the bedclothes tangled up around him and pulled up over his eyes. The result was a vaguely Ponyboy-shaped lump with tufts of unruly auburn hair poking out at disarray from the top of the blanket. I reached over to push down the blanket again, afraid that he would suffocate himself, but at the slight disturbance he mumbled incoherently, burrowing his head deeper into the darkness beneath his pillow. He flinched as my fingers brushed past his shoulder and immediately I pulled away, trying my best not to feel hurt. The strong rays of the early afternoon sun filtered through the half-shut blinds warming my back and reminding me once again that it was way past time to wake Ponyboy up and attempt to get him to eat something. I paused in indecision as I gazed at his sleeping form. He had gotten almost no sleep lately; after his first week of constant nightmares, I'm sure he felt guilty about waking Darry and me up in the middle of each night. He began to fake sleep, closing his eyes, evening out his breathing, and straightening out his features in an expression of placidity. He probably figured that the cure for his nighttime terrors was to simply not sleep at all. He was getting to be quite a good actor at it too. If I didn't know him as well as an older brother should, I would have been misled completely. I knew how Ponyboy whimpered in his sleep, how his blunt nails almost drew blood as they dug into his soft palms because of how hard he clenched his fists when he held them protectively over his head as he whispered terrified pleas to phantom monsters who strove to destroy him. I knew because it was I who lay awake next to him as he tossed and turned beside me, begging for release from their clutches.

Much as I wished for that peaceful sleep so realistically imitated by Pony, I knew in my heart that it would be a long time coming. Much as I hated to admit it, Pony needed to confront his fears and master them. Then the nightmares would recede back into the darkness where they came from. All this skirting around and pretending nothing had happened to him in Murray was doing him no good at all.

Darry had no idea, of course. Not that he was being irresponsible or uncaring. If anything, I'd say he cared too much. I wasn't going to add to his load by speaking to him about Ponyboy's recent sleeping habits. Darry was far too racked up with his own internal turmoil and guilt. I knew he thought that everything was his fault. and nothing I said to him could ease his pain or change his mind. As I sat there, torn between the choice of waking Pony up to eat or letting him sleep for a while longer, the phone in the living room erupted with noise, breaking through the heavy silence of the house and making me jump in surprise. I recovered to find a pair of confused hazel eyes staring back at me.

DARRY'S POV:

I paced as far as the telephone cord would allow, feeling like an angry dog on a leash.

"What do you mean, 'in one week'?" I demanded. "How can you give us such short notice and expect us to be ready?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Curtis," came the irritatingly calm voice. "The courtroom is exceptionally busy at this time and the time we offered you next week is one of the only free slots. Unless, of course, you see no need for a trial. In that case, your youngest brother can simply go straight back to Murray."

I let out a frustrated breath, knowing that there was no reasoning with this man, this heartless man who did not care that my brother was still too emotionally traumatized for the mere idea of having a trial in one week.

"Fine," I surrendered unwillingly. "In one week."

"Then that's settled," the man sounded almost relieved. "Oh, and one last thing."  
"Yes?"

"Ponyboy must attend the trial."

"Wha… what?" I managed to get out. Quickly pulling myself together, I finished off slightly more eloquently, "Surely you can't expect him to face that… that bastard ever again!"

The man was speaking again, but I could barely hear him through the brain numbing shock. I knew the state probably didn't believe us about Kevin. Nor did they care about us very much. But I never thought they could possess the cruelty to force a fourteen year old, vulnerable child to face a man in trial who had physically and mentally abused him over such a long period of time.

As I fumbled for words that could penetrate this man's tough shell, I heard the soft footsteps behind me and turned around.

Ponyboy was standing alone in the middle of the living room, a surprise in itself; it was the first time I had seen him go anywhere without Soda. I let my arm drop back down to my side, suddenly indifferent to the phone receiver in my hand, which was vibrating slightly as the man continued talking, oblivious to the fact that nobody was listening anymore.

I studied him as he stood there, wearing an old shirt of Soda's that just about swallowed up his small frame. The tangerine sunlight reflected off the reddish-gold strands in his tousled hair, making him seem for that instant almost as if his head were on fire. I felt something in my heart twist painfully at the way he was staring at me wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights. I froze, afraid to move in case he would suddenly bolt off. The room grew almost painfully silent, and the only sounds were the soft _inhale exhale… inhale exhale… _from both of us.

Then, as I watched, something changed in my youngest brother's eyes. It was so slight that I would not have noticed it if my senses had not been so alert at that moment. I couldn't explain it, but all of a sudden I saw a trace of the iron resolve he had once possessed. It was the determination and willpower that had kept him running on the track with everything he had, even when he was exhausted to the point of collapse. It was the courage and grit that had made him climb through a broken window and into a burning church to save those helpless children. It was the strength and resilience that had aided him well with past handling with the Socs. It was a combination of all the qualities that Ponyboy once unconsciously possessed and so naturally wielded that had made him so uniquely Ponyboy. I long ago resigned myself to the fact that he had lost those qualities somewhere along the way to Murray. I almost forgot to breathe for that instant, afraid that I would somehow break the magic spell.

Ponyboy was the first to move. Taking a slightly shaky step forward, he took a deep breath.

"I will take the Ring to Mordor… although I do not know the way."

LOL just kidding.

"I… I can attend the hearing, Dar."

The words started off quietly, wavering slightly, but grew stronger as he went on. He looked me in the eye, as if daring me to suggest otherwise.

It was the longest sentence I had heard him speak, and the first time he had addressed me directly. Once again, I fumbled for words, but my mind was completely blank, apparently too stunned by so many surprises in such a short time that it refused to respond. Finally, I lifted the phone receiver back up to my ear, the simple action seeming to require a ridiculous amount of energy.

"Yes," I finally managed. "We'll be there."

Whoa I'm sure there is a wealth of obvious and annoying grammar mistakes throughout that little vignette, but it's getting late and I have an unnecessarily long English assignment (my teacher obviously seems to think she needs to live up to my school's reputation for having the highest suicide rate because of excessive amounts of stress…)

Gah, ignore me, I'm just venting.

Anyway, feel free to point out any sentences that don't make sense or things that are just… bad… in this chapter. Just please, review! I'd love any kind of feedback, even if it's a flame. (Although compliments are always nice as well!)


	21. It\'s not over

A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated for such a long time! Here's a nice long chapter to make you all happy :o) :o) :o)

First and foremost, I really must extend my heartfelt thanks to all of you reviewers. I can't put into words how grateful I am with your helpful comments and praise. To be honest, I was almost going to give up on this story until I got hit with yet more reviews, urging me to go on. So thanks, for giving me the drive to carry on!

A special thanks to Glitch! Thank you not only for your two wonderful reviews, but also for your ideas and inspiration. This chapter is dedicated to you.

I would love to acknowledge all of you fantastic reviewers individually, but I'm afraid time is running out (I think my mum is coming home in the next half hour and I'm not actually aloud on the computer _guilty smile_)

Glitch: laughs Oklahoma? Texas! Actually, I don't live in the US. I live in Hong Kong! teehee.

Hahukum Konn: Thanks for your words of support! I really appreciated them.

Stealth67: Whoops! I did make a mistake- thanks for catching that. If I have time I'll go back an change it!

Animefreak54: lol, I'm updating, I'm updating!

Karategel: Whoa! Sorry you had to stay up so long. Thanks for enjoying the story, though!

Rehgai: Oooh! Favourites! _huge huggle_ Thanks!

Maravillastar: Thanks for catching my mistake- I'll fix it if I have time :o)

Joce: teehee. I'm such a sucker for anything LotR!

Legaldruglover: teehee. I'm proud of Pony too. _huggles_ Thanks for understanding about the homework. Whoa- Japanese reports sound tough!

SharpShooter626: haha, thanks for appreciating my corny humour :o)

Twitch in my eye: hehe thanks! I love you too!

Tensleep: Aww! blushes Thanks for all that praise! It made my week!

Luna: wow, you actually check regularly? blush That's such a compliment! Sorry I haven't updated for so long… writer's block… I agree that this story isn't entirely realistic, but that's why it's fanfiction!

Varinia: _pushes you back onto seat_ there you go, hun :o)

Thanks also to goldengreaser, Angel02, Jenny, candyclouds711, CrazyAlchemistgrl017, Kathy, Fallingstar, Two-BitGortez, Turner, and Lisa14.

I'm really sorry if I missed anybody out!

Oh, and one more thing before I shut up :o) The end of this chapter is a tad graphic, so squeamish people, STAY AWAYY! Just wanted to warn everybody _wink_

**Chapter 21**

TWO-BIT'S POV

I groaned unhappily as I awoke, keeping my eyes firmly shut against the harsh glare of blinding sunlight shining across my face.

"Morning, Two-bit!" I groaned again as an unnecessarily loud voice near me broke through my semi-stupor, echoing and reverberating inside my skull. I cracked open an eye unwillingly, summoning up the energy to swat my offender in the head. Darry was looking down at me somberly and for a second I suffered a moment of disorientation. Then reality came crashing down. With a struggle, I sat up, holding my head in both hands as the world spun alarmingly. Darry caught my shoulder as I swayed in my seat. He offered me a pill and some water, which I gratefully swished down. Leaning back on the couch, I groaned again, partly because of my flair for theatrics and my childish need for sympathy, and also because the firecrackers inside my head seemed to be doing their job just fine along with the hammer hurling itself mercilessly against the back of my skull.

"What happened?"

"You really don't remember?"

"Errghh. . . you don't have to shout," I begged, flopping back down on the couch face forward.

"You went over to Buck Merril's and got yourself completely wasted," Darry continued in the same tone, not taking pity. His quiet footsteps seemed more like deafening gunshots as he walked around the couch, settling himself down on the little space that I had not occupied.

"Drinking yourself into oblivion every night isn't going to achieve anything. It's not good for yourself and it sure ain't helping Ponyboy. I know it may seem like the best thing to forget everything once in a while… grant yourself a reprieve from all this drama... god knows I've considered that option myself, but you're taking this to the deep end. You've really got to snap out of it."

I froze, stiffening all over, the roaring in my ears reaching a new level of defeaning at the mention of Ponyboy's name. Of course, Ponyboy... the trial that was to be held tomorrow morning... oh god, it was too soon. I wasn't ready. The memories that flooded back were painful and I tried my best to push them away. Despite the pain I was already in, I desperately yearned for another few bottles of beer to put my back into the blissful ignorance I had been in. I retched, not knowing whether my body was trying to expel vile toxins or unwanted memories, but my stomach was empty. Darry rubbed my back soothingly and I heard him bite back a sigh.

"I'm fine," I gasped. "I'll be even better if you hand over two more of those pills."

Darry got up wordlessly and retrieved them and once again I swallowed them down, this time emptying the full glass of water as well. I sat back, waiting for the pills to take effect.

STEVE'S POV

The small white tablets seemed to clack defeaningly against the walls of their orange plastic container I held in a sweaty palm. They seemed abnormally heavy and I tightened my hold on the smooth plastic to prevent it from slipping out of my grasp.

"It's the best thing," I tried to convince myself. "There's no other way."

With new resolve, I completed my journey to the Curtis house. As I jogged up the front stairs leading to the porch and placed a hand on the doorknob, a voice stopped me short.

"Hey, Randle! Wait up."

I jumped, swinging around to shoot my most withering glare at Dally.

"What's up?" he asked, completely unperturbed. Not waiting for an answer, he spoke again, keeping his eyes on mine.

"What are you holding?"

I cursed. I knew Dally had a trouble radar, but I had never known it was _that_ effective. Realizing that I had no intention of sharing, Dally made a lightning-quick grab at it. He caught me off guard, and it only took seconds for Dally to gain possession of the small container.

"Like taking candy from babies," he smirked.

"Fuck you, Dallas," I scowled, almost hoping that he would take the bait. He was unruffled, and I should have known better. Insults and threats bounced off Dally's hardened shell.

"Give it up, Steve," he taunted, waving the container before my face. Planning to drug that Curtises in their sleep?"

I scowled harder, annoyed at how close he had come to the truth. I made an unsuccessful swipe for it, and Dally wisely took a step back.

"Tell me what they are and I'll hand them back over," Dally promised.

I made a quick decision. I didn't know how good Dally's word was. I couldn't tell whether he was bluffing or not. On the other hand, I was hyper-aware of the fact that we were standing on the Curtis' front porch and that at any second the door could fly open and we would be discovered. I took the risk.

"Sleeping pills," I muttered through gritted teeth. There was a silence.

"Damn, Randle," Dally whistled through his teeth, tossing them back to me. I thought I could detect a hint of admiration in his voice. "I didn't know you had it in you."

I tucked the container safely out of sight and into my back pocket, turning away from Dally and striding into the house quickly before I changed my mind about what I was going to do. After a moment, Dally followed.

TWO-BIT'S POV

I was up and running in no time. After all, who could battle a hangover better than Two-bit Matthews himself? I had mastered walking in a straight line by the time a bleary-eyed Sodapop had stumbled into the living room, and I had almost finished making breakfast when Steve and Dally entered. I was sure neither Soda not Darry were up to cooking; I was worried enough about either of them holding a razor near their throats, let alone being close to a fire. I doubted that they had a good night's sleep ever since Ponyboy had come home. Come to think of it, they hadn't exactly slept throughout Pony's absence, either.

I shook my head as I dumped yet another half-burnt egg onto a clean plate. Hey, I never said cooking was a particular talent of mine.

STEVE'S POV

I sat down at the table, not even noticing that half my egg was burnt, and the other half was still runny, until I had bitten into it. The silence was almost unbearable and I took a furtive peek around the table at Two-bit, Dally, Darry, and Soda, watching as they chewed the elastic-like egg white in stoic silence. I could hardly believe that nobody had spoken yet.

Darry was staring at his egg as if it were the most captivating object in the universe, and Soda kept glancing in the direction of the room he and Pony shared, as if there was some invisible string that was pulling him toward his younger brother's direction.

My emotions toward the kid were so mixed that I tried not to think of him too much. It was difficult to let go of the jealousy and hate that had accumulated over the duration of so many years: envy for Soda's attention and unconditional love, and for Ponyboy's annoying innocence and his brains. I hated him more because of his unwillingness to hate me back, his readiness to put up with me for his older brother's sake. But at the same time, I felt guilty, guilty for making the kid's life miserable for nothing other than my own selfish, petty reasons. Annoyed with myself, I pushed my mind away from such confusing thoughts. Everybody was worried sick about the kid. It was my duty to look after Soda.

"Hey, Darry. . . Soda. . ." Everybody looked up at the unexpected sound of my voice, and I forced myself to continue, to speak past the lump in my throat. "You guys should really. . . get some more sleep," I said awkwardly. I received nothing but blank stares for my efforts. I gestured helplessly, feeling stupid for speaking at all. "You just look. . . really tired lately," I finished lamely. All Soda did was turn his head to glance at Pony's room for the tenth time. Darry muttered something alone the lines of, "We're fine, Steve," and went back to staring at his egg.

I sighed helplessly. I had hoped it wouldn't come to this. As I got up, my chair squeaked loudly, once again attracting everybody's attention.

"Drinks, anyone?" I offered.

"Sure," said Soda, as I knew he would.

I walked over slowly to the fridge, getting out a carton of chocolate milk. My hand shook as I took out two glasses, filling them to the brim. I slipped a hand into my pocket, surreptitiously removing two tablets and slipping one into each glass. I watched as they almost instantly dissolved into the brown liquid, leaving no tell-tale trace of white.

I paused for a second, letting the implications of what I was doing sink in. If Darry or Sodapop found out, they would not understand. Soda would hate me. He would have every right to. For god's sake, I was drugging my friends without their consent or knowledge! What was I doing? I paused for a second, running a sweaty hand through my heavily greased locks, not caring that it would disrupt strands that had been carefully gelled into place. Taking one more quick glance at Darry and Soda, I made up my mind. It was all for the best, really. And what was all the fuss about anyway? They were only harmless sleeping pills, goddamnit, not poison. What was the worst thing that could possibly happen? It was the only way they would get any rest before the trial. Not leaving myself a second's hesitation, I picked up a full glass in each hand, setting one down before each Curtis brother. I mentally punched myself as I walked back to my seat, realizing how painfully obvious my actions had been: my reluctance at pouring the drinks, my slipping in the pills while I was in plain view of practically the entire gang, and merely the fact that I had served anybody at all! But to my surprise, Soda gave me a small smile of thanks that did not quite reach his worn-out eyes and, picking up the glass, drained the whole glass in one long swallow.

Cautiously, I looked around the table once again, locking eyes for a second with Dally. His ice-blue eyes seemed to bore right through mine as one pale blonde eyebrow arched up tauntingly, as if saying, _"Nothing slips past me; I know what you just did."_

With difficulty, I tore my gaze away from him, forcing myself to stare down at the poorly-cooked egg I had no intention of eating. I was hyper-aware of each time Darry raised the seemingly innocent glass of milk to his lips.

SODAPOP'S POV

I was beginning to feel slightly woozy all of a sudden, as if my head was filled with cotton. I stood up with difficulty and Steve and Dally immediately looked up. I mumbled something incoherent and the world swayed dizzyingly. Putting a hand on the back of my chair to balance myself, I waited until the ground felt stable again and slowly walked back into my bedroom. Dropping down on the bed, I paused for a second to look at Pony. He looked so peaceful, his eyes firmly shut and the weak sunlight making patterns across his hair.

I didn't have time to figure out whether he was once again faking sleep or truly slumbering before I crashed down next to him and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

STEVE'S POV

I watched in silence as first Soda and then Darry staggered off to bed, the sleeping tablets immediately taking effect upon their systems. Finally, Two-bit broke the silence.

"What exactly just happened?"

I grinned mentally when he looked at Dallas, who shook his head, pointing at me.

"Hey, for once, it isn't my fault. Ask that bastard what happened."

They both looked at me expectantly.

"Well…", I floundered, "I thought they needed some sleep… and come on! That was the only way they would get any rest!"

Two-bit still looked confounded, but Dally finished off my explanation. "So you figured you would just drug them."

Two-bit jumped out of his seat in shock.

"You did _WHAT?_"

Dally looked smug. "He slipped sleeping pills into their chocolate milk. And if you were paying any attention just now, you would have noticed."

"All right guys… no need to freak out," I spoke up nervously. "In fact, we shouldn't shout at all, considering the fact that everybody's asleep right now. In fact, we can just… leave…"

Two-bit looked like he wanted to slaughter me right then and there, and Dally looked extremely amused at the situation. I fought the sudden urge to bash his head in, annoying smirk and all.

We were distracted by the soft pad of bare feet coming down the corridor.

TWO-BIT'S POV

Christ, the kid looked like a scared rabbit, ready to bolt at any sound or sudden movement. Soda's shirt almost swallowed him whole; it fell almost to his knees, and the short sleeves ended near his elbows. His light tousled hair and the way he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with a fist made him look much younger than his years. The wide-eyed stare he gave us and the angry red scratch marring his cheekbone made me understand why his big brothers were so protective of him. His oversized shirt slipped down one shoulder, exposing a series of mottled purplish bruises along his pale neck and collarbone. I heard Dally suck in a breath at the sight, and the sound startled Pony, who backed up against the wall, his eyes darting around the room for an escape just like a terrified animal. I realized that the attention of the three of us was probably making him more than a little uncomfortable. I turned around to face Steve and Dally.

"You two. Get out. Go and find Johnny or something. I think we're scaring him," I muttered under my breath. "We'll finish our conversation later."

Both of them took a step away from me, obviously unused to the livid sparks flying out of my normally carefree gray eyes. I would have smiled at Dally's shocked expression, but I was still angry about the fact that they had actually drugged Darry and Soda. Looking almost relieved, Steve and Dally quickly exited, leaving me alone with the frightened kid.

"Hey Pone," I grinned, trying my best to act normal. "What'r you doin' up?"

"I… I… had to use the bathroom," the kid squeaked, focusing on the tiles nearest his toes. It took me a second to realize that I was blocking the way, and I took a step aside. Taking a furtive glance up to make sure I was a safe distance away, Pony walked into the bathroom, obviously fighting the urge to run.

The kid was obviously not ready at all for the trial tomorrow. I pinched the bridge of my nose in an attempt to rid myself of my pounding headache, cursing myself for drinking all that alcohol. Stumbling over to the couch, I lay down, drifting almost immediately into a semi-sleep.

The flushing of the toilet a few seconds later woke me up, and I waved a hand at Pony.

"I'll be your best friend if you get me a huge glass of water," I wheedled tiredly. A few seconds later, I felt a cool glass enter my hand and I cracked open an eye. "Thanks, bud," I said, even though the living room was empty. I assumed that Pony had gone back to sleep. Unwilling to sit up, I tilted the glass into my mouth, spluttering and swearing as most of the water splashed up my nose. Preferring sleep to water, I set the glass down on the ground and closed my eyes, smiling contentedly as sleep claimed me.

The obnoxiously shrill sound of the doorbell awoke me and I swore once again, swinging my legs onto the ground and sitting up. My head felt a hundred times worse than before, and the world seemed to pound in beat with my brain. The doorbell shrieked once again, louder and more piercing than before. The sound alone made me bolt upright, and I massaged my temples, muttering, "Geez! I'm coming… I'm coming!"

Falling out of the couch with an awkward bump, I picked myself up and staggered to the front door, pulling it open with more difficulty than normal. I scratched the back of my neck, staring blankly at the smartly dressed man standing at the door.

"Hello. Is this the Curtis house?" he asked with a smile.

"Uhh… yeah," I mumbled. "What's up?"

"I am from the state. I'm here to check up on Ponyboy Curtis."

I stared at the dark haired man, suspicion flaring up in me for a second. There was something about that smile… something that I couldn't quite grasp… something about those black eyes… A flash of pain shot through my head and I forgot my skepticism, stepping aside to let the man in.

"He's somewhere in the house," I mumbled through my beer-fogged haze. "Ponyboy!" I spoke louder. "There's someone from the state here to see you."

I stayed awake until I saw Pony walk into the living room.

"Hey kid. I'm crashing. Call me if you need anything, okay?" Not hearing his answer, I fell back onto the couch and gave in to the influence of the beer that was clogging up my mind.

PONYBOY'S POV

I froze, unable to move, as I saw Kevin standing in the middle of the living room. It was a shock to my system, seeing the monster that had haunted my dreams for so long, invading the safe haven on my house. I struggled to breathe, to unlock my throat and scream out to Two-bit, but all I could do was stand there and fight to stay upright. Kevin locked his cold black eyes on mine and I shuddered as flashes of hazy, pain-filled memories attacked me, breaking through the weak defenses I had built up during the short month of relief I had.

He took a stride toward me and I faltered, feeling as if I were trapped in one of my nightmares, the ones where Kevin was beating me and my brothers were standing there watching in glee, cheering him on.

Kevin's mouth stretched into what seemed like a grin at my obvious terror. Quickly closing the distance between us, he grabbed me by the collar.

"Long time no see. Did'ja miss me, kid?"

Before I had time to respond or push away from his strong hands, he picked me up roughly, throwing me over his shoulder. I kicked out with all the strength I possessed, opening my mouth to scream. Kevin had anticipated this, however, and he wrapped a large hand around my throat, choking off any screams of protest that may have bubbled to the surface. Frantically, I clawed at his arm, trying desperately to draw a breath of deprived air. Just as my vision began to blur and gray at the edges, I was released. Kevin wasted no time, giving me no opportunity to escape or call for aid.

Deftly, he pulled a grayish, dirty looking handkerchief from his back pocket, tearing it in half with one strong jerk. My jaw was forced open and the coarse material shoved in deep. I immediately gagged, my throat muscles working to expel the unwanted article. Before I able to do this, the other half of the handkerchief was secured at the entrance of my mouth and tied around my head, effectively holding the cloth in place and gagging me. I struggled to breathe through my nose, trying not to allow the panic to overwhelm me as Kevin picked me up easily, swinging me over his shoulder as if I were nothing but an inanimate sack. Not giving up, I struggled with all my might, and a well-placed kick caused my kidnapper to double over, swearing softly. A hard punch to the back of my head momentarily stunned me and I slumped over his muscled shoulder, giving Kevin the time to soundlessly open the door and leave the house. I must have momentarily blacked out, because the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground and my wrists were bound tightly together. Kevin's face was looming before mine, his cold black eyes glittering in the dimness of the unknown place I found myself in.

"I warned you about spilling anything, kid," he snarled. "I think you've forgotten our little lessons together. Need a reminder?"

Not bothering to answer, I tried to crawl away, ignoring the painful throbbing of my skull that was threatening to make me pass out any second. I tasted my own blood, which trickled down from a lump somewhere on my head. However, escape was not so easy. Laughing manically, Kevin grabbed my ankle, squeezing it hard enough to make me yell out.

"I thought I taught you that escape was futile!" he sniggered. "You really do need that lesson again."

He flipped me onto my front, tugging off Soda's shirt. Without it, I felt vulnerable and alone, and I shivered, tasting salty tears on my tongue along with the metallic tang of blood. Kevin pinned me down on the rough gravel of the ground with one hand, while he unfastened his belt with another, slowly pulling it through the belt loops of his trousers. I felt my skin scrape raw on the coarse gravel and I knew with dread that worse pain was to come.

I cried out as the first blow landed on my unprotected back, immediately opening wounds that had almost healed. The pain was excruciating, and I felt as if my back was already on fire. Without waiting for me to recover, Kevin brought down the belt again, with all the force his straining biceps could deliver. I felt the buckle of the belt tear the skin on my shoulder and I blacked out again.

Kevin had not finished when I came to. I could feel every individual fiery mark on my back. I heard the horrifying _swish_ as the cruel belt whistled through the air and landed with a _smack_ on my bloody back. Strangely, it didn't add to the pain I was already feeling. I drifted into a semi-daze as I heard the _swish-smack… swiishh-smack…_ of the belt as it tore my back again and again and again. I was in my own world of blazing red anguish.

When I gained consciousness once again, the beating was over. I lay on the cement, trying to calm my harsh breathing. I opened my eyes, shocked that the ground was stained bright red.

"Listen up, kid," Kevin snarled. "That's just a kind reminder. I'm going to gain permanent custody of your sorry ass and if you squeak to your brothers about what just happened or say anything to piss me off at that trial tomorrow, you're dead. I have a studded belt at home and I'll beat you with it until your screaming throat is raw and the skin on your back is nonexistent. Then I'll go after those beloved brothers of yours. Got it?"

I retched, spilling out the contents of my stomach onto the ground near Kevin's black shoes. He swore at me, making a fist to slug me. He seemed to realize that I couldn't take any more, and he half picked me up by the shoulders.

"Have fun with your last day. I'm going to make sure that the rest of your life is a living hell," he grinned. He dropped me roughly, and I groaned as the uneven pavement came into contact with my heavily bleeding back.

When I opened my eyes again, Kevin was gone.

Please review:o)


	22. Nervous Anticipation

Chapter 22: Secrets, Nightmares, and Nervous Anticipation

PONYBOY'S POV

The darkness beckoning me was inviting and I fought the urge to black out again. Every inch of my body burned with the newly inflicted wounds and my stomach heaved once again when I caught sight of the amount of glistening blood surrounding me. However, my stomach had already rid itself of its contents, and all I could do was retch miserably onto the pavement, my salty tears mingling with the blood and saliva on the ground. I tried to sit up, but the intense pain in my back flared up and I flopped back down bonelessly, breathing in short gasps through my open mouth. I lay there for quite a while, trying to recognize my surroundings and gather up the strength to stand.

Finally, just as the sky was beginning to darken and the wind became slightly chilly, I staggered to my feet, swaying like a tired drunk. Leaning heavily against the nearest wall to gain my lost balance, I experienced a moment of panicked terror in which my over-active mind conjured up the scene of my brothers discovering what had just happened by finding my bloody body slumped over the sidewalk. Almost out of nowhere, Kevin materialized, wielding a large black double-barreled shotgun in his hand.

Hastily, I shook my head, ridding myself of the ghastly scenario. The thought of Soda or Darry getting hurt was enough to spur me into action. Looking over at my shirt, which lay in a crumpled heap in a pile of blood, one sleep ripped off, I decided to leave it. The damage done to it was pretty irreparable and besides, if either one of my brothers saw it, they would definitely suspect something. Despite the throbbing of my head and the acute ache in my back, I began to limp slowly out of the alley.

I was relieved to find that I was not in foreign territory after all; Kevin had not taken me very far. I spotted the lot a few yards away and made my way slowly toward it. Thankfully, the streets were mostly deserted other than the odd hood who eyed my bruised and battered form warily, keeping a safe distance. I was able to find my way back home undisturbed. Hardly believing that I had made it that far, I crept around the house, stopping when I reached the bathroom window. I grasped the pipe with both hands, biting back a gasp and wincing as every muscle in my body protested.

"I've got to do this… for Sodapop and Darry…" I thought, gritting my teeth and keeping the notion in my brain. The climb up to the window was slow and painful, and I almost moaned in relief when my fingers found the tiny latch to open the window. I squeezed through the window and landed with an awkward thump, sprawled across the cold bathroom tiles of my house. I had to bite down hard on my fist to prevent a scream of pain from escaping. I whimpered softly, trying to control the waves of pain that were coursing their way through my body. I shuddered as the first hot tear slipped down my cheek, but I quickly brushed it away.

_I won't cry_, I told myself firmly. _I am not going to be a crybaby about this. For once in my life, I am going to be tough. I have to survive this without Soda or Darry's help._

I couldn't help but let another shudder wrack my body and the thought of Kevin getting a hand on either one of my brothers.

Picking myself up from the floor, I turned on the shower, watching the water spray out of the nozzle as I waited for it to heat up. I jumped as I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey, Pony," Two-bit said loudly over the sound of running water. "You in there?"

"Yeah," I replied, shocked at how steady my voice seemed. "I'm just taking a quick shower."

"Okay," replied Two-bit, completely unsuspicious. "Just checking."

I listened to his receding footsteps and when I was sure that he was a safe distance away, I stripped out of my stiff jeans and stepped into the bathtub. Closing my eyes for a second to steel myself for the inevitable pain, I raised the shower nozzle up to my back. My mouth opened in a silent scream as the warm water came into contact with raw, bleeding wounds, and I fought to keep my shaking hand steady.

_For Soda and Darry, For Soda and Darry _I repeated inside my head like a silent mantra, the words giving me strength I never knew I had.

When I was finally done, I crawled out of the bathtub, suddenly feeling unbearable exhausted from blood loss and fatigue. Picking up my old clothing from the ground, I wrinkled my nose in disgust, depositing the heavily blood-saturated jeans into the rubbish bin and shoving them in underneath the rest of the garbage.

Realizing that I had nothing to wear, I rummaged through the laundry basket, settling on a semi-clean, navy shirt of Soda's. Hugging the shirt close to me and breathing in the comforting, familiar scent of my older brother, I closed my eyes, yearning for his soothing presence. I slipped the soft fabric over my head, careful not to upset the injuries on my back. Kneeling down, I swiftly cleaned the leftover blood on the white tiles with a paper towel and some water, depositing them carefully as well.

I took a moment to lean on the sink, looking into the mirror. Luckily, Kevin had left my face alone, focusing his rage on other areas of my body that could be easily concealed. My face looked a little pale, but that couldn't be helped. I hoped that the scrapes on my knees and the new bruising on my throat would blend into the old injuries scattered around my body. The lump on my forehead near my hairline was fairly obvious, though, and I decided not to put any grease in my hair, leaving it free to fall over my forehead and into my eyes, covering the tell-tale bump. I scowled at my reflection, hating how young my new hairstyle made me look. Taking a last minute survey of the bathroom, I decided that it seemed fairly spotless. The pain in my back had faded into a low throbbing, which was more bearable than before, but the world still swayed disorientatingly when I moved too fast. Opening the door quietly, I stepped out, walking straight into Two-bit.

TWO-BIT'S POV

Damn, how much longer was the kid going to take! I was about to bang on the door when it opened a crack and Ponyboy's slim frame slipped through, banging into me.

"How was the visit from the social worker guy?" I asked casually. Now that the effects of the beer were beginning to wear off, I was feeling decidedly guilty about leaving the poor kid alone to deal with the guy. I knew how jumpy he was around them.

"Umm… it went okay," replied Pony softly after a moment of hesitation, chewing on his fingernail. He ducked his head, his free fingers fidgeting with the hem of his dark shirt. I smiled to myself wryly. The kid may have been a master liar before, but since his return to Tulsa it was more than a bit off. I put a finger under his chine, forcing him to look up into my eyes. I was surprised to see that his green-gray eyes were filled with unshed tears. The slight tremors going through his body made me realize that he was more than a little shaken up about the social worker's visit.

"Listen, Pony," I started, pretending to ignore that Ponyboy was on the verge of tears. "I'm really sorry about… ya know… leaving you alone just now like that… I didn't do it on purpose, ya dig? And look, I'll try not ta drink myself out every night like that, 'kay?"

The kid looked pretty dazed, and I wasn't sure if he'd even heard me at all. He swayed on his feet and I took him by the shoulders to steady him.

PONYBOY'S POV

A wave of nausea and fatigue built up in me and I felt bile rise up at the back of my throat. My vision blurred alarmingly as Two-bit slipped in and out of focus. Through the dull throbbing in my head, I vaguely registered that he was saying something, but although I caught a few words here and there, I couldn't for the life of me make any sense of them. I just had to close my eyes for a second…

As if from a great distance, I heard Two-bit yell, "Jesus Christ, kid!" and then the darkness closed in.

I zoned out for a moment, and a few seconds later came the unnerving sensation of my feet leaving the floor. Someone slipped an arm under my back and then I was lifted up. I tried to thrash out as I saw Kevin's sneering face and his strong arms flinging me over his shoulder, but I felt completely paralyzed.

I opened my eyes a few moments later. I felt drained and still slightly nauseated. There was something soft beneath me, but my eyes took a while to adjust to the dimness of my surroundings. I found myself sitting up in my bed, and Two-bit's face was looming near me, uncharacteristic concern etched all over his features.

"Wh… what just happened?" I croaked out. "How did I get here?" Two-bit handed me a glass of water.

"I dunno what happened," replied Two-bit, shaking his head, "You just… blacked out for a second there."

"Really?" I said, surprised. "I just closed my eyes for a second. How long was I out?"

"About five minutes," Two-bit placed a hand on my chest, gently pushing me back down onto the bed. "Get some rest. You're not looking too good."

He pulled the blanket up to my chin, standing up to leave. He left the door partially open, allowing a crack of light to slip through.

I closed my eyes, but just as I was about to surrender to exhaustion, a thought hit me and I forced my eyes back open. Climbing carefully out of bed, I padded softly down the hallway and into the living room.

Two-bit looked up from his place at the kitchen table, where he was eating a slice of chocolate cake. He jumped out of his chair at the sight of me.

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis. What are you doing out of bed?"

He sounded so much like Darry that I stared at him. He didn't seem to notice.

"Well?" he crossed his hands, staring down at me.

"Umm…" I faltered, "You're not going to tell Soda or Dar what just happened, right?"

"Of course I'm going to tell them," said Two-bit in a voice that brooked no argument.

"But… but you _know_ they'll just worry their heads off about it, and it wasn't even a big deal," I protested. "I'm fine!" I did a bunch of jumping jacks to prove my point, trying not to give in to my sore head or aching back. Two-bit was not in the slightest bit amused.

"Pony, stop it." He sighed at my pleading look. "Fine, I won't tell them. But I won't lie if they ask me. Now get back into bed." He herded me back into the bedroom. "Now, if I see your foot touch the ground in the next couple of hours, I'm spilling everything to your brothers," he said once I had settled into bed. "I'm serious."

If I had been in better shape, I would have cracked a laugh at that. Two-bit? Serious? Those two words just didn't go together. Just as Two-bit was about to leave, I cursed myself for my weakness, speaking softly. "Two-bit..."

He swung around.

"Could you… could you stay a while?" I hated myself for my momentary fright of being left alone, but I didn't think I could stand it right now. His eyes softened and he retraced his steps, perching on the edge of my bed.

"Pony, ya know I wouldn't leave ya alone again," he as he adopted a hurt expression. "Didn't ya notice Sodapop right next to you?"

I turned my head with a bit of difficulty, noticing my brother for the first time. I thought Two-bit would get up and leave, but I was surprised when he didn't move, reaching over to tuck the blankets securely around me.

"Ya better some sleep, Pone," he said in a softer tone. I closed my eyes again, breathing a sigh of relief as I sank into the soft sheets. However, the excruciating pain in my back was impossible to ignore, and a few seconds later, I flipped onto my front, finally falling asleep when the pressure on my aching back was relieved.

DARRY'S POV

I stretched, yawning wide as I awoke. I kept my eyes closed for a while, pretending that I was back in the blissfully deep sleep I was just in. I smiled contentedly. That was the best rest I had had for a long, long while. Opening one eye, I glanced over at the small black clock sitting on my bedside table, shooting up to a sitting position in shock when I saw the green numbers glowing "8:38PM". I confirmed the time by checking my wristwatch, which read "8:43PM" (I always kept my wristwatch a few minutes early).

I couldn't believe that I had slept through the entire day! I sprang up in shock and sudden panic when I realized that the trial was less than fifteen hours away. I walked out into the living room, where Steve, Dally, and Johnny were sitting. They all looked up at the sight of me.

"Hey Dar," said Dally with a hint of a smile. "I was wondering how long you'd be out."

Steve reddened slightly, running a hand through his perfectly greased locks. I frowned at Dal and him briefly, but focused on more important things.

"Where're my kid brothers?"

Steve pointed to the bedroom. "They're both fast asleep. Two-bit's in there too."

I opened the bedroom door quietly, slipping in and closing it with a soft _click_. I looked down, amused at the sight of Two-bit sprawled on his back horizontally across the double bed, using Soda's feet as a pillow. I looked at Pony, who was sleeping on his front, using Soda's arm as a make-shift pillow as well. I hated to wake them all up, but I knew I had to. If I let them sleep for much longer, we would all be awake for the rest of the night. I shook Soda's shoulder lightly and he quickly awoke, blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

"Dar?" he questioned, confused.

"It's me," I confirmed. "You've gotta get up, little buddy, or you won't be able to sleep again later on."

Soda yawned, sitting up. His movement caused the other two to stir. I grabbed Two-bit's arm, unmercifully pulling him out from under the blanket. He yelled, thrashing about comically and landing on the floor. Soda laughed for the first time in weeks, scrambling out of bed to get a better view of Two-bit squirming on the floor.

Pony awakened from the commotion, his hazel eyes blinking up at me blankly.

"C'mon, Pone," I said, "You gotta get out of bed."

I was surprised when he let me pull him out of bed without protest; normally, mornings with Ponyboy consisted of me yelling blue murder and swearing I would skin him if he didn't get ready on time. I shook my head. Well, this wasn't exactly what you'd call a 'normal' situation.

SODAPOP'S POV

I was astonished that I had been able to sleep through the entire day; it was almost nine by the time Darry woke me. I wondered briefly if anybody had secretly force-fed me sleeping pills or something, and laughed out loud and the ridiculous notion. Everybody looked up from their dinner and stared at me, and I shrugged.

"Just... thinking," I explained. Two-bit cocked an eyebrow.

"You? Thinkin'! I'd sure love ta see the day when Sodapop actually used that head for something other than ta grow hair on," he laughed, flipping an asparagus at me. I caught it in mid-air, stuck out my tongue, and lobbed it straight toward his forehead.

I could understand the gang's need for humour and besides, fretting about the trial was doing none of us any good, especially Ponyboy. Everybody seemed to sense this, and nobody breached the topic throughout dinner, acting as if it was just a normal get-together. In fact, nobody spoke of anything to do with the trial throughout the whole night, something for which I was extremely grateful for.

Two-bit left early, saying he wanted to pick up some broads at the drive-in, and Dally left with him.

I jumped onto the couch, and, winning the brief battle with Steve, swiped up the remote control and began channel-surfing. Looking around, I watched Ponyboy curled up in his seat, already deeply absorbed in yet another intimidatingly massive paperback. I smiled at him, proud of my brainy kid brother.

I could see Darry sitting at the kitchen table, sorting out the bills and tax, and mentally, I grinned, trying to pretend that everything was normal. I tried to forget that Ponyboy could be taken away from us in a few hours. That thought sobered me and my gaze went quickly back to my kid brother. He went on flipping the pages, buried in his own little world and utterly oblivious to my attention.

"Hey guys," Johnny spoke up after a while. "I'm gonna go now. See ya'll tomorrow."

Darry looked up. "Where're you gonna sleep?"

Johnny shrugged. "Probably in the lot, if it ain't too chilly."

"If it gets too cold, don't forget you can come back here and sleep in the living room," I offered.

Johnny just shook his head. "Naw, I should be okay. But thanks, Sodapop."

Steve and I exchanged a glance as Johnny quickly slipped out through the front door. We both hated the idea of Johnny sleeping outside by his lonesome. Steve picked himself up from the couch a while later and left, grimacing at the thought of having to go back to his old man.

It was getting late and I knew we should get to bed soon, but I wasn't sleepy at all. I knew Ponyboy was; I was keeping an eye on him and I noticed the wide yawns he was trying to conceal from behind his book. I guess Darry was aware of them too, because he stood up, walking over to us.

"Hey kids," he said with a smirk. "You'd all better go to bed soon. Pony's tired and we should all get some rest before the trial."

"Kids!" I scoffed, trying to ignore the fact that he had mentioned the dreaded trial. The gang had skirted around the topic throughout dinner and after it, and it was a shock to my system to hear the word so suddenly.

PONY'S POV

I yawned again, berating myself for being so weak. I couldn't help my exhaustion; the day's events had worn me out and the excrutiating pain in my back was steadily increasing. There was a dull throbbing in my head, and I closed my eyes, resting my head down on the couch, hoping that neither of my brothers had noticed my sudden action. My wish proved futile; I heard Darry's chair give a squeak as he stood up, and Soda's hands were on my shoulders, gently pulling me up and out of the couch.

"Come on, Pony," he whispered, "Let's get ya into bed, 'kay?"

Feeling as if all the energy I had ever possessed had been sucked out of me, I let him steer me toward the bedroom, much like Two-bit had done a few hours before. I didn't have the strength to argue.

I was fast asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

SODAPOP'S POV

I was more than a little surprised at my brother's lack of resistance as I tucked him into bed.

"The kid's wiped out," remarked Darry, who had followed us in. I nodded my head in agreement, but turned around when I heard a yawn from Darry.

"And so're you," I laughed quietly, careful not to wake my other sleeping brother. Darry gave me a grin that did not quite succeed in hiding his exhaustion.

"Maybe a little," he admitted ruefully. I grinned back at him cheekily.

"Whoa... Losing your touch, eh, Superman?"

He scowled half-heartedly, flinging out a muscled arm to cuff me around the head. I laughed crazily when he missed completely, batting the air instead.

"Come on, Superhero. Let's get ya to bed as well."

My second shock of the night came when even _Darry_ did not argue. He collapsed into his bed without bothering to take off his jeans or pull the covers over himself. If it was difficult to get Ponyboy into bed at night, it was almost impossible to get Darry to sleep. His pride kept him from showing weakness, and the fact that he was willing to show his exhaustion alarmed me a little. Trying not to let it show, I chuckled with my normal good humour.

"Ya sure you're comfy there, Dar?"

He merely grunted, without opening his eyes or turning his head in my direction. I sighed, throwing up my hands in mock frustration, even though he couldn't see me.

All Darry did was grunt once again when I jumped onto the bed. The mattress did a little jig of it's own, the ancient springs squealing out their displeasure at the disturbance. Darry finally opened one eye.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled.

"Tryin' ta make ya a bit more comfortable," I replied. I rolled my eyes at the third grunt he made, but at least this time he responded, his hand joining mine in the struggle to undo the three buttons on his jeans. The small but arduous task was completed in a few seconds and I jumped off the bed to remove his jeans with one tug. Hopping back on, I rolled him over onto his front, placing my hands on the small of his back.

I kneaded and massaged my way up to his shoulders slowly, feeling the tension in his muscles slowly release. I sighed as I found yet more knots. I couldn't stand that Darry had such a taxing, exhuasting job. And when he came back home he had to deal with yet more stress. He really didn't deserve any of this.

_If only mum and dad were still alive_... tears pricked at the back of my eyes as I pictured mum's strong, warm smile and recalled the feeling of dad's comforting bear hugs. I had always believed that they could solve any problem and chase away any fear. They made the world a much better place, somehow seeming to fill up the house with warmth and light. But they were gone.

I bit my bottom lip so hard that I almost drew blood.

"That feels good, Soda," Darry mumbled into his pillow, groaning as my fingers unconsciously soothed another knot in his shoulder and bringing me out of my painful reverie.

Gradually, his breathing evened out and his body relaxed, sinking into the soft mattress. Trying not to disrupt him, I carefully crept down from his bed, closing the door with a soft click.

I worked my way back to my bedroom, blindly trailing my fingers along the cold, smooth wall to gain some sense of orientation in the dark hallway. Fumbling slightly, I finally found the doorknob and, twisting it carefully, I stepped into the room. Briefly pausing to strip out of my pants and, throwing them over the back of a chair, I climbed into bed, careful not to disturb Ponyboy, who was snoring softly. I stretched out beside him, closing my eyes and realizing after a few seconds that I was not at all exhausted. That afternoon nap had revived me and now I was wide awake.

I opened my eyes, looking up at the hazy shadows cast by the pale moonlight on the white-washed ceiling. I began to play a mental game that dad had taught me years ago. Making animals out of the unidentifiable shapes, I saw a dolphin with an abnormally large fin, and elephant (it didn't actually look anything like one; it just made me think of one because it was so darned ginormous). I sobered immediately when my eyes distinguished a horse in reared up on its back legs, its head thrown back in pride and spirit.

"Mickey Mouse…" the words escaped before I realized it, and I felt a wetness building up behind my eyes as a wave of bittersweet yearning rushed through me. I longed to jump up on the ornery horse that refused to have an owner and gallop blindly wherever he took me, leaving my cares and worries in the dust behind me.

I don't know how long I lay there on my back, trying to clear my mind of thoughts and worries. I felt so exhausted with all that had happened this week. All I wanted was a brief relief. I knew it was selfish, but I didn't think I could possibly worry about Pony any more. If I agonized over my kid brother being hurt like this I knew for sure I would jump out of bed, take a plane to Murray, and beat the shit out of the bastard responsible for this. I wouldn't stop until he drowned in his own cold blood.

I halted this train of thought, alarmed that I was seriously considering such violent notions. I had never hated anybody this much. Sure, I didn't exactly harbor kind feelings toward those snooty socs, but I was more frustrated at my own financial status and my home situation. Then I saw others who were more fortunate than myself, who had all the kicks and flaunted them, and I couldn't help but lash out. And I didn't hate one specific soc. It was the whole mob of them, and the ideals they stood for, the fact that they wasted their money, took advantage of their benefits, and ganged up on helpless kids, made me scowl in derision. They thought they were better than us greasers, but if money wasn't a factor, us 'white trash with long hair' would be the only ones standing after the socs had turned on each other and fought themselves to death. At least we had a sense of friendship and loyalty. We stuck together and stood up for members of the gang. Them socies would betray their mothers for ten bucks. And they would get away with it.

The blanket was suddenly yanked off me in one violent jerk and a chilly breeze swept over my body, causing me to shiver and my skin break out in goosebumps. I glanced sideways in annoyance, ready to steal the blanket back. I had a moment of panic when I couldn't see my kid brother. The blanket was bunched up in a messy pile beside me and Pony was nowhere to be seen. I realized, after seeing how the entire blanket was shaking, as if experiencing earthquake tremors, that Pony as somewhere beneath that pile. I reached over, tentatively taking a corner of the material and lifting it up.

"Soda…" he mumbled, still asleep. My heart wrenched as I saw him curled up into the tiniest possible ball, his face buried in his chest. I sat up, trying to untangle him without awaking him. He didn't make it easy, kicking and flailing out. His actions got more and more urgent, as if he was fighting some imaginary attacker.

"Soda! Darry…!" he screamed, struggling out of my grasp.

"Come on, Pony," I coaxed. "Wake up for me." I shook his shoulder, alarmed when he didn't immediately wake up. He seemed even more agitated, flinching almost violently away from my touch and fighting me off desperately when I tried to wake him.

Helplessly, I looked up as I heard the door fly open and Darry ran in, his hair was tousled and his clothes were disheveled but his eyes were open and alert.

PONYBOY'S POV

I couldn't tell if I was dreaming, or if what was happening was some horrible reality. I could see Darry in a boneless heap on the ground, his eyes open in a glassy stare. He was lying in a pool of blood and for some strange reason, I knew for certain it was my own. I stood there, frozen to the spot in shock and horror, unable to comprehend the ghastly scene in front of me.

"Darry?" I said, timidly, trying to reach out and touch him.

"DARRY!"

I looked up, startled, as I heard Soda's voice. I saw him running toward us at full speed. He was so far away that I could only see a fleck of gold on the horizon.

I stayed where I was, still gathering the strength to reach out and see if Darry was okay. Because Darry was going to be okay. There was no other option. I just needed to get him back home and in bed. Soda would be here any second and everything would be okay.

Just as I had convinced myself, I felt another presence close behind me and I swung around, my eyes widening in surprise.

"SODAA!" I screamed, praying fervently that my brother would make it in time. "SODA! HELP ME!"

Kevin clapped a large hand over my mouth, muffling my cries. I choked as I inhaled the unwelcome odor of cigarettes, sweat, and something unpleasant that I couldn't identify.

Grinning nastily, he procured a rope from seemingly nowhere and bound my wrists together behind my back as tightly as he could. The rough texture of the rope chafed at my skin painfully and I cried out, trying to struggle out of his iron hold. I was attacked by a sudden onslaught of memories and I felt my willpower dissolve under the power Kevin had over me.

"Please!" I pleaded, abandoning all my pride. "Please… don't tie me up! Please!"

He didn't respond, but shoved me down hard. I toppled onto the ground, my balance lost. He squatted, forcing my legs to bend and tied the rope around them as well. I struggled in terror, but found myself completely immobilized.

Kevin laughed down at me, obviously enjoying the stark fear in my eyes.

"You told them… I told you not to spill to your brothers, but you did. And you remember what happens next, don't you? Don't worry kid. I won't let any harm come to you… yet. Let's wait until your lovin' brother joins the party."

I opened my mouth to deny it, but I knew it was pointless. I tried instead to scream, to warn Soda, who was pelting toward us and getting closer and closer by the second, completely oblivious to the danger, but Kevin pulled a long, rusty blade out of his pocket, waving it menacingly close to my throat.

"If you scream I'll kill your brother first. Painfully." He savored the last word, as if it was an expensive delicacy he could wait no longer to relish.

My breathing was coming in quick, irregular gasps as the blade nicked my collarbone. I could see Soda loping closer and closer, his eyes firmly set on Darry's still body. Finally, I could take it no more.

"SODA! NOOO!"

I struggled as hard as I could, kicking and thrashing with all my strength in an attempt to escape Kevin's grasp. It was impossible. The ropes seemed to get tighter and tighter as I strained, tighter and tighter until I choked on my own tears and panic…

I heard Soda's voice shouting and I battled harder. I had to save him! I couldn't let Kevin hurt my brothers like he had hurt me…

I renewed my struggles, not stopping until my arm connected with something solid. I heard somebody yelp, and the ropes suddenly fell away.

I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dimness of the room. I was shivering and covered in cold sweat, despite the blanket that was tangled up around my body. I sat up immediately, ready to bolt at any sight of Kevin. The sudden movement sent sharp stabs of pain into my tender back and I fell forward, gasping, into somebody. Before I could worry about who exactly that person was, warm arms circled me and pulled me into a deeper embrace.

"Pony, thank god you're awake… I was so worried…" came Soda's soft, comforting voice somewhere above my head. "Normally, ya wake up immediately, but this time ya just wouldn't wake up…"

I rested my forehead on his chest, letting his voice and the steady beat of his heart calm my pounding chest. After a while, the tremors going through my body ceased and I shot out of Soda's embrace, suddenly remembering my dream.

"Where's Darry? Is he okay!" I almost shouted, panic colouring my words.

"I'm right here, little buddy," came Darry's reassuring voice. I felt the mattress dip as my oldest brother sat down beside me.

"Are you okay?" I asked frantically, checking him over quickly. "Where's…"

"He's not here," Darry interrupted immediately. "I'm fine, Ponyboy. Really. And I promised I wouldn't ever let you come to harm."

He placed his hands on either side of my face, tilting it up so I had no choice but to stare into his eyes.

"Don't ever forget that, baby brother. I'll promised I would protect you and I'll never let you down. I'm not going to let that bastard get away with this," Darry said earnestly.

I nodded, struck by the sincerity and resolution in my brother's eyes.

"I know, Dar. I'm sorry." I looked down at my hands and I felt Soda put an arm over my shoulder.

"Naw honey," he soothed. "Ya don't have to apologize for anything, hear me? None of this is your fault, understand?"

I chose not to answer, instead burrowing my head into Soda's neck, glad of the protection he offered.

"You ready to go back to sleep, Pone?" Darry asked softly. After a moment's hesitation, I forced myself to nod. Darry must have caught the frightened look I gave him, though, because he made no move to evacuate my side of the bed.

Suddenly, I caught sight of a nasty looking bruise that was beginning to develop on Soda's forearm.

"What happened to you!" I gasped. Soda looked a little sheepish, and he glanced at Darry before he replied.

"Well… ya kicked me in your sleep, Pone," he finally admitted.

Soda noticed as tears sprang into my eyes, interrupting before I could apologize.

"I think it looks pretty tuff," he grinned, flexing his arm. "Whaddaya reckon, Dar?"

The tears poured down my cheeks regardless, and although I cursed myself for them, I couldn't stop the flow. Soda pulled me into another bear hug.

"Aww, it's okay, Ponyboy," he mumbled into my hair. "Don't fret about it."

I realized that I although I had been trying to save Soda in my dream, I had ended up injuring him. I started laughing weakly,even though I couldn't reallyfind humour from the situation. Hot tears were still flowing and soaking up Soda's shirt, but I couldn't stop laughing at the same time. I struggled to breathe, choking on a hiccup.

Soda must have known I was going into hysterics because he talked to me in a low, soothing voice, holding me close to him, until my helpless laughter had died down.

By then, the tears had vanished and I felt utterly exhausted. Soda laid me down, tucking a pillow beneath my head. I heard Darry stand up and stretch beside me.

"I think I'll stay here tonight," he said softly, obviously under the impression that I was already asleep. "I'm too tired to go back to my room."

Darry's bedroom was a mere ten steps away from ours and I knew he would have been able to easily make his way there. I was aware that it his protective streak was kicking in. However, I didn't feel annoyed like I normally would. After so many nights spent alone, cold, and terrified in Kevin's house, I was grateful for the warm comfort and shelter my brothers provided. I sank into the covers, smiling as somebody pulled the covers up to my chin and turned out the lights. I felt a strong pair of arms encircle me from one side, and a few seconds later, another body bounded into bed, flinging an arm around my shoulders.

Fully content for the first time in months, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

DARRY'S POV

I hadn't been kidding when I said I was exhausted. It seemed like my head had only just hit the pillow when I was once again awoken. It was pitch black. I heard a scream and experienced a moment of disorientation. "Somebody call the fire department!" was my first reaction.

Then I realized that the scream had come from Ponyboy, who was struggling like a wild beast in an attempt to escape from my arms.

I panicked for a second when I realized that Soda was fast asleep. This was completely out of my league. Normally, when I entered the bedroom, Pony was awake and being comforted by Soda. I had no idea what to do.

I was afraid Pony would injure himself from the way he was thrashing about. I tried to loosen my hold on him a little to calm him, but not enough to let him escape. It didn't work. Although he was trying to escape my grasp, he was gripping my shirt tightly in both hands at the same time.

"Pony… Pony," I shook him, trying to wake him up. "Come on, Pony, wake up!"

Soda shifted in his sleep, awakening at my words. He sat up immediately, taking Ponyboy's hands in his. It was a good move. Pony's flailing fists would have probably caught Soda or me in the jaw, and I really wouldn't appreciate a blow to the face at this time of night.

With well practiced ease, Soda lowered his mouth to Pony's ear, speaking soft but urgent words that I couldn't quite catch. Pony's eyes flew open and he bolted upright.

"I… I can't breathe! …Soda! I can't… breathe!"

His face was slowly turning blue as he struggled unsuccessfully to take in air. I was on the verge of a panic attack as well, but Soda somehow remained calm.

"You can breathe, Ponyboy," Soda said firmly. "Here… breathe with me."

He placed Pony's hand on his chest, taking in slow but steady lungfuls of air. Pony seemed to soak up Soda's comforting aura. After a few seconds his muscles loosened and he followed Soda's lead, sucking in mouthful after mouthful of fresh air.

"You wanna talk about it, baby?" Soda asked, pushing sweaty locks out of Pony's eyes. Pony shuddered hard and buried his face into Soda's chest.

Our eyes met over Pony's head. We both knew we couldn't avoid the topic forever. The nightmares would plague our little brother until he was ready to face them head on. However, now was not the night to force him into it. We both had faith in Ponyboy. We knew he would find it in himself to find the strength and conquer his demons. Until then…

"It's all right, honey. It was just a nightmare," Sodapop soothed, tucking Ponyboy back into bed again and deftly flicking the covers up over the three of us. "We'll be right beside you all night long. We won't let any harm come to you."

Just before sleep claimed me, I turned my head to watch both my brothers slumbering peacefully in the fading moonlight.

I felt my insides squeeze in trepidation. Soon, it would be morning.

She: Thanks for taking the time to review and critique my story. I do agree that some readers may find the thank you's at the top of the chapter cumbersome, especially those I did not respond to. However, I do not think that it is 'unnecessary' to thank reviewers. Personally, I feel appreciated when an author takes the time to respond to my review. You suggested email. It is plausible, yes, but nobody in the world has the time to individually email 20+ people. Even in the summer.

About the temperature thing, I think that is a tad nitpicky. Yes, you are right about me not living in the states. I have never used Fahrenheit before and I feel more comfortable measuring the weather in Celsius. I think that's a rather insignificant matter, though.

Lastly, I am getting rather sick of people telling me that this story is 'unrealistic'. Please, have some patience. If you don't like the story, stop reading. If you like it, don't start judging it from chapter 10. That's not even half of this story.

Legaldruglover: haha watches you squirm sadistically j/k. Yes, Kevin did do it out in the open… I guess that man has nothing to lose, right?

Maravillastar: mwahhaha… I left him out there like that because I am PURE EVIL!

Malik Fan 03: Yes, Pony torture rocks my world!

xBxMYxJaMeSxDeANxcandyclouds: don't worry! The ending is happy, I promise.

Misty: Thanks for your review!

Thanks also to darkravenx0, pony's girl, Tehsylvania, animalsare4life, madden, Liz, …

Omg, I just realized that it is 4:30am right now. I would absolutely love to respond to all my wonderful reviewers, but I also want to update this chapter asap…

I'm so sorry to all the people I didn't get around to. Please know that your reviews were read and greatly appreciated.


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